I just can't

[Notupforit]

I posted a few days ago about not wanting to go to a waterpark for my sister's birthday because I hate my post-baby body. We ended up going and had a nice time - except that I look back at all the photos and I look so disgusting that I just want to cry. I've realised that my breasts are by far the biggest problem. They're huge and saggy and I HATE them. I've attached a picture that my husband (who is also, apparently, the world's most incompetent photographer) took on the day so you can see what I mean. Believe it or not, I actually have a waist underneath the giant sagging balls of fat hanging off my body.
Now my husband has arranged for us to see his best friend and his fiancée tomorrow. She's obviously gorgeous and slim. They're very friendly but every single time we see them, he comments on my weight. He's very into fitness so he's not really even speaking from an aesthetic perspective and he'd say exactly the same thing to men and women so it's nothing perverted or sexual. In the context, he's definitely not being out of line or rude. It just means that I know he'll acknowledge and notice how fat and hideous I look.
I don't want anyone to see me but I can't just never leave the house. I just don't know what to do.

[Danetobe]

You have a lovely figure.

[LakieLady]

If DH's friend makes any comments, tell him to go and grow a whole new person, squeeze it out of an orifice and keep it alive with food provided entirely from his insides for a few months, then get back to the way he was before.

Only then will he be entitled to make comments about your post-baby body. Which is great, btw.

[Danetobe]

Haha I though it’s was a brag too when I saw the pic before reading 😂

[BabyLlamaZen]

I'm jealous op! You have a gorgeous post baby body.

I'm sorry you feel rubbish though. Can you tell your friend you dont want to talk about it if he brings up your weight?

[Raffaroo]

You look lovely!! You sound as though you have a far worse view of your body than what others see. Gorgeous figure! I know you say the best friend isn't being rude but if he makes comments along those lines every time he seems you then he is. There's no need to bring that kind of thing up. I definitely think you need to work on your self confidence a bit because what you think you look like you really don't.

[Patsypie]

I think you have a lovely figure. A more supportive style would probably make you feel better but I think you're lovely and I'm not just saying it. As for the twat who comments on your weight? He can fuck right off!

[BingPot720]

You look great. You just need properly fitted, supportive swimwear. Bravissimo would be great for this as they cut specifically for the boobs so not just a case of bigger all over, but properly fitted to your chest AND the rest of you.

As for the friend, in the context he IS being both out of line and rude. It would only be acceptable for him to comment on your weight of you specifically asked for his critique (and if you are doing this - WHY?!) And even then as a friend he should be diplomatic IMO. You are not "fat and hideous" and if he says or implies you are you should never see him again. It would be incredibly rude if you were a size 30, but you're not so it's rude and completely inaccurate to boot.

[sausagepastapot]

I honestly saw that photo and thought you were very sexy.

[Justgorgeous]

You have a banging body!

[mrsmummy111]

I don’t mean this to come out wrong, but you keep saying you’re “fat”, but genuinely....you’re not remotely fat. You just have large breasts which in your head make you feel like you’re fat. Whereas to other people, honestly and truly, you don’t look even remotely fat. You just look like you’ve got big boobs!!!! And there’s not a lot you can do about that (short of surgery!!!) other than making sure you just wear decent supportive bras and swimwear. Granted, that swimsuit doesn’t suit big boobs, you need something with a bit more support. I breastfed DS and even though I never had big boobs before, they’re now actually so small i can’t even wear a bra as they simply don’t make them small enough. I have to wear a fucking crop top like a teenager so my nipples don’t show through my clothes. I’d give my left kidney to have cleavage like yours! Embrace it, you’re gorgeous

[KitchenConfidential]

You’re absolutely gorgeous. And if anyone commented on my weight, I’d use the MN classic phrase “did you mean to be so rude?”

[Twentynone21]

You look great! I’d be very happy with your figure. Try Figleaves for underwired swimwear, I have a big bust and bought some lovely swimsuits from this site.

[CarterBeatsTheDevil]

In the context, he's definitely not being out of line or rude.

He really is. He really really is. He is. He absolutely is.

[amusedtodeath1]

Your new post baby body is lovely, I understand how insecure you can feel about your body after giving birth, but really you've nothing to worry about there.

Your body may be different now but it's not awful, bad or hiddeous. Most people won't be looking at you in a critical way like you do, they just see you.

As for super fit friend, he may not have changed but if you don't want to discuss health and fitness you don't have to, go to the loo, change the subject or just be honest that you're having a hard time adjusting to your new body and talking about it makes you feel uncomfortable.

[cabinfever2]

Op you look gorgeous but if you got a bravissimo tankini/costume with a wire you would feel amazing I promise!

[stealm]

Husband's friend is very rude indeed.
All you need is a better swimsuit and you'll look really fabulous.

[SpillTheTeaa]

Fishing for compliments. I'm not throwing you any bouquets. You don't need them. If you have the courage to upload a photo to a world wide site you're not lacking in confidence one little bit.

This. Literally read the OP and my eyes nearly got stuck at the back of my head.

[Shinebright72]

I think you look fab. If you feel self conscious it will be that you need a more supportive costume as do most women with a bigger bust. When I had my DC I didn’t loose my weight until a good year later.

[Fosler]

Wow you look amazing! I'm envious that you also have a waist.

Shop around for a better costume! It will help build your confidence because that's your only problem. 💐

[pigsDOfly]

You seem to be seeing yourself through a distorted lens.

Your breasts are large, larger than they were in the past, I imagine, because you've recently had a baby, but they certainly don't look the way you've described them.

Your husband's best friend is being incredibly rude and judgemental if he's commenting on anyone's weight.

What gives him the right to give his opinion on how someone looks? Of course he's speaking from an aesthetic perspective, and it's his perspective of how he thinks people should look and what is a 'perfect' body, in his opinion.

You are clearly surrounded by people who are very into appearance and keeping fit and you are comparing yourself to them when you've recently had a baby.

Obviously, your husband's friend, this clearly, 'perfect' specimen of manhood hasn't recently had a baby and is therefore in perfect condition, bodywise. Shame his manners and attitude aren't just as perfect.

Stop telling yourself you're disgusting, you aren't and it's a horrible thing to say about anyone, so why say it about yourself.

I imagine, from the way you write about yourself that you were very slim before you got pregnant, well you're far from fat now, and you've just had a baby, for God's sake.

Go out tomorrow and try to feel confident in yourself. Stop comparing your body with people who haven't recently given birth, or anyone else come to that, and have a lovely time.

[brightbluegentian]

I think that your DH was not making a mistake or being a rubbish photographer. The angle makes me think he clearly appreciates your wonderful body! sod what his obnoxious mate thinks - it really is none of his business.

[Doodar]

You need a swimsuit with better support, that one does you no favours. Otherwise you’ve got a lovely figure.

[Thinkingabout1t]

Your husband's friend is a dickhead and very rude. You look fine.

[Thinkingabout1t]

I mean, even if you looked hideous he would still be a bad-mannered oaf to tell you!

[BigBadVoodooHat]

Is it just me who finds the frequency of swimsuit photos uploaded to MN a bit unusual?

I’ve been on a variety of forums for 20+ years, but only on MN have I ever seen people with body insecurity posting swimsuit photos for comment