I just can't

[Notupforit]

I posted a few days ago about not wanting to go to a waterpark for my sister's birthday because I hate my post-baby body. We ended up going and had a nice time - except that I look back at all the photos and I look so disgusting that I just want to cry. I've realised that my breasts are by far the biggest problem. They're huge and saggy and I HATE them. I've attached a picture that my husband (who is also, apparently, the world's most incompetent photographer) took on the day so you can see what I mean. Believe it or not, I actually have a waist underneath the giant sagging balls of fat hanging off my body.
Now my husband has arranged for us to see his best friend and his fiancée tomorrow. She's obviously gorgeous and slim. They're very friendly but every single time we see them, he comments on my weight. He's very into fitness so he's not really even speaking from an aesthetic perspective and he'd say exactly the same thing to men and women so it's nothing perverted or sexual. In the context, he's definitely not being out of line or rude. It just means that I know he'll acknowledge and notice how fat and hideous I look.
I don't want anyone to see me but I can't just never leave the house. I just don't know what to do.

[gypsywater]

You have a lovely figure, but maybe would feel better with a breast reduction?

[Kaathesnake]

You could try a tankini, Op. You buy the top and bottoms separately, and you can keep the top pulled down over your tummy (like I do!) if you want. The ones I’ve got have formed cups so they give good support. Wet swimming cossies mostly give zero support anyway, and sag the more they get used.

[wildone84]

You have a very nice figure nothing wrong with your body at all.

[redwinefine]

You look stunning and I guarantee for every woman you wished you looked like there, there would be women staring at YOU wishing they had your figure x

[Kaathesnake]

Oh - and your DH mate is a dinky-dicked Tosser!!
Who the hell is he to tell people what he thinks of their weight or appearance?
I would say to him... ‘well, I can lose the weight, honey, but you’ll always be a wanker” Tbh, I wouldn’t even see him, he’s not worth the space in your head!
Hate hate hate blokes like him👹

[NoMoreDickheads]

He's very into fitness so he's not really even speaking from an aesthetic perspective and he'd say exactly the same thing to men and women so it's nothing perverted or sexual. In the context, he's definitely not being out of line or rude.

It is rude, he doesn't have to say it. I've been a personal trainer and I would never comment on people's bodies . Maybe give them ideas for a plan if they asked for it but not unasked-for comments.

You honestly don't look that bad OP. If you want to lose weight you can, but you're not massive or anything. Big boobs isn't a bad thing. If you feel they're saggy you could have a bra with a lot of support to lift them. If you're in a swimsuit and you feel self-conscious (though honestly it really doesn't look that bad) you could choose one with extra support or wear a sports bra or something under it.

All of this is social conditioning which we should all try and dismantle and encourage each other to ignore anyway. But I know it's not that easy. xxx

[underneaththeash]

I think you look fine too - most people have put on a bit of weight during lock down. Lose half a stone and your boobs will get a bit smaller too.

[frostedviolets]

I could have written this and really relate to how you feel

I hate my body too, your breasts are nicer than mine, mine are huge (GG) but no volume whatsoever.
They just hang like nasty flat flabby pancakes 🤢

I was tiny when I met DH and now I’m not..
I won’t say how much I’ve put on but it’s a lot.

If you hate your body you only really have three options.

1. Accept it and be totally cool with it.
   

DH has also put on weight but he’s not bothered in the slightest.

1. Do as I do and feel full of self loathing and depression every day, avoid ever going into clothes shops because they will only depress you, berate yourself for how you’ve let yourself go while doing nothing about it and stuffing your face with feel good fattening things
   

1. Be motivated to change it into a shape you like.
   

Start exercising more and diet.

[WeAllHaveWings]

You have a lovely figure. Look up swim bras you can wear under your swimming suit.

[BobFleming]

The downside for everyone that has big boobs is that they will sag. You need scaffolding in the form of underwiring. And maybe less boob on show.

Apart from that - OK.

[planningaheadtoday]

You have a GORGEOUS figure!

What you need is a better swimsuit to support your assets. Bravissimo is your friend. Lots of choice.

Please don't worry about your appearance.

www.bravissimo.com/products/sorrento-tankini-top-sw393/#black-sw393blk

[CuppaZa]

*
Fishing for compliments. I'm not throwing you any bouquets. You don't need them. If you have the courage to upload a photo to a world wide site you're not lacking in confidence one little bit. *

This. What a PP said

[BirdyCheepCheep]

You look great, I'd love to have your figure.

[Whenwillthisbeover]

Honestly I’m shocked, you look great and I’d swap my pasty cellulite body with firm tits for your body right now.

[TheBiscuitStrikesBack]

Bloody hell love you look fabulous. I’ve not RTFT but damn, if I had them boobs I’d have them proudly out as much as possible.

[QueenOfPain]

You look fab and large, natural breasts are revered and coveted the world over.

Your husbands friend sounds like a fucking cock. Maybe his preoccupation with your weight is thinly veiled desire.

[GreenMintTeaMug]

Op - honestly. You look lovely. Really, hand on heart.

[HappyStep1]

If he says anything you should laugh and say "yeah, I had a baby/babies, you should try it".
Fuck that shit

[HappyStep1]

Oh and you look great btw

[Hopeful57]

You need boob support.

It will make a major difference. And that picture is imo just a picture of a woman's post birth body. It's not definitely not disgusting!

[AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken]

I saw the photo before I read your post and assumed you were going to be humble bragging about how fantastic your body is.
You look incredible!

[FizzFan]

You have a gorgeous figure! Please don’t listen to twats and listen to all of us instead!

But I also think a good quality wired swimsuit would work wonders, youd look amazing

[Babesinthewud]

Well your DH friend is a rude prick!!! Your weight is none of his business. Full Stop. It’s just rude!

And you look fabulous. People pay money to have they’d breast enlarged and you have them naturally.

I know it doesn’t matter what others say necessarily with regards to how you feel but you must take some comfort in the fact many people would kill for a figure like yours.

[VettiyaIruken]

That's a perfectly ordinary body you've got there. I challenge anyone to look like a supermodel in a pic taken at that angle!

You look FINE!!

Don't let some bloody idiot make you feel crap.

[Studycast]

Crikey, can't people ever just take the op at their word for once and just accept she is genuinely feeling crap and not stealth boasting at all?

I get this because I remember looking at a photo of myself some years back at the zoo with my dd and thinking I looked horrific; ten years on and a few stones heavier, I realised I didn't look horrific then and it would have been much healthier for me if I had had a more balanced view.

No one can know for sure how the op is feeling, so why not give her the benefit of the doubt fhs?