I just can't

[Notupforit]

I posted a few days ago about not wanting to go to a waterpark for my sister's birthday because I hate my post-baby body. We ended up going and had a nice time - except that I look back at all the photos and I look so disgusting that I just want to cry. I've realised that my breasts are by far the biggest problem. They're huge and saggy and I HATE them. I've attached a picture that my husband (who is also, apparently, the world's most incompetent photographer) took on the day so you can see what I mean. Believe it or not, I actually have a waist underneath the giant sagging balls of fat hanging off my body.
Now my husband has arranged for us to see his best friend and his fiancée tomorrow. She's obviously gorgeous and slim. They're very friendly but every single time we see them, he comments on my weight. He's very into fitness so he's not really even speaking from an aesthetic perspective and he'd say exactly the same thing to men and women so it's nothing perverted or sexual. In the context, he's definitely not being out of line or rude. It just means that I know he'll acknowledge and notice how fat and hideous I look.
I don't want anyone to see me but I can't just never leave the house. I just don't know what to do.

I think you look great and it's not a particularly flattering swim suit. Why are you hanging around with dickheads? Tell him his comments arent welcome. If you cant do that just dont go.

You look amazing!

I wish I looked like this post baby.

It is a pathetically sexist and stupid , cruel thing to do and he knows it.

Not a good angle to photograph any woman! Maybe look for a new swimsuit now the shops are opening.

You look wonderful OP (fellow new mum here)

Yup, agree with pp, fishing for compliments when you look normal, fine, whatever. If you don’t want your DH’s mate commenting on your weight, just tell him so.

not gunna lie as a straight woman my first thought was hot.

You look a lot better than many. A more structured and supportive top would make a huge difference. If you used to be an athlete then you’re probably never going to love your figure as it is now. But be grateful for what you have and just choose your clothes wisely.

@Notupforit

You have an amazing figure!!

Such a lovely waist too!

Your dh's friend is an ass.

You look fantastic actually but your breasts need more support - I spent a fortune on Rigby and Peller swimsuits and then bought this as a backup - it's better. Trust me, just buy it. Gets the boobs back where they belong and really good at showing off your waist. You don't have a body problem, you have a swimsuit problem!

www.marksandspencer.com/magic-padded-wrap-plunge-swimsuit/p/clp60429307?color=BLACK#intid=prodColourId-60429306

@BobFleming

Omg people would kill for your breasts!!

A compliment is one thing but the OP has said her breasts are 'huge and saggy'. I think it's a bit patronising and disingenuous to say this.

Yes. The photo is taken from a strange angle that accentuates her boobs and it is hard to really see her figure, but the OP obviously knows what it is like and doesn't like her body at the moment, so people coming on and saying she has a body others would dream of, as if she is Gisele or Beyonce, are patronising to the OP -she is not stupid.

For what it's worth OP, I think you have a body like lots of other women who have had children and are carrying extra weight compared to before, that would not even register with anyone else on the beach.
I do think your swimsuit is too small and really unflattering, so as others have said that should be where you start.

May I ask why you're bringing other people down to boost op, @laidbacklife.
Who are these 'many'.!!!! Who are you comparing her to.

Tell you DH you don't want to hear it anymore. He needs to stand up and tell his friend to not comment. Plus, it'll help him know that you're feeling insecure about your body and he can support you in loving yourself more. Part of being a good fitness instructor and member of that community is tact, and if he doesn't have any, that reflects his professionalism given you're not bringing up athleticism anymore. I think you have a great figure, and a tiny (and visible despite your husband's interesting photography skills) waist. I have similar breasts but visible ribcage and muscular legs and I look ridiculous. I'd kill for your curves, you look so feminine.

In terms of swimsuits, I go for the ones with underwire AND cup structure. Otherwise my breasts will fill any space, like some sort of cleavage black hole eating up everything in its way.

The friend’s behaviour is totally out of order. Why aren’t you standing up for yourself? Why isn’t your husband standing up for you? I don’t understand why you’re defending him. Would you want him talking to a friend of yours that way?

If you are worried about your boobs you could try a more supportive tankini then your short body (your words not mine!) wont mean your need to buy a petite size. You don’t need an underwired swimsuit but you might find a more supportive one than the one you are wearing in the photos looks better. The one your wearing has very thin shoulder straps, it is a bad choice for someone with big boobs.

You've got a lovely body.
You could do with a better swimsuit though.

Is “get a better swimsuit” the new “cancel the cheque”?

You look great! Better than my wobbly bits after 4 kids . İ would love to look like you

You are a very similar shape to me. That cossie looks too short in the body and its dragging you down. I've started going for bravissimo tankinis which are much more flattering.

I think you just need a swimsuit that's longer on the body

🎣

Haha, but seriously, just keep shopping until you find a comfortable and supportive swimming costume! You look fine, OP. And tell that bloke to bugger off 💁🏼‍♀️

so people coming on and saying she has a body others would dream of, as if she is Gisele or Beyonce, are patronising to the OP -she is not stupid
That's not what that phrase means though is it, it's not like saying "ooh you look like a model" it is absolutely true that many women envy other women's bodies when the woman being envied is probably quite down on her own body... etc etc.
I would likely envy the bodies belonging to 70% of posters on this thread, doesn't mean any of you look like Beyonce.

You need some high waisted bikini bottoms and a supportive bikini top, doesn't have to be underwired. Look at that figure, your waist, show it off!

I read something somewhere that when you are 40,you,will,look back on the weight you were when you first started to diet and realise you were prefect. I’m nearly 60 and know the truth of this for myself and one day you will too.

You have a beautiful figure and anyone trying to undermine you is doing it for their own reasons. It is nothing to do with your wonderful body shape.