To ask your opinion on slapping kids as discipline?

[Sizedoesmatter]

Just curious to see what the general opinion is on using slapping or 'spanking' (I despise that word) children?

Mine is a very hard no. I don't agree with it in the slightest and I hate the argument of 'I was slapped and I turned out fine', in my opinion you didn't, because if you turned out fine you wouldn't be slapping your children. However 3 seperate sets of parents out of our friend group do use slapping as discipline, so it's obviously still quite common.

Is it ever OK to slap a child? Do you think it's an effective form of discipline? I got my fair share of whacks with the brush off the dustpan and brush or the wooden spoon. I can remember running from the house one day when my mother grabbed the sweeping brush during an argument. Can't say those experiences done me any good. Others may think different?

No....unless you are stopping a child from injuring themselves seriously. Then perhaps a hand smack.

I never understand this comment. If your child is in danger of seriously injuring themselves that is lack of supervision from the parent. Smacking them for your own shortcomings is ridiculous.

When I had my first child my family and friends laughed at my no smacking rule. 'Oh you just wait' they said 'until he's really naughty'. He's 22 now and his brother is 18 and neither of them have ever had so much as a tap.

There are ways to parent and discipline that are effective and don't require corporal punishment.

Everyone will say no but it is a cultural thing

No it’s not. It’s an abuse thing, end of,

I’m surprised at some people’s response. There is such thing as context. There’s a difference between slapping a child in their face or getting a slipper and repeated beating a child that is unacceptable behaviour and that is my idea of abuse. However there is a big difference between a child deliberately not listening even when they have been told numerous times** to stop doing something. I’m a firm believer there is only so many times you can tell a child and explain not to do something. I have smacked my child before and I do not view this as abuse a smack on the hand will not leave him with horrific childhood memories there’s absolutely no need. My child does know if he ever has been smacked that is it for being naughty and prior he would have been warned numerous times. It is not a daily occurrence by any means. An occasional slap on the hand will not leave any child with horrific childhood memories.

I wonder if that is why society is the way it is today so many rules as everything is so politically correct. Schools for example so many problems and rude children why? (Lack of discipline) from parents and teachers fearing for using words such as “naughty”. In my primary school we would not of dared to back chat our teachers and that was growing up in the 90s.

@ShebaShimmyShake

The more you praise good behaviour, the less punishment you need for bad. Sometimes just not praising bad behaviour is all it takes.

Do you smackers approve of other parents hitting your children when they're on playdates? If they're at the end of their tethers and so on?

If my child behaved badly when we was out and they continued to do it I would warn them if it continues we will be going home.

Absolutely not ever ok. It’s just a display of power over them to put them in their place but one day that won’t work any more when they are as physically strong as you. Its what people resort to sadly when communication has plummeted and they’ve lost control of the situation which I get does happen and it’s bloody hard but the respect for your child and their respect and right to safety comes above anything else.

Repeated myself in the last sentence sorry for the typo

All smacking does is show lack of control and lets children know that it is acceptable to hit. Perhaps this is the reason for poor behaviour in schools?

My child does know if he ever has been smacked that is it for being naughty and prior he would have been warned numerous times.

Translation: I deserve to be hit.

What about when they're older and they are being annoying or doing something someone else deems annoying? Would it be ok for a friend to smack them? Their partner? Their coworker? Their boss?

"I’m a firm believer there is only so many times you can tell a child and explain not to do something."

Would you use smacking with adults with learning disabilities or older people with dementia who may repeatedly do things that are undesirable?

Smacking a child is either a lazy form of parenting using quick easy don't need to think about it physical punishment, or it is a concerning lack of control from the parent.

Either way it is wrong to smack.

I wonder if that is why society is the way it is today so many rules as everything is so politically correct. Schools for example so many problems and rude children why? (Lack of discipline) from parents and teachers fearing for using words such as “naughty”.

The problem comes when parents are too lazy to think of, work on, or ask for help on alternative ways to teach their child to behave and they raise children with a lack of discipline and respect.

I really disagree with smacking. Adults aren't allowed to go round smacking other adults, so why do it to children who are completely at our mercy?

My in laws have smacked their grandchildren since they were about 18 months old. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. We are supposed to teach children how to behave. What does smacking them teach them? That it's ok to hit other people when not doing as they're told? It's ok to hit people when you're angry?

@Parker231

All smacking does is show lack of control and lets children know that it is acceptable to hit. Perhaps this is the reason for poor behaviour in schools?

Are you serious? I’m not suggesting teachers should be allowed to hit children and go back to them days. But you can not argue that in today’s society there is a lot more children and teenagers that have no respect for adults especially in a school setting. Teachers I know 2 that have given teaching up, high school kids for this reason and the parents of the child being a problem also. Back in the days children didn’t feel so comfortable to speak to people in a rude manner why was this? PS sorry to go slightly off topic.... there was a story not long ago and a boy coughed in someone’s face and shout coronavirus!!. This is the terrible society we live in today and I do personally believe that the majority stems from a child not being told firmly from small! And probably if they got a smack on the hand now and again it wouldn’t of got to this out of control stage....

I’m a firm believer there is only so many times you can tell a child and explain not to do something.

That's where a lot of people go "wrong". What happens either they give in, or explode after the 10th time which is confusing as fuck for a child , especially a young one. After all there was no consequence after the first,second,third etc.There is no need to repeat yourself many times. I say something once, I repeat myself in case she didn't hear,wasn't paying attention etc(normally I hen I ask her to do something rather than stop doing something) then I give a warning and always follow through If I'm ignored after that. Obviously this is pretty simplistic and won't work for every child in every situation, but as a general rule it works, including at work(school).

@Underhisi

"I’m a firm believer there is only so many times you can tell a child and explain not to do something."

Would you use smacking with adults with learning disabilities or older people with dementia who may repeatedly do things that are undesirable?

I said there’s such thing as context. Also just because I have give. My child an occasional smack does not make me a bad mother. Nor does it make me an abusive mother of any kind at all. I have no criminal record I also have an occupational working with the public.

I can see that I seemed to be out numbered. I do still consider myself a good parent and person.

@Shinebright72 - perhaps behaviour in schools is bad as some children see that hitting is acceptable as that is what they have seen at home. Smacking is never acceptable - there are no exceptions.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

I’m a firm believer there is only so many times you can tell a child and explain not to do something.

That's where a lot of people go "wrong". What happens either they give in, or explode after the 10th time which is confusing as fuck for a child , especially a young one. After all there was no consequence after the first,second,third etc.There is no need to repeat yourself many times. I say something once, I repeat myself in case she didn't hear,wasn't paying attention etc(normally I hen I ask her to do something rather than stop doing something) then I give a warning and always follow through If I'm ignored after that. Obviously this is pretty simplistic and won't work for every child in every situation, but as a general rule it works, including at work(school).

I don’t think I’m going wrong and we never get to the stage of where I have to say something ten times. I don’t know why this is being taken out of context.

I don't understand why you would hit someone when you don't need to.

[quote Parker231]@Shinebright72 - perhaps behaviour in schools is bad as some children see that hitting is acceptable as that is what they have seen at home. Smacking is never acceptable - there are no exceptions.[/quote]
What your saying doesn’t add up though. Because people used to hit their children far more frequently and children and teenagers had A LOT MORE respect for general society.

I’m happy to agree to disagree.

I don’t think I’m going wrong and we never get to the stage of where I have to say something ten times

But why does it get to the point where you have to smack?

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble I am the mother and I am a good mother as I have wrote already. There is such thing as context I do not believe my child is being abused because he may of got an occasional smack on the hand. It’s a form of discipline.

Parents with little or no self control need to get some professional help if they can’t control their children’s behaviour without resorting to smacking.

I admitted I smacked DD in the past and why. What I'm trying to understand is why you feel it's the only solution, the one thing that "works".

I don't think children and teenagers did have a lot more respect. Most children and teenagers now are considerate and reasonable people.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble did you read what I wrote or did you just assume? I said it’s not a daily occurrence. You didn’t ask me my other methods? I never stated that it is the only method I use it is not. Just because some don’t agree that is fine. I’m sure there’s things you may do which I may not.

@Underhisi

I don't think children and teenagers did have a lot more respect. Most children and teenagers now are considerate and reasonable people.

Where are you living Mars?!