Working from home with DH - permanently

[Wfhconundrum]

This isn’t quite an Aibu really but would love any advice.

I work from home - it’s my own small business and renting an office wouldn’t be financially beneficial.

Dh has just been told that they are downsizing his office space so basically in the future he will only need to go into the office maybe once or twice a month.

I have an office space in the corner of our dining area - dh has been working from the dining table - we are literally about 2ft away from each other. No issues in terms of getting along etc, but it’s sometimes been tricky where say, one of us has a zoom call or whatever.

However now it’s looking to be an ongoing thing in starting to worry that spending literally all day every day together probably isn’t going to be that healthy. As I say, we’ve been fine but worry a bit about this.

We do have space for an office upstairs - but I hate it and so does dh, we both like where we are (though I want my bloody dining table back!)

Does anyone else work within close proximity like this? Any tips for staying sane?

@Frenchfancy

One tip I read for arranging a home office is to put the desk as you would in an office at work, facing the door/room rather than the wall/window. It is more conducive to working.

This is a really good one. I spent the firs 6 months with my desk against the wall and me staring into the corner. I don’t know why it took me so long to realise that it was a shame to spend 9 hours a day looking at a wall, but I eventually twigged and got a new desk that I could put coming out from the wall. I now sit looking out into the room and it feels much better.

Been working from home for years sharing the same office space. Both wear headphones. Problem solved.

@Wtfconundrum

I do have a proper workspace with decent storage. I’ve worked from home for four years!! Dh however doesn’t.

You don’t, you’re working in the dining room!

You can’t run a business from a dining room permanently.

If you both rub along well sharing a space then if you turned the guest room into a double office you might not feel so isolated up there?

DH and I both hated working in our spare room office, but it was actually much better when we were both there.

I also stuck a mini fridge in there full of cold drinks (I don't drink tea or coffee) and that stopped the wandering to the kitchen. It felt more 'officey' with a colleage and a fridge.

Sometimes even now I'm not working DH encourages me to do my family tree stuff, or even bills and stuff, in there sometimes because he finds he gets into work brain easier with someone else tapping on a keyboard.

Working in the dining room isn't a good solution long term for either of you in an open plan house

@TatianaBis read my posts - it’s an office space in a large open plan area (yes a dining area as don’t know what else to call it). Why would setting my office space up in a bedroom suddenly make it any different?

Obviously renting an office would probably make things more official - but that’s a needless expense.

I’ve read your posts thanks. Because it’s a work space as opposed to a work/domestic space which is used for other things.

But hey it’s your life if you want a messy dining room with work gubbins that’s up to you.

Personally I wouldn’t want a computer in a dining room. I find it far more effective and relaxing to have all work stuff in one room with built in furniture fit for purpose, than piling up work documents in a dining area.

I am getting a garden office and the firm that installs them also rents them, that might be an option even if you are renting the house, as they will take it away again when you leave the tenancy? You could ask the landlord.

At the moment I work in the dining room and DH works in the kitchen. There is a door inbetween. DS is in his bedroom upstairs for lessons and sometimes I go in there when I have a long call. Sometimes DH goes upstairs to do calls too, especially as the kitchen is joined to the utility room but there is no door, so if the washing machine is on and then someone decides to make an unplanned call to him, that can be a pain!

We've not decided who gets the garden room yet but it is likely to be DH as he takes up more room than I do with paperwork etc.

Obviously renting an office would probably make things more official - but that’s a needless expense

you could also try a co-working area, they are not very expensive when you just rent a desk a few times a month and they appear to be re-opening where I am. Or when libraries reopen you could go and work there as they ease their restrictions? I have done that on occasion when our internet connection has gone down.

One tip I read for arranging a home office is to put the desk as you would in an office at work, facing the door/room rather than the wall/window. It is more conducive to working

but if you face the window it is better for light for video calls.

Oh just see you take a lot of calls - maybe the library isn't the answer then! But for your DH?

Though, the "quiet study area" in our local library is right by the enquiries desk, so not very quiet at all!

Technically this is way more than my salary at moment. BUT is cheaper than I expected, nonetheless.

Has to be separate rooms. Partner and I have worked from home together in different rooms but swapping half way to get a change of scene.

It works and often we don't see each much all day.

If this was for longer term I would worry about cabin fever - it's good to see other people at work.

I wonder if that is easy to recreate?

Wow the garden office would work financially but just would work with our garden.

@TatianaBis I know what you’re imagining - like my old dining room - a single room. My desk space is a bit more like a space within a space with shelving above and book shelves behind etc. I think I may have been misleading with “corner” (though it is in the corner as that’s next to the Wondows).

Been doing similar for years - you NEED separate spaces. Some upstairs room has to become one of your offices - a desk in your bedroom or something like that. Otherwise you have to carry on as you are, which for most couples would be a prelude to divorce.

No your described it fairly clearly. Sounds quite like my aunt and uncle’s house which has a study area in the open plan dining area, which I always thought most odd. Who wants to eat next to a work area. Or work next to the dining table. It means you never get away from the work space. Personally I think it’s important to have good boundaries with home working. You need to be able to close the door and switch off.

Just to say adobe CC is liceneces for two machines, if that helps. I'm curious what work you do with such expensive software subscriptions

DH works mostly from home. He has an office in the attic space.
If I work from home, which at the moment is all my working time, I work in the dining room. Currently with DD also home schooling she's in the dining room with me. We actually work well alongside each other. I couldn't be in the same room as DH as he takes a lot of calls/meetings on the phone. We also work in similar fields and he wants to talk to me if I'm nearby (I like to keep that brief )
OP in your circumstances it makes no sense at all for one of you not to use the upstairs office.
As for how we arrange this, we both work, do our own thing for lunch, I walk the dog, he often goes for a run. We all get together for food in the evening.

DH and I both worked from home for 10
Years. He then went into an office for about a year, but is now back home and per recent company announcements that may never change. We have separate offices with doors that close. Mine is in a forced daylight cellar, but it has good lighting and the bonus of being the coolest room in the house which makes me happy. Dh’s is a dining room that was converted to a walled office. We have proper desks and equipment. Computers provided by our respective companies, desks and chairs by us. The only thing we share is the household printer which is in a 3rd location. We mostly ignore one another during the day, though a quick chat is acceptable as long as you knock first. Sometimes we have lunch together, but not often.

To the person asking about docking stations....
I don’t work directly on my laptop. I use a monitor and keyboard. It’s a much more sound setup from an ergonomic perspective.

We've both worked at home for years, for about 2 we shared the same office. We ended up moving house to a cheaper part of the country so we could afford to each have a separate office, seemed a better idea then a divorce .
It worked ok initially but never having a moment apart most days took its toll and I just felt judged (even though he wasn't at all judging) with how I had my section of the office, how productive I was etc

@TatianaBis well it’s worked just fine for me for years (in various iterations). That’s my issue with upstairs I think - I don’t want to be behind a closed door - it’s not something I’ve ever liked.

Sorry if this has been mentioned already but if your DH is employed then he should start by seeing if they’ll pay for stuff like furniture and wrist rests - they may well do.

It wouldn't work for us.

OH has been furloughed for 3 months- just went back two weeks ago.
I work full time from home.
WE haven't enjoyed being together all day every day.

I have the opportunity to employ my OH as my business is booming, but he doesn't want to work for me.

@beingsunny thanks CC is the one I was most bothered about actually as I remembered their licence being strict. A lot of the others are cloud based subscriptions and you’d be amazed how quickly they all add up! £250 here £150 there etc.