To think you don't love your pets half as much once you have kids

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

We have a dog. We had him a couple of years before I had a baby. We'd had a previous dog together and my parents had a dog when I was in my teens. But I just don't love my dog like I did before I had kids.

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us, but I just don't have that love I had before I had kids. It's hard to explain, is it just me .. AIBU?

No it's not just you, i absolutely adored my 2 cats, like obsessed, and then I had my baby and she just had to come first. My cats have been spoilt so are bit of a handful and I'm not going to lie, it would be so much easier if they weren't here. I do love them still and there's not even a bit of me that would get rid. But yeah, that love changed once my baby got here.

@DDIJ I think you may find that your mother tried very hard to push her grief down in order to continue parenting you to the best of her ability. Even if she did tell you you weren't the most important thing in her life, I would have my suspicions that she was subconsciously protecting herself from any further possible grief.

Please rest assured however that a lifelong love for your children isn't a new fad that will die away along with avocado toast.

My dog is as much more loved as my dc. He is one of us and completes our life more than I ever thought possible for a pet. Sometimes I look at him and want to cry with happiness.

@Silence jesus christ

A close friend of mine has this, she has 2 dogs who she doted on until she had kids. I feel a bit bad for them, they don’t get the walks/attention that they need really.

You cant help how you feel sadly.
But to answer your question, no - I have 3 children, I love my dog with all my heart, he is family and I would be utterly lost without him.

I love my pets (dog & cat) and they want for absolutely nothing but they are absolutely secondary to my children.

Losing beloved pets is extremely painful but it doesn’t compare to losing a child. We expect to outlive our pets, they are companions and we know they have a short lifespan (unless you have an African Grey or a tortoise or something). We expect to lose them, part of us is prepared for it.

Some posts on here have been bonkers. I love my cats, I have 3 furry friends now, but I would never claim that they come before my DDs (now 11 and 8). If one of my DDs had turned out to be allergic to cats, I would have rehomed them. (Thankfully that didn't have to happen.)

My DSis loves dogs (I really like them myself, but think they're too much of a tie, and my DH is allergic anyway), but when her beloved Labrador Retriever was elderly, she couldn't cope with their lively toddler (2) and started to snap at him, which became a safety risk. She was around 13 years of age and had become arthritic, and the vet advised my DSis that she was unlikely to adjust and should be PTS.

It was a very sad time and we all met together to spread her DDog's ashes. It was very sad, but she'd had a very full life.

I see that no it be had posted since Monday, so it was on the way to becoming a zombie thread. But there was a link to this thread, so I decided to add my own contribution, as someone who has always loved having pets.

I was totally obsessed with my pets (not dog or cat ) took them camping, on picnics etc! But, when the kids came along it was like they used up the love. I still cared for them, cleaned them and cuddled them but overnight, it was just not the same. I was very sad when they died.

Now, after a long gap, we have pets again and they are deeply loved by us all. I think babies and toddlers just take so much out of you it's easy to understand how the relationship changes.

@Cauterize that’s actually worrying if you’re being serious. Dogs don’t process emotions in the way humans do, you know, being canines and not humans.
Your child will be emotionally damaged picking up on that.

This thread is so weird 😳 of course you continue to love your pets but obviously you love your kids more intensely, you’re programmed to do that. I’m sure not one of the posters giving the OP shit would save their pet before their kids.

Here's another way of looking at it. Growing up, we had a dog who had a litter of puppies and a couple of cats who had litters of kittens. Who came first for them, their human owners or their puppies/kittens? I can tell you that the humans didn't come close! (Apart when it came to being fed of course!! )

It's about the instinct to protect our young. The only difference is that human children take a lot more time to become independent than puppies or kittens.

Nobody loves a dog as much as they love their children.

It’s because the love you have for your children is unlike any other.

It’s a billion light years more from anything else. So anything including love for a pet, would simply seem incomparable to the love for your child

It’s not because you don’t love you’re dog as much... it’s just you love your kids far far more!

I have 2 children and 1 cat. I adore them all. I worship that bloody cat! I prefer her to mu kids sometimes, she talks a lot less incessantly than they do I see her as my third child.

YANBU OP, but on MN you will have a lot of people insist they love their pets MORE than their children. Unfortunately some people just shouldn't have kids.

I don't feel anything for my children.

That's a very sad statement. Infact your whole post is worrying. You should consider speaking to someone.

YABU I adore my animals and kid

I kinda know where you're coming from OP. I think I feel the same but its not that I love my pet less, it's just that the love for DS is so massive that it seems less.

We were a little team, me, the dog and the cat when I was at home with 3 under 5.
They would all line up for snacks but mostly the pets were my allies, the dog would even herd them all

My mum got a dog after she had us children and it's very clear..... she loves the dog far
more than any of us!

I don't feel anything for my children.

This is really sad and I hope your DC never know that they're second place to your dog.

Urgh these comments about before you have a baby your pet is your baby.... 🤮

Total bullshit.

A pet’s not a baby. I suspect the only people who don’t love their pet as much post-kids are the idiots who didn’t realise that. We always knew our pet was not a baby substitute and love him just the same now we have an actual baby.

My pets are my pets. They have good lives, I feel sad when they die but they arent in the same level as my children/family members. They are pets.

How old are your children ? I found I loved my pets more once they could safely interact with my kids and be their best friends too, when the kids were really little pets were just more work x