To think you don't love your pets half as much once you have kids

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

We have a dog. We had him a couple of years before I had a baby. We'd had a previous dog together and my parents had a dog when I was in my teens. But I just don't love my dog like I did before I had kids.

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us, but I just don't have that love I had before I had kids. It's hard to explain, is it just me .. AIBU?

Yabu I definitely love my dog more than my kids.

I love my dog more, she loves me unconditionally unlike my teens.

@Llamazoom and @raspberryk, can't you see how circular that is though? You love your dog more because you can't have 'unconditional' love from your children. Not only is that placing unrealistic expectations on your human children but it also makes your love for your children conditional. If it's not nice to place conditions on your love for something, then how is it a acceptable to do just that to your own children? You're also placing conditions on your love for your dogs.

If you overheard your children saying they don't love you as much as their PlayStation, would that not hurt? Being completely honest with yourself? You're very lucky that your dog doesn't dislike you because he or she realises that you can't love anything unconditionally.

"*once over-heard someone say
**
“Before you have a baby your dog is your baby, After you have a baby your dog is just a dog”

(She was talking about her own dog)
At the time I remember being a bit 🤨

But now I totally get it

YANBU OP, You’re dog is still well cared for and loved - but I don’t think you should fell any less because you don’t prioritise him over your children*"

^This. OP, don't take some of the totally batshit responses on here to heart!

@JuanNil I was being flippant, of course I don’t love my dog more than my kids, the dog rarely pisses me off though, do you have teenagers? Nah, they don’t love their games consoles more than me, a play station doesn’t provide food or a taxi service I took this to be a light hearted thread, if it’s not then I shouldn’t come on MN late after a couple of glasses of wine.

We love our pets more now we have children and our children have grown up loving our pets and in turn our pets adore us and our children. I can never understand people who seem to stop loving their pets once babies come along. It makes me so sad.

@Llamazoom oh god this thread is the opposite of light hearted. It's depressing as hell! I don't blame OP for not coming back to this one. I apologise for not picking up on your sarcasm . No teens yet, mine are turning two next month. Until their teens I shall remain blissfully ignorant and assume they'll grow up to adore me

My phone has more photos of my dog than my children

Not read the full thread, just the first page, but I knew exactly the kind of responses you were going to get OP. Never in a million years would I ever love an animal as much as my child, and I feel genuinely sorry for the DC of people who do. Imagine your mum loving a bloody dog as much as she loves you!? Utterly bizarre. I could never have though such a mentality existed until I joined Mumsnet..
YANBU you are just being a normal, loving parent, who recognised that pets are not children.

That to me is like saying you don't love your first child as much when you have a second child. Very sad.

This comment is so stupid trying to compare a child with an animal. They are completely different in every possible way. 🙄

Imagine your mum loving a bloody dog as much as she loves you!?

I don't need to imagine, my mum does! In fact she probably prefers the dog to me, I've not hard feeling about it. I prefer my dog to most people I know 🤷‍♂️

Imagine your mum loving a bloody dog as much as she loves you!?

I always thought my Mum loved her cats more than she did me!

My mum loves us all the same. She admits to it! Am I scarred for life? No! I also love my dog just as much as love my children. It's a different type of love but I were to compare them the "amount of love" is the same just different type.

I love my pets even more, because I see how much my DC love them.

I feel so sorry for your dog OP.

I agree too, but then a lot of people seem to put dogs before humans 🤷‍♀️

@JuanNil teens are much like toddlers with their demands and tantrums, not bad kids at all but raging hormones and lockdown are not a good mix, our dog is as good as therapy for all of us, if anyone needs space they take the dog out for a walk. I agree, some posts on here are sad. I’ve always had dogs, I had 2 when I had my first child, I didn’t love them any less, I didn’t see them as baby substitutes but much loved pets.

@Llamazoom I'm looking forward to introducing a pet to the family when mine are a bit older and we can all bond. I also think it's great to teach responsibility in the form of feeding, affection and scooping poop . I can just hear myself now, "you think that's bad, you should have seen some of your nappies when you were younger!"

@JuanNil when they start nursery might be a good time to get a pet, You will have the time alone with a pet to train it. I’ve found training dogs with small children around quite hard, lots of little hands feeding treats and a chorus of SIT and STAY, poor dog gets confused. Animals are great for teaching kids responsibility, they are keen to feed and play with a dog but not so keen on poo picking the garden!

The cats have done it again. They have persuaded humans that they are as important as their own children and should be given higher status in the family. We all know the cats would reciprocate this if it came to their kittens. Like hell they would. Their overriding priority would be their kittens with no thought for humans. They must think we're crazy.

I’m not a dog person particularly, love cats more. But they don’t even come close to my kids and grandchildren.
Your dog doesn’t love you. It can’t it’s a dog. It hasn’t got the mental capacity for love.

The cats have done it again. They have persuaded humans that they are as important as their own children and should be given higher status in the family.

Cats have never got over themselves after being deified by the Ancient Egyptians

I would not equate losing a pet with losing a child any more, not because I love my children at all, but because most people seem to really like their children nowadays.

DDIJ are you ok?

@Stuckforthefourthtime,

That post made me lose the will to live!
I couldn't even comment 😃

I was devastated when my child was born because the dog was aggressive towards the baby and I thought I was going to have to get rid of the dog. The dog went and stayed with family and gradually reintroduced each day to get her used to the baby. Eventually she got used to the baby and came home and has been fine since. However I had such guilt over the dog being sent away at the start I was heartbroken. I love my dog just the same as before.