To be fucking sick of these kids?

[Smashtastic]

I swear I am on the edge of having a breakdown.
I am an introvert and I need to be ALONE. I have not been alone for four months. Not once.

They whine, they squeel, the beat each other up and scream, they cry constantly, they hate everything I suggest and tantrum over going for walks (that I suggest so that I can try to get some personal physical space away from them)

I cannot cope with this anymore. I don't want to. Right now I regret having children. I could seriously out them in the car and dump them somewhere.

Please tell me I am not alone?

So you are working full time and looking after your kids? Yeah I be pissed too. You have a husband problem though not a kids problem.

@Chesneyhawkes1

I'll swap you your dogs for my kids for say 8/12 weeks?

I might want them back by then and you will appreciate your dogs much more.

I sympathise, op.

Is there anyone who can have them for you maybe one day a week or even half a day or just as a one-off from the 4th of July as we are allowed to do this then? I know it's not a long-term solution but it might help you to have a bit of respite.

What was it like before lockdown? Did your DH help more then or was it just the fact they were in school gave you a bit of time away even if you were at work? Is the 4 yo in YR, could they go back to school?

This won't last forever but it sounds like you need to do some talking to your DH.

As they say on MN, you don't have a children problem; you have a husband problem.

Your husband needs to step up and be present and act like a responsible parent. If he’s not working during the week and you are it should absolutely fall to him to sort them out whilst you are working, then after that you should get equal down time. He’s not pulling his weight and that’s the problem.

I do need to speak to H (he is NOT DH right now) I know I do but I do not have the headspace for this right now.

The kids are sleeping and we have formed a support bubble with my mum who lives alone (can't help with childcare as she is disabled) so I think I'm going to have a shower and go there for an hour. I won't be alone but she will just let me BE for a short while.

The last three days of super oven hot weather I think had pushed me over the edge.

Fucking hell, he sounds like a useless pile of wank. Does he have any redeeming qualities? I mean, not being able to responsibly parent 2 non-toddler children is very fucking shite.

I am an introvert and I need to be ALONE. I have not been alone for four months. Not once

Same here.

Every year I go on retreat for a week.

I put a sticky label on my jumper. "I am in silence. thank you" so that nobody speaks to me at all. The only speech I participate in is morning and evening prayer, and I just keep out of the way anyone else there.

It's LOVELY!

I didn't get away last year and was desperate to get away this - I can't STAND being with people all of the time. We aren't a particularly nosey family, and the neighbours aren't bad either, but just the PROXIMITY is making me ill. I am so irritable and edgy and find myself weeping and not even being aware of it - when I'm chopping carrots, or reading or whatever. It's just when the tears drip onto whatever is in front of me that I realise.

I feel that I am unravelling, and I'm starting to hate the sight of everyone.

I'm in the same boat here OP, the last 2 weeks have been the worst as DP has gone back to working away from home, so I am left with ds (6 with SEN) and dbaby Monday to Friday while WFH. As time has gone on ds behaviour has got worse.
A colleague suggested I should get noise cancelling headphones and I actually think I might and wear them while I work. I'll still be able to see the kids but might get some much needed silence to be able to concentrate.

@HavelockVetinari

How much for you to arrange for the guild of assassins to intervene on my behalf?

I hear you and you're not alone . I've had enough and I've only got the one. The whining, the moaning and the mess! Oh and groundhog days of cooking and cleaning. I love my son but I cannot wait to go back to working out of the house. I am losing my mind. He doesn't even sleep through properly so no break even at night.
I keep trying to remember that he's suffering too and his little world has been turned upside down. That lasts for about 5 mins then he does something, anything to get my attention and I want to scream. I just want to be on my own. Not sure what the solution is but you're not the only one, if that's in anyway a consolation. I suspect a lot of parents are feeling similar too but some won't talk about it.

You are not alone in feeling this

@nogooddeedgoesunpunished

It does make me feel less alone, though I am sorry to see others going through the same.

OP, I'm so sorry. I hear you. It's Friday, I'm absolutely bloody done in. At the weekend, at least I know I can hand childcare responsiblitiies to their dad, and have time to myself. I agree that your DH/partner needs to step up, that's rubbish behaviour from him.

While I fully appreciate the murderous hell that is persuading kids to go for a walk, as soon as we are outside everything is better. I mean, within about ten seconds everyone is calmer. It's the only thing that has kept me sane some days.

I cannot believe how utterly shit your H attitude is, what does he think will happen if you lose your job?

Same here, was checking the other day how much it costs to file in for divorce. Similar age/mix to yours plus a 2 months old baby. And I’m a pretty bad introvert, used to wfh on Fridays to get some quiet time. Close proximity of people 100% of my time drains my energy badly. It’s still quite bright in the evening so I just go for a walk at 9pm when kids are in beds.

@GarlicMonkey

Oh flower, I hear you. Mine are teens now & I thank goodness for that every day. I wouldn't have been able to cope with 3 months locked in with younger ones.

I'm genuinely in awe of you. You deserve a medal... & unlimited gin... & all the money in the world.

This with bells on!!!!

Honestly, these months with my DC have made me grateful all over again that I divorced their father. They disappear for a few days, I can read a book, get on with complicated work, have sex with DP, tidy the house or just do nothing, and then they come back when I’m just about ready to miss them.

If he just works weekends and you work weekdays then he should be looking after the children while you work

Surely that makes sense

You have a DH problem. We are both WFH and mine takes the brunt of the childcare in the day.

You would be better off without your husband.
At least you would get weekends to yourself.
Lazy bastard.
Who cant even be bothered to make sure his own kids dont drown?
Ffs this is basic stuff.

Absolutely. I have 3 primary age and they do all of the things you describe. I’ve not had any time alone either in 4 months. Trying to WFH and homeschool and 3. It’s a nightmare. Can’t wait for that first day back to school

Me too. Literally sat in tears as I just can’t cope anymore and feel like such a crap mum. I’m fed up of the fighting, the tantrums and listening to them whine. My life is ruled by this tantrum throwing relentless 7.5 year old. Just not equipped to do this.

Ugh it sounds awful. I too need space and peace and quiet and rarely get it. Mine come and ask me for food or drink whilst I'm in the shower...and DH is in the kitchen!

DH is also an introvert. Before DC we'd both just sit reading or whatever in companionable silence. Post DC, when they're finally asleep we chat for a bit then I shuffle off to read in bed and DH watches TV/lifts weights in a different room.