To be fucking sick of these kids?

[Smashtastic]

I swear I am on the edge of having a breakdown.
I am an introvert and I need to be ALONE. I have not been alone for four months. Not once.

They whine, they squeel, the beat each other up and scream, they cry constantly, they hate everything I suggest and tantrum over going for walks (that I suggest so that I can try to get some personal physical space away from them)

I cannot cope with this anymore. I don't want to. Right now I regret having children. I could seriously out them in the car and dump them somewhere.

Please tell me I am not alone?

[SomewhereEast]

I don't really have much to add except to say that I have two DSs almost exactly the same ages as your two, and if DH wasn't stepping up & doing his fair share I would've literally gone insane by now. You are really not alone in struggling. Also don't be ashamed to get on to your GP if necessary - anti-depressants etc obviously aren't a longterm solution but they might be the thing that gets you through the next few months. I've been off them for a while (had PND with both mine) but have opted to go back on just to get through this.

Just to add, I'm another one who can't cope with the idea of schools not going back fulltime in September. I think I'd actually riot....in a reasonably polite Centrist Mum way obviously .

[ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal]

Get them a tablet each. Seriously, i was on the verge of ANOTHER breakdown (genuinely) and felt like you did most of the time, when a relative bought them a tablet each, which i was resistant to as they're not 4 yet. But i gave in, and it's the best parenting decision i ever made I started them off on half an hour a day. It didn't take long for that to get stretched to an hour and a half max a day 😆 during that time, they sit quietly on the sofa not bugging me and i can do whatever i want. It's like an oasis of calm in the middle of the day.

[Home42]

I got divorced. It’s great. No kids 50% of the time! 😂

[Meatshake]

Mine are almost 2 and 4. They are on opposing sleep schedules. The 4 year old is a whiney moo right now. I feel ya.

[GenevaL]

Ignore Karmastar. These are your private thoughts and you are entitled to them (and I understand them a 100%!). It sounds like it would be a lot easier if your H stepped up rather than saying ‘I don’t want to’ which is staggeringly selfish. Sounds like you’d be perfectly entitled to give him a roasting imo.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

I would seriously consider emptying the paddling pool and going to your mum’s to work a few days a week.

If you could afford it, you could get 2 kindle tablets for kids for £200. It appears you can pay monthly for 5 months too.

[Smashtastic]

@KarmaStar slightly concerned that you have jumped to me actually TELLING my children how I felt. Do you assume every struggling parent is emotionally abusive?

[cabinfever2]

I feel you op! Home every day for 14 weeks , working full time from home and I love them dearly but it's so hard! Constant mess, feeding them, breaking up fights and OH deciding now he must work more than he ever has before which is fine except it means I am doing it all alone 😓

[sunflowersandtulips50]

I feel for your DC, i appreciate the current situation is difficult however your problem isnt your DC. Your lazy ass DH is, your not working as a team and sadly your primary focus is on hating your DC. Refocus your anger on the other adult in the house

[KarmaStar]

I really do feel for you and as pp have suggested get df to spend time with them.
But,please don't let the boys hear you say you don't want them.it will stick in their minds for a lifetime.
Once heard it cannot be unheard.
Good luck!

[Smashtastic]

Feeling much better this morning, spent a good couple of hours at my mum's last night and managed to get a fairly decent sleep as it has turned cooler here.

H is at work all day and the house is calmer.

I hear what people are saying about computer games but we only have one computer - my work laptop so their access to online ect is very limited.

It's traditional (hard work) activities here. I make playdough and they make an almighty mess with it. l try to set them up with a craft and they just chop it all into tiny pieces/cover everything in glue/paint things they aren't supposed to/fall out because the other one is touching their stuff/looking at them/breathing.
They have lots of stuff to play with a proper built sandpit and a slide in the garden but the 7yo has declared this all 'boring' and 4yo has started to copy his behaviour.

I don't really want to go into too much detail re H and our family situation as it would all be very outing but I know he is struggling too.
I think I take on an awful lot of responsibility for everyone's health and happiness (I have heard this referred to as mental load or wifework?)

I think H knows he is disengaged and feels guilty hense projecting onto me that I'm overprotective ect. I will speak to him but I need to find a time when we are calm and open and this isn't likely to be for a while.

[birdy124]

Your husband works part time but doesn't do the childcare while your working? WTF! I would just leave for the whole day and put my phone on airplane mode.

Although him leaving them unsupervised in the pool is outrageous!!!

this whole generation is going to be addicted to Minecraft

[Khadernawazkhan]

Another man-child. We need a massive gear shift in maturity in this country. Get rid of the feckless, selfish, lazy, entitled attitudes and become more helpful, energised, self-giving and thoughtful.

[minisoksmakehardwork]

I think @hidingfromDD has it spot on. Go work at your mum's and leave the children to him.

[IamHyouweegobshite]

I feel the same, spent every waking hour with my 3. Luckily the eldest has discovered sleeping till the afternoon. My other 2 fight, bicker, whinge and moan constantly. They are 11 and 13. Today I wfh, at the laptop, making calls, had both of them hopping from one foot to the other trying to get my attention. The youngest then made a hammock in the whirly gig washing line, and almost broke it! It doesn't help that she has asd, but my god its been bloody hard.

[YourWinter]

The kids aren't the problem here, their father is a very big problem and needs to massively grow up, step up, SHOW up as a parent and bloody take responsibility. Don't blame the little ones, it's not their fault their father is so incompetent and uninvolved.

[Iflyaway]

It’s impossible to do everything on your own.

No it's not actually. That's why I am a single mum.

Great for those of you who have a man who steps up. If not, why have a man-child hanging on?

Trouble is, society still tells us we need a man to become "whole".
Reading most threads on here tells you it is bullshit.

No-one's life is a fairy story. You make of it what you will. And that means you can do it alone too.

[GarlicMcAtackney]

What do you mean he’s ‘hopeless’?! So you knew he was a shit excuse of a parent and saw fit to get impregnated by him again? Or it was a whole new revelation after no.2 was produced? Either way, what a dreadful standard to show the kids what’s ‘normal’. The pandemic means a lot of people are home more than usual, so these failures of ‘fathers’ are openly showing you(plural) their contempt for you and the kids they forced into existence. How can you tolerate it? Grim.

[MrPickles73]

I feel your pain, my situation is not a million miles from yours... Luckily our school has opened up and the kids have returned to school. Hurrah! I have been working 40 hours per week all through lockdown but atleast I'm not trying to homeschool at the same time now! DH also hopeless with the kids...

[GarlicMcAtackney]

*what

[GarlicMcAtackney]

Why weary said.
If you unburdened yourself from the specimen you chose to marry and produce kids with, your life would be hugely easier. The shit man would have to parent the people he created 50% of the time. And as a bonus, he wouldn’t be in your home. Win/win.

[FrenchBoule]

OP, I have 2 boys similar age. They are like dogs and need to be walked every day.

The lockdown turned everybody’s life upside down, not anybody’s fault but we need to deal with it.

Your DH needs the swift kick between his legs to take his parental responsibilities on as these are also his kids.

Take them every day and let them run/climb trees/ ride the bikes/whatever.If you take them out tell your DH to get cracking with whatever needs to be done.They need some physical activity.

I’ve been with my kids since March and slowly they are doing my nutting.I love them very much but I’d give an arm and leg for some peace.

DH is furloughed, I’m still working.I take the boys out, he runs the hoover round and unloads the dishwasher yada yada.He’s also in chage of homeschooling.

We juggle kids/homework/schooling between us. I also told him I need some time to myself so he takes our ASD son upstairs in the evening so I could have an hour or so peace (which he has when I take the boys out).

It’s impossible to do everything on your own.
Speak to your DH and tell him you need his help.

[HidingFromDD]

go to your mum's to work and leave him in charge of the kids....

[WearyandBleary]

Separate. You will get half the week entirely alone.

I did it. It’s fucking brilliant.

Your husband is useless anyway.

[Starlightstarbright1]

I can now go on a bubble as a Lp however i would just love to be alone completely alone..

I took a couple of days off work that just gave me and DS to regroup.. he is a young teen so able to be more reasonable some says