To return my rescue dog?

[Brunomarsbars]

Firstly let me say I don't ta ke this lightly. I never thought I'd be considering returning a dog.

I adopted a young dog at the weekend from a national dog charity. Specifically said on my application that I needed a dog-friendly dog. The dog I was matched with was described as "indifferent" to dogs which sounded fine. Didn't need him to be best friends with every dog he meets, but just not aggressive. He's the loveliest, most adorable dog with humans but I noticed from the word go he was grumpy with dogs. He'd strain at the leash and bark, even when the dogs were some distance away.

Then, he attacked a dog on a walk. He was on his leash but a dog came running up behind him and took him by surprise - he whipped round and bit it, and wouldn't let go. Fortunately the other dog didn't fight back and didn't appear to be too hurt, but mine was desperately fighting to get out of his harness to chase the dog down. It was really shocking.

I finally got a chat with the dog charity behaviourist today who advised it was worrying and concerning as the dog had given no warning signs, just launched straight into a bite. She advised not introducing the dog to my partner's dog yet (fair enough) and that they can do a 'consultation' with him but she can't make any guarantees that he'll improve or ever be ready to be introduced to the other dog.

I could muzzle him out and about, but wouldn't solve the issue of when my boyfriend's dog comes to visit (once a month as we are in a LDR).

I'm gutted as he's just adorable with people but as a first-time dog owner, I feel out of my depth. The charity is 1.5 hours drive away so not like I can pop there regularly.

AIBU to give him back on the basis of the fight/general dog grumpiness?

You adopted a dog at the weekend and are considering returning it after 3/4 days? Did the charity not talk to you about the need for it to settle? YABVU if you think you are seeing its true personality now. Please please work with them and it and persevere. It is far too early to give up.on a rescue dog.

I realise a dog needs time to settle, but it's attacking another dog and not letting go. Surely that would be a warning sign to most people?

I can't answer your question as I would only be guessing but I wonder if, having just come from a rescue centre and then expected to form a new relationship with young no time at all, the dog was basically insecure, not part of the new family yet and that any sudden noise or approach would have set off a defensive reaction - after all, the dog has no solid foundations in its new setting, it hasn't yet learned to trust you or know it's place in the scheme of things. It's not surprising to me that when faced with so many new situations, that it acted the way it did.

Can it settle down and not repeat his behaviour? Will it be safe around children etc. I have no idea but I think you need to invest some time providing the dog with a sense of security and a feeling of being wanted.

For some reason it sounds like he is scared . Any decent rescue would offer you support .,

There are ways of introducing dogs andperhaps the dog has not had much socialisation.

If I was you I would find a decent recommended dog behaviourist to do an assesment for you .,

How old is the dog ? And why was it in a rescue?

If you're unsure, return the dog.

Know of a rescue from abroad which just is awful with dogs on a lead .

Fine off lead in a field but on a lead he is terrified .

There can be a lot of reasons .

I don't have any real advice, but one of my rescues is the same. If approached by any other dog whilst on the lead she freaks out. Off the lead, she is absolutely fine. We've had her 2 years now and no amount of reassurance has settled her. Has your dog met any dogs whilst off the lead? was it the same reaction?

Will the charity pts if you return the poor dog?

You're 3/4 days in. You need to do a lot more reading about dog behaviour and making them feel secure and how to walk them etc. Take a lot more behavioural advice before returning a dog and adding to an already difficult past this dog has had. Guessing you will have been at least its third home?

I think we an inexperienced dog owner, it would be better to go back to the home and be placed with a more experienced owner, before you both get more attached.
A dog that is aggressive to other dogs while on a lead and out of it's immediate territory can still be successfully introduced to other dogs and could respond very differently to another dog in the home environment, but it would have to be carefully done.

Which rescue was it?

I sympathise with you, getting a reactive rescue as a first dog is a challenge but it can be improved and it's very rewarding. I was in your situation when I got my first dog and it was very stressful. If your dog is anxious, highly likely after rehoming, he will pick up on your anxiety and it will make him worse but it's not as simple as deciding not to feel anxious.

I would agree with a PP about finding a local trainer/behaviourist and have some one to one sessions. My dog improved quite quickly once I became more confident about managing things, it will still take time but now you are aware you can take steps to avoid situations which escalate to aggression.

The techniques used for redirecting the dogs attention when he sees another dog are pretty simple but take a bit of practice to master efficiently and training will help you and your dog bond.

I think it's normal for an inexperienced dog owner to assume they are in the wrong if their dog lunges or bites another dog but I would point out that in the situation you described you had your dog under control and on a lead, the other dog was not. It's fine to ask another dog owner to call their dog off. Sometimes they will say it's OK, my dogs friendly, I use to tell them I couldn't promise mine would be. It's better to prevent these situations but you are reliant on other dogs owners being responsible and considerate, unfortunately many aren't.

You can buy high vis jackets for dogs which have "in training" printed on them or you can buy yellow accessories for your dog to wear which signals to other dog owners that you have an anxious dog.

You must make the right decision for you and your dog but if it gives you any hope I don't regret the time and effort it took to train my dog. I remain cautious around unfamiliar dogs but he does have canine mates now and if he reacts at all its usually just a single warning bark.

Our rescue dog lunged at and growled at every single dog we passed when we first got him to the point that he had to be muzzled. That was seven years ago and he's now the most docile member of our family and brilliant with our two year old. It will take up to 3 months on average for a rescue dog to truly adapt to its new home and to begin to form a relationship with you. Given you're only a few days into this I'd take precautions ie on lead only walks until you've had a chance to have a consultation with the rescue. Chances are your dog is still taking everything in and is overwhelmed. For what it's worth in the incident you describe I know a lot of dogs that wouldn't take kindly to being jumped on by another dog.

I'm gutted as he's just adorable with people

I suppose my question would be: what motivated you to get a dog in the first place?

If it was about giving the dog a loving and secure home, it makes sense to adapt the environment as far as possible to avoid triggering him and give him time and patience to settle and live out a happy and low-stress life. It will obviously take time to fully understand his needs and behaviour, and you'll likely need more support, but it will be worth the effort if your aim was to create a loving home for him.

However, if it was about playing 101 Dalmatians with your boyfriend and his dog, then I'd definitely have a rethink.

A reputable charity will give you a 2 week cooling off period because its really common for problems to mask in kennels and show up in a home setting.
Return him with a clear conscience, tell them what you wrote here. They need to do some work with him and find him a home that can manage his behaviour.

It is very early and the dog will be frightened and confused at the moment. Do you know anyone with a calm older dog who would be willing to meet you and sit quietly outdoors, letting your dog get used to having another dog around but not trying to make them go near each other until they’re ready? I wouldn’t judge your dog on meetings with dogs out and about while it’s so new and frightened.

I’m surprised they homed him without checking his behaviour around other animals/people etc I thought that was part of the process? Sorry if I’m wrong, I just feel that wouldn’t be fair on the dog if they homed him somewhere unsuitable without proper checks, it could have been a child he bit.
It could just be that he’s scared and as he doesn’t know his new surroundings he’s trying to protect himself. Lots of training,
time and love will help, but if you aren’t comfortable doing this then you wouldn’t be wrong to give him back as it wouldn’t be fair for either of you to be unhappy in such a long term commitment.

We returned a rescue dog after four weeks.

The rescue centre thought we were OK to have him, that he would be good with my daughter and unknown with other animals.

Worse month of my entire life, the dog was clearly ill, a real slopoy shitting machine that made our garden unusable, he was ravenously hungry all the time - we took him to the vets at great expense but they couldn't suggest anything.

He got travel sick so the plan of my partner taking him to work couldn't happen.

They rescue centre just thought he was a mongrel, but it turned out he was quite a large breed and totally unsuitable for us.

He terrified my daughter and her friends would no longer come to our house because of him

Final straw he badly bit me and dragged my partner to the floor ' playing'.

We felt so guilty taking him back but then cried with relief later.

You have to do what is right for you, and that will be right for the dog as well.

Owning a dog, especially a rescue one, is an incredible commitment . It takes over your life. You can think you've done all your research and are fully prepared..but it can still be very overwhelming and exhausting.

MaryLennoxsScowl

This is really good advice.

I know you asked here but it's going to come down to your gut feeling. If you think you love/have the ability to love him and he's so good with people then you have to really weigh it up. This could honestly be something that can be solved or it might never happen again. To all the people berating the op and asking about her being inexperienced, the rescue centre matched her with a dog and she gave a specification that they didnt correct. A dog biting another dog is not a normal thing and OP could have been held very accountable by a disgruntled dog owner, not to mention that the poor other dog must have gotten a fright!!

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay Timewaster?! The dog is clearly unstable!

He's been through a lot of stress, and it will take a while for him to settle. Misbehaviour of one kind or another is pretty common in the early weeks with a rescue dog.. Barking at other dogs is a way of showing insecurity; and so was biting a dog that came up behind and scared him. He pulls on the lead because you haven;'t yet trained him not to.

It;s not fair to give upon him right away and cause him yet more stress, returning to kennels with a blot on his record may prevent him ever getting a new owner. He deserves at least a month or so of building a relationship and some patient consistent training.

Try to walk him in quieter places well away from other dogs, while he learns to walk calmly beside you , on a short strong lead and not pulling. (Do not use an extendable lead.).

I recommend the current weekly TV programme called "Dogs behaving badly" , presented by an excellent trainer of dogs and dog owners.

Return it. They lied to you. I have a dog aggressive dog, it’s extremely stressful and I’m sick and ruddy tired of the ‘Mine is friendly’. Yeah, mine’s not, hence why he’s on the lead and I’m running away from you, mug!

"I think we an inexperienced dog owner, it would be better to go back to the home and be placed with a more experienced owner, before you both get more attached."

Yep, you should still be in a cooling off period

Best to return now, rather than likely causing him further problems and having to give him up weeks or months later

Yes this is very concerning that the dog went straight to a bite, and more so that they held the bite and didn't release quickly.

Normally dogs go through displays of agression which can look frightening, but they're actually quite ritualistic and a lot of bluster. To go straight for the bite and to hold on is really worrying.

If you are not an experienced dog owner and you don't want to have to worry about this every time you are out (and not may would) I wouldn't blame you for wanting to return the dog. It has shown what it is capable of doing, it knows it can resort to that behaviour again.

I say all of this as an owner of a dog that has bitten. i love him to bits but my life revolves around worry about him and ensuring he does not experience stressful situations. My life is restricted because of that. If your heart isn't in it I would return the dog to be homed with someone who is prepared for that level of responsibility.