To ask someone why they are ignoring me?

[onestepat]

They pick and choose when they can be bothered to speak.
You text and sometimes they blank you sometimes the reply.
They disappear mid conversation (even if you've asked a question)
They just seem like they can't be bothered with you.
Would you ask why ?

Ignore them. Forever, sorted.

Depends on the context and what the relationship is. Have they always been like this? If so, it’s probably just their style. Personally, I view text as a communication method which doesn’t require an immediate response: if you have something you need answer to immediately then it’s best to phone. Hence, if somebody has messaged me with general chit chat or about something not timebound, I can often take hours to respond.

Asking somebody why they’re ignoring you because they don’t respond to things on your terms is a bit demanding, to be honest; but without knowing who this person is or what you’re messaging them about it’s difficult to say.

I'd probably just drop them.

I wouldn't bother, I'd just stop initiating conversations.

Depends what's going on! Is it the working day? What's their other responsibilities, young kids/are they a carer? Are you asking in a 'you will respond when l contact you and as soon as l expect it' controlling way, or do they have you on eggshells? It's all in the context!

I just find it so rude.
Then hours later they will text a random thing.
It's driving me mad.
I would prefer someone to just say I can't be bothered to speak with you.

I'm on egg shells.
Terrified to say anything incase it causes them to think I'm "crazy"
They have no kids and are not working.
They just blatantly keep ignoring me.

I do this, read a message, mentally reply, and realise later I didn't reply, or I get caught up with the kids/put my phone down mid conversation, who has time to sit and text back and forth, waiting ans checking for replies, id much rather a phone call.

Who are they? A boyfriend? A friend? A close relative? A distant relative?

If you need them to answer you right away why can’t you phone?

I am that person! For me, it’s never intentional. If I try to respond to messages when my toddler is awake, he just snatches the phone from me or screams until I put the phone away. By the time I get the phone back I’ve forgotten all about the message. The only quiet time I get to respond to messages is when I’m awake in the middle of the night or trying to wind down after the 4am wake up. But I never want to respond then in case the recipient doesn’t keep their phone on silent and I wake them up. I guess that makes me a horrible friend

I don’t always reply to texts straight away, unless it’s urgent. I might wait till I have a bit more time. And I don’t always finish a text conversation in the way I would a phone call.

It sounds like you treat text messaging like one conversation - which isn’t how everyone treats it, some just dip in and out.

I also think you’re taking it way too personally. The people I know who do this are struggling right now, have young kids, work stress etc.

Without context it sounds like you’re being a bit U.

Why are you on eggshells? What does it matter what they think?

Just don't respond to their texts and fade from view. No drama, no fuss.

Also, I would be really fucked off if someone asked me why I’m not constantly glued to my phone texting them.

Why are you on eggshells it sounds like you are really overthinking this

The texts I'd accept but the way they behave when talking face to face sounds very rude and I'm not sure I could be bothered with that.

What are they like in person? And what’s the status of your relationship - friends, dating, colleagues, acquaintances?

For lots of people, texting isn’t a medium for conversation. It might be something they pick up as and when they have a moment, rather than something they sit down and dedicate a chunk of time to. So it might be less about them ignoring you and more about a difference in communication styles?

But if they are also flaky in person, or if they don’t ask about you and show interest in your life when texting, it may be that this is a relationship they’re not that bothered about, in which case I would let it cool if I were you.

I am this person. Most adults lead very busy lives.

You sound very juvenile and needy.

Maybe they are busy in RL and put texts and social media on a back burner for a quieter time. I know I do this.

Really depends who this person is to you and how long they've been in your life etc. Lots of that is normal for me in a relationship where the ongoing communication just comes and goes over time. Is a partner? Relative? Colleague? Friend? Acquaintance?

Your post it rather vague..
But if you are referring to a potential partner, or someone you like etc.. I would take from that that they are not that into you.
So just stop talking to them.
I guess this is easier said than done.

I'd definitely think you were odd if you started asking me why I'm ignoring you when i'm not, just not giving you the amount of attention you want.

Are you texting them a lot? Some people really dont have time for that, me included.

If you feel that you're treading on egg shells it's not worth keeping the friendship.

No kids, not working either. Sometimes, people want to text back and forth and it gets on my last nerve. Being glued to a phone texting is different to a call; the latter can take place on headphones and I can do other things at the same time. Texting requires me to stop and type. It can also be rather intrusive and rude - the expectation you WILL respond when the texted expects. Not for me. I often read a text and if it’s not urgent, reply when I have some time.