Really dark thoughts before period

[Littleblackdress04]

Does anyone else get this? It’s got loads and loads worse the older I have got- I am 47 and some months I am almost suicidal in my thinking, feel like no one cares about me etc. Even though I can rationalise in my mind that it’s probably PMS, I can’t seem to control it and feel myself spiralling downhill in the days before my period.

Aibu to think it’s linked to age? Perimenopause? It’s definitely worse than it’s ever been at the moment

I have had the mirena coil for five months and it's made my moods worse...

Thankyou for posting this op it’s amazing to know it’s not just me! I don’t exactly feel suicidal but I definitely feel I wouldn’t care if I didn’t wake up the next morning. I thought it was “just” depression but I’m going to track it with my cycle now x

I get this some months, others it's not too bad. Definitely worse over lockdown!

I'm not prepared to take any medication for it (I work in mental health) but might look into something more natural.

Anyone else get really vivid dreams too? Had one last night and it reminded me. Last nights was a bit Indiana Jones adventure style but often they are just the day to day grind and I wake up feeling like I’ve not slept and have to repeat the grind again Groundhog style. Slept for so long last night but still feel exhausted.

It’s unbelievable that so many of us get this but western medicine has nothing really to help and where is the research?!! If this was a male problem!!!! Grr. Oh oh, rage setting in. Cup of tea in the garden!

I’d forgotten also to say (because I’d forgotten totally because my brain is like pea soup because I am due on any moment) that when I’m seeing my acupuncturist regularly that helps but can’t afford to do it all year and especially not now. if you can afford it and there is a traditionally trained one near you might be worth a try.

I suffered with this and thought I was actually crazy and the doctors told me it was depression it took a long time to link it to the days before my period hit. Along with other issues I finally had a hysterectomy and I have to say it is the best thing I did PMDD is a real thing and can affect every part of your life and shouldn’t be brushed off by medical experts so it’s definitely worth getting additional input from you GP

Western medicine can help with this - it’s called HRT. I urge you to do your own research into this area as GPs usually get next to no training on this.

Non medical routes include - weight management, low alcohol consumption, evening primrose etc. There is a lot you can do to reduce the symptoms but for many the loss of oestrogen is going to cause issues from depression to osteoporosis. It is also a huge reason in women’s heart issues later in life. Meno/peri isn’t just a year of hot flushes and then done - it affects your body for years so pls research hrt in all its forms before dismissing.

Newgirls

I’ve always thought that HRT isn’t prescribed until you are fully menopausal. Are there some on the NHS you can have before? Do you have a good source of info? My GP wouldn’t even consider it. Basically a ‘suck it up’, you could try herbal things if you want kind of thing.

It can be prescribed in a low dose from 45.

The NICE guidelines are for GPs and other professionals but you can read them online very easily. They say specifically to offer hrt from 45 for women with peri symptoms.

So many GPs don’t have training on memo and peri - it’s really shocking. Head over to Dr Louise Newsom for all the info.

I don’t work for her I just get very passionate about how little women know about this stage of life and how so many (often male) GPs fob them off rather than say ‘I don’t know that area sorry’

Yes I am definitely depressed and have dark thoughts before my period and I am 49. As its always every month I tell myself it will pass and I also warn my Husband who totally understands it. You are not alone and you need to accept it or see a GP who may have some medicine to level out the hormones.

Deffinatly go to your gp. My sister and I suffer from this although my sister worse than I do. But have noticed that as I'm getting older my moods are worsening before a period. My sister swears by evening primrose oil. But I'd definatly get seen by a gp.

Yes. My GP prescribed the combined Pill for me a few months ago, even though I am over 35, smoke, don't need it for contraception due to being sterilised, etc, because we agreed the risks of the Pill were far lower than the risks that arise from me spending one week a month sobbing and looking up ways to die that could conceivably seem like an accident. It doesn't work for all women, some of whom find the Pill actually causes issues with mood, but for me it means no cycle and so no sudden drop into that week of absolute misery and terror and rage, and that's just about enough to be ok.

She wants to review it next month so I might ask her about the option of HRT before menopause, although I haven't reached 45 yet so it's probably a non starter. I had a handful of symptoms of perimenopause before I re started the Pill (change in cycle length, night sweats etc) so it might be worth a try.

I started menstruation aged 10 and am so fucking over it now.

I'm 47 and peri menopausal. I'm on progesterone but gynae also put me on 5htp. Just one a day and I think it's leveling me out.

@Bowchicawow I’m ‘only’ 37 as well. But it’s wearing isn’t it? I can’t do another 10-15 years feeling like this every month. It’s definitely something I have only really noticed in the last couple of years. My cycle has also shortened. I’m down to 24 days so I feel like this every 3 weeks or so. It’s too much.

So helpful. Thank you. I might go back to GP. Am so f-ing angry today. Just got really angry with printer and computer. Like a mad woman. Swearing and stabbing a piece of paper with a pen! Luckily am locked in spare room working so away from family. If not it would have been them in the firing line! DH had put the teaspoons in the wrong section in the cutlery drawer earlier, leaving one section empty?! It was good that he was out because that made me soooooo mad!! The tea spoons, in ten years, have always been in the same section!!! FFS. It is irritating but I felt as rage full as if he’d told me he’d slept with my best friend! Totally out of proportion. I know what it but it doesn’t stop it. Tomorrow will be ‘the doom’ then a few days later I’ll be back to me.

@Wrongdissection i know, right?! i started putting in DH's calendar so he knows to ignore me at my worst each month and encourage me to put on wrist-slashing music mindfulness podcasts and get walking. It's hard because i am so low and fatigued then, i don't want to exercise nor enjoy anything.

The thing i hate myself most for is getting short with my own DC.

Each month while i'm cognisant it's hormones I cannot 'snap out' of the depression - once my period arrives I feel relief, more energetic and able to cope.

I get what you mean about every 3 weeks - my 28 day cycle includes 5-6 days of period (heavier these days too) so it is every 3 weeks rinse and repeat.

i will try evening primrose oil. thanks for sharing so I know it isn't just me...

I was treated with Prozac for this in my 20s. It saved my sanity, my relationship and maybe my life. I didn’t want to be on it forever but it worked at the time.

The other thing to mention is a friend thinks its thyroid related, but i disagreed as I can tell the depression is not 'constant'

I've had this! It can be brutal! Definitely worse when I became perimenopausal. I had physical symptoms too, so the GP offered HRT if I wanted it, or the pill. Weirdly I took the pill for 3 months (came off again due to weight gain) and this feeling immediately went away and hasn't returned - neither have my other perimenopausal symptoms - for 18 months since.

It's like it reset me!

Really hard to know what's what though, as at its worst it also coincided with a heartbreaking divorce plus young dc and working two jobs. But due to the pill experience I'm completely certain it was hormonal.

The pill was Qlaira btw

I am almost crying reading this. I'm 47 and have PCOS. Until my 40s my periods were really irregular and then I lost a lot of weight and have a 28 day cycle pretty much.

However the three or four days before my period are awful. Cold, tired, irrational and not sleeping. Month on month been getting worse and I've just been feeling pointless. Maybe time to have a chat with my GP.

I’ve started keeping a diary on the Moody app as suggested by someone on this thread. Once I have around 3 months of information I’ll be going to the GP with this evidence and ask them to fix me.

day of lockdown was the day before my period... you can imagine how shit I felt... (til a lovely poster found footnote one which says children could go between homes)

the last period was really shit as dd's phone broke the day bvefore and ex was being a twat about it.

If I know that I am due a period, it feels less bad.

[quote Littleblackdress04]@Yaty do you take anti depressants all month or just for some of the month?[/quote]
Sorry just seen this. I take them all month I think it works better for me as I was in a pattern of having my period, then 1 week I'd feel 'normal'/ good, 1-2 weeks feel steadily more depressed plis other symptoms of pmdd, then few days before period feel suicidal. So I was not really having more than a week break from it each month. Pmdd is really horrible and debilitating. The anti depressants have really smoothed out my mood and emotions and I dont go on the rollercoaster ride anymore. Still get a few days PMS but its manageable and, short and not to level of distress it was (suicidal thoughts etc). I would recommend speaking to your gp about it see if it could help you.

Exactly the same for me too- have all the symptoms of PMDD
Have been prescribed Prozac, on second month now and it definitely takes the edge off
I was originally told to just take it a week before period, but the second doctor I spoke to rubbished that advice- have been taking it daily at 20mgs..

I used to feel horrendous for a week before my period. Huge swings in emotion, I would be sad, tired and irrationally angry. I was a nightmare to live with and I hated myself. Went to doctors numerous times until one doctor took me seriously.

We first tried low dose of fluoxetine, which did work well but I felt numb and lost a lot of weight as my appetite vanished (an issue at the time, nowadays it would be a welcome side effect!).

I went back to the same doctor and she recommended the Yasmin pill which I have taken ever since. I am honestly like a new woman. Mood swings have vanished, my skin has cleared up and my periods are much lighter. I feel sad that I wasted so many years being unhappy when there was such an easy solution.