Really dark thoughts before period

[Littleblackdress04]

Does anyone else get this? It’s got loads and loads worse the older I have got- I am 47 and some months I am almost suicidal in my thinking, feel like no one cares about me etc. Even though I can rationalise in my mind that it’s probably PMS, I can’t seem to control it and feel myself spiralling downhill in the days before my period.

Aibu to think it’s linked to age? Perimenopause? It’s definitely worse than it’s ever been at the moment

[OhioOhioOhio]

I put a thread up about this recently. Reassuring to know that it's not just me.

[lavenderlove]

I get this but it's on day 1 and 2 of my period. It's awful, I'm normally a really happy person but on these days I'm convinced that I'm always sad and hate everything about life. I cry a lot and struggle to do anything at all. Luckily in the back of my mind I know it will be over in 2 days so I just get through them as quickly as possible.

I'm TTC so at first I thought I was just sad that my period had arrived but I've realised it's much more than that

[2020nymph]

Sorry so many of you are going through this too, although it is also reassuring.

I'm due on on Tuesday and I have really struggled this weekend.

[Ineedmysay]

I empathise with all of this, but mostly with me it was the rage I felt, and it had crept from a couple of days before my period to well over a week, I got the mirena coil fitting over a year ago and I have found it’s made a huge difference to my moods

[Lovely1a2b3c]

My PMS (probably PMDD) is much worse now, in my early 30s than it was 5 or 10 years ago so although it might get even worse towards perimenopause, I think it can even worsen from 30s onwards.

I have found taking Vitamin B6 (I take 30-40mg but I think other people take 50+mg), Magnesium and Evening Primrose oil capsules for the second half of my cycle does really help when I remember!

[welldonesquirrels]

Thank you for this thread, it's made me feel so much less alone.

In the two day run up to my period I get panic attacks and get these really intrusive thoughts that something absolutely terrible is about to happen. The rest of the month I'm fine, calm, quite content with life. It's like the change in hormones just flicks a switch and my whole world goes from normal to gut wrenching anxiety.

I'm able to manage it to some extent because I know now that it's hormonal and I know when it will happen because my cycle is regular and there are things I can do to help.

For me, even the tiniest amount of alcohol seems to make it a thousand times worse, so I avoid that like the plague, and try to exercise to take the edge off it. Explaining it to my husband helped too and sometimes saying the catastrophic thoughts/fears out loud helps because then together we can say "ok, it feels like that now but we know that's the pms talking".

I don't have an answer otherwise but this is such an eye opening thread.

[Meanameicallmyself20]

I used to have this in my 20s. Long irregular cycles with terrible PMS (?PMDD) and awful painful periods. Infertility and miscarriage too. It transpired I had severe stage 4 endometriosis, adenomyosis and PCOS.
I find that when I am in pain I have severe mood swings and anxiety. Sometimes I don’t know I’m in pain but the only thing to register is mood changes and/or exhaustion.
A PP mentioned feeling cold and ill and that’s exactly what I had too.
I’ve had all the endometriosis removed and feel a lot better plus on the mini pill.
Just thought I’d add these thoughts in case it chimes with anyone. Good luck all xx

[Littleblackdress04]

It’s so reassuring to read all your posts and sorry we are all going through this- it’s obviously more common than is talked about. I wonder if there is a taboo about dark thoughts too? I’ve not really acknowledged it until recently - feels like it’s not talked about how badly hormones can impact. to us all xx

[Littleblackdress04]

I haven’t slept well either - day 26 today so hoping I come on today. Still got the ‘doom’ (love that phrase) and feel very alone. It’s weird isn’t it.

[Oxyiz]

I have just had the first month ever with zero symptoms beforehand. I usually have all these sorts of things.

About six weeks ago I started a new diet (cutting out all bread, sugar and added salt, and eating mostly vegetables, fish and drinking lots of water). I've just finished the easiest period of my life, so I was searching online for if there might be a correlation and some people think there is.

I'll keep an eye on if that continues or if this was just a one-off, but it might be worth a try too before starting medication?

[Outtheforest]

I get this also, in my late 20s and was never an issue until I had a minera fitted about 2 years ago. Its usually about a week before my period i'm completely full of rage picking arguments which then leads to hours of crying while intrusive thoughts appear alongside thoughts of self harm and suicide. 4 days later and its like it never happened.

[Saracen]

Yes, I've always had that. Now 51 and it hasn't got any better or worse over the years.

[borntohula]

Yes I get this and in early pregnancy so put it all down to hormones going haywire.

[IwishIhadaMargarita]

On the first day I get thoughts of harming myself. I was in pain once and thought if I threw myself under a car the ambulance would give me gas and air if I broke a limb...another time I wondered what it would be like to climb out the upstairs window and how hitting the patio would feel...I was so close to trying it. Luckily I still have some rationality.

[Ohdeariedear]

Yes! I used to know my period was coming as I went so bleak for about 12 hours beforehand. Similar age here. Now that I know what it is, I’m able to ride it out, but before I had made the link it was quite worrying,

[SilveryWrath]

Yes I get this. Also has anyone else noticed, there is a sort of lull or pause, approx the day or night before, the bad feelings then return, then vanish when period starts?

[IJustWantFiveMinutesAlone]

Yes and I know logically it's just hormones but it's terrifying.

[EBearhug]

Me too. Still regular at 48, but it's got worse through my 40s. I know the pattern, so I know not to make any big decisions for a couple of days, and then it's just gone. Or at least replaced by physical pain.

[Frankiemintz]

I also get this. And also have 3 or 4 nights when I can’t get to sleep as I have too many anxieties racing around in my head, and I wake up during the night with hot sweats.

[Mascotte]

This thread is most reassuring. I get loads of this, including feeling really cold , very paranoid that my DP/everyone secretly gaurs me; terrible sleep as the doom strikes, get sweaty, and black black thoughts.

Not that I'm glad others suffer, but I really thought I was going mad. I don't think lockdown helps as I have few distractions.

[Pambalambalam]

I have this too and it’s got worse since I had my dd 4 years ago and with age (I’m 42) it’s horrendous, I nearly break up with my DP every month and feel suicidal and anxious about everything, convinced something terrible is about to happen. I can’t rationalise it at the time. I make mistakes at work and am tearful. I tried antidepressants which didn’t help. So now I’m considering a total hysterectomy. It’s ruined/is ruining my life and no one understands (apart from you all).

[wherestheotherone]

Yes and I'm on anti depressants as a result. Without them im virtually suicidal and riddled with panic and worry. I can now manage my mood far better. It doesn't go but honestly it's changed my life.

[Mascotte]

I'm actually awaiting progress towards a hysterectomy but all on hold just now

[chasegirl]

I have the same feelings a couple of days before my period it's got a lot worse recently. Feel so low, insecure and hugely anxious. I am 49. I do wonder if lockdown has heightened these feelings. My last 2 periods have been 2 weeks late so maybe the stress of lockdown is affecting my whole system.

You are not alone

[Littleblackdress04]

@chasegirl I think lockdown has deffo made it worse- internalising stuff more than normal I think