Really dark thoughts before period

[Littleblackdress04]

Does anyone else get this? It’s got loads and loads worse the older I have got- I am 47 and some months I am almost suicidal in my thinking, feel like no one cares about me etc. Even though I can rationalise in my mind that it’s probably PMS, I can’t seem to control it and feel myself spiralling downhill in the days before my period.

Aibu to think it’s linked to age? Perimenopause? It’s definitely worse than it’s ever been at the moment

Yes. Me too. I do keep track of my cycles which helps. I am 47 as well. I’ve started taking herbal things which helps (and which has also got rid of lumpy breasts too).

Yes, I was like this since my late thirties, really low mood two or three days before each period.... tearful, brooding, “no one will miss me when I’m gone”, planning own funeral etc... the good news is it will stop after menopause.

@Geraniumblue May I ask what you take that helps? And how did you know what to take? Thanks x

I take Angus castus, kelp and evening primrose. Have a look at Christine Northrup’s website- it’s a bit ‘honour the wisdom of your body’ but does have a lot of information about hormones and gives advice that I found useful. I did a fair amount of research before deciding what to take, but it seems to work very well for me.

I used to get this as a teen, it was awful. I had terrible insomnia too which only exacerbated it. I'm trying to think about how to talk to dd about it without scaring her.

Thanks @Geraniumblue, I’ll have a look there.

I get these too, it genuinely scares me

Yes, me. The week before my period I want to divorce my DH, I'm consumed with evil negative thoughts that I just can't shake. I've consulted gp and she suggested ADs for one week a month. Haven't decided whether to go ahead yet as I had them years ago and they didn't agree with me.

@yearinyearout that's the regime I was wondering about

The pill does this to me. I’m a mess for a couple of days then back to normal. It’s awful. I genuinely worry I might actually do it one time if I can’t rationalise it. I’m working with my GP to try and find a solution but no luck so far.

I get this, I’m 44 and always had PMS, but this is another level. It started after my last DC. I’m on the pill for it and I’m supposed to take the packs consecutively so I don’t get periods. It doesn’t really work though, I still feel like this periodically (excuse the unfunny pun).

The pill also gives me low-level low mood the rest of the time too

I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been considering SSRIs recently too. I feel sad for the DC that I’m not the way I should be with them.

You can also consult a qualified herbalist to give you something to help. If you have a look at the nimh.org.uk/find-a-herbalist/
There might be one near you.
Of course, going down the antidepressant route might suit you better. But it’s nice to have a few options.

Does anyone else get the bloating and mild cold type symptoms? I also get the insomnia and anxiety.

I've tried some herbal remedies but they were rubbish, unsurprisingly. I just wish I could take a pill that would make my period start.

Have you researched PMDD? Have a look.

@Geraniumblue that’s a good idea. I did take Agnus castus religiously at one point, it was while I had the copper coil so the periods were horrendous, and I think the AC helped regulate them a bit.

I can’t even remember what my mental process was when I decided to get rid of the coil and go in the pill.

So much brain-fog, I don’t know if it’s from having young DC or just hormones in general or peri-menopause or what.

I’m going to check out the Christine Northrop website now.

I have pmdd. Citalapram was part of the answer. The other part was a mirina coil. In my case it took months to get as they couldn't fit it as I had a polyps, then they couldn't remove the polyps the easy way so I had to go to a different department weeks later. Getting the coil was quick and easy (for me, experiences vary!)
Someone asked about taking the antidepressants all month or part month. I was already on them all month when they diagnosed me. Some drs start you off part month and see if it works. I think it helps if you have a regular cycle.
Good luck!

Oh lord. This is me. I am crippled today with period pains, have been all day and feel like a shit mum/wife.
I go through a week of angst pre period, utter and complete exhaustion, then have a spurt of high energy and rampant hunger. When pre menstrual I can't bear being touched, having anyone in my personal space (Inc DC/DH) loud noises, chewing noises and breathing noises!

Basically I hate everything and everyone for around a week. I'm horrible

Yup. For me it has been much worse since lockdown, undoubtedly due to having periods but also breastfeeding my 2 year old a lot more frequently, so my hormones are going nuts. It’s unpredictable too. Some months I only get one good week, so I’m sure it’s PMDD. I basically feel like I’ve got PND again, for the past three weeks (period has just ended).

My gran had an oophorectomy after surviving ovarian cancer when she was about 40, my mum had one at the same age due to cysts (and her mum’s history). That’s my plan. I’m 35 this year so I keep telling myself at least there’s that option. I know the raging anxiety will drop off once I get back to work and am not breastfeeding so much but the past few weeks have been hell on Earth.

Oh and I was much worse on the pill, both the combined and mini pill, so never touching it again.

I had the same experiences and then I got the hormonal coil , only had it two weeks but so far no migraines and no dark moods but I do feel very emotional crying/laughing at the same time , which is much more better than the feeling of wanting to end it all.

I hope you find a solution OP.

Yes about 2/3 days before my period I have a couple of days of feeling so, so low and crying a lot. I don't (or haven't so far) feel at all suicidal but I do think all my friends hate me. I often go as far as to come off Facebook, or delete Whatsapp as I don't want to talk to them anymore since I know they don't really want to. I make all kinds of resolutions about how I'm just going to go on with my life alone, and how I'll remember this time THE TRUTH about how everyone feels about me.

Yes, and it comes on really suddenly, it's like flicking a switch. It's really convincing as well, I can't rationalise that it's because of hormones that I suddenly feel so very low. Fortunately DH recognises the signs and talks me through it.

Yes this get this too. I really struggle in work on those days as my confidence is usually in my boots and I feel really paranoid and just want to hide. It helps having a regular cycle and knowing when to expect the worst days.

Speak to a doctor urgently. Women with unstable angina are most likely to have a heart attack just before their periods start. One of the symptoms of high blood pressure / unstable angina is severe anxiety and it can often map to your cycle for years.

I could hug you for posting this. I’m 46 and this is happening to me. I’m also getting terrible paranoia. I accuse my husband of cheating on me and I’m absolutely convinced of it at the time. I’m thinking it has to be something to do with menopause. I’ve always had PCOS and I rarely got periods but they’re now getting closer and closer together. I’ve had severe depression for 23 years and most of the time it’s managed with the medication I take but before a period I’m just terrible. I know it isn’t psychosomatic as I never know when I’m getting a period. On Friday I was psycho. In despair,despising my husband and wishing it would all end. I was also so agitated. My body almost physically hurts where I am so on edge. Saturday lunchtime my period very unexpectedly started. By the evening I was fine. It’s really bad and it seems to be getting worse. I also feel bad for my husband who has to take all this crap off me. Luckily he’s understanding but when I’m back in the real world,I feel so awful and embarrassed for things I’ve said. If anyone finds any answers please let me know. It’s just horrible