Really dark thoughts before period

[Littleblackdress04]

Does anyone else get this? It’s got loads and loads worse the older I have got- I am 47 and some months I am almost suicidal in my thinking, feel like no one cares about me etc. Even though I can rationalise in my mind that it’s probably PMS, I can’t seem to control it and feel myself spiralling downhill in the days before my period.

Aibu to think it’s linked to age? Perimenopause? It’s definitely worse than it’s ever been at the moment

Yup, I call it the Doom. I've had it since my early 30s, I think. It's horrible but I do track my cycle so I know when to expect it. You just have to ride it out and be kind to yourself.

Me too. I'm already on ssris so I don't know what could be done. It's horrible.

Yes I get exactly this, I'm 33 and seems to have gotten worse over the past couple of years.

I feel really low and in such a dark place that I'll never feel normal again, a lot worse than typical PMT and then when my period comes I'm fine again.

I don't always actually realise till I come on and then think oh so that's what was wrong!

I’ve had this, day in bed

I get this too and feel like it is getting worse now I'm in my 30s. Tried antidepressants but didn't feel they helped - I don't feel like it every day. The antidepressants also made me feel extremely numb and emotionless.

I can relate to this, not quite so depressive but I feel horribly anxious, today for example I'm not due for another week but it's been a horrible day in terms of a black cloud hanging over me, intrusive thoughts about mine and my children's health which are irrational, not feeling present as such. I've noticed this getting worse each month. I'm not on any birth control but I'm considering it to see if it might help balance me out!

God, yes, me too. I feel worthless and in complete despair. I'm fifty.

I have decided to ring my GP. I read that Prozac or something for the pre- period days can help and need to try something as it's getting out of hand.

Does anyone ever feel spaced out too a few days before? Almost, a bit drugged. Hard to explain!

@Aisforharlot

Me too. I'm already on ssris so I don't know what could be done. It's horrible.

Please still ask to see a psychiatrist though as they can give you a small dose antipsychotic as well to help with the PMDD. That’s what they are looking at doing for me. As I’m already on anti depressant every day.

I get exactly this, with all consuming rage, despair and hopelessness. I was diagnosed with pmdd about 8 years ago by a very good doctor. I've since had to move practice and i take antidepressants to even me out. The rise of progesterone seems to dull the production of serotonin. You're not alone, DRs just don't know or care about it really.

I suffer from PMDD and take fluoxetine to balance things out - it’s been a lifesaver.

I have long cycles but the week before a period I was in the blackest hole and totally destructive to my life. The rest of the time I was normal. I’m in my early 40s and it’s something that has gotten worse.

I've been getting this for the last 2-3 years (I'm mid thirties.)
My cycles are around 30-32 days long and on about day 25/26 I get a horrible bad temper, real snappy rage which isn't like me. Then that's replaced by a real low where I'm tearful and anxious with suicidal thoughts. Usually all accompanied by a week of daily migraines that get progressively worse until my period arrives. My cycles are getting slowly longer and the extra days of this is a real nuisance.

God yes, I get this too, have for decades, used to be exactly a week before my period when I was on the pill, now it’s two days before. It’s almost like a switch flicks in my head, thoughts of family being in accidents, serious illness, divorce, you name it.

Yes the same for me. It’s awful.

I had this for years maybe 20 ! Wish I had done something about it. Really think a lot of what I thought was depression was this. Strangely mind has hot better as I have hit my 40s the last couple of years its disappeared,made me realise what a strong grip It had on my life .

Omg! I just had to look up what PMDD is and it's answered all my questions! The relief! I thought I was going crazy!

I was crying so much in the car today that I couldn't even keep it together enough to see my dad on father's day. I just kicked my kids out of the car at my dad's house and then drove home in tears, thinking about how badly it would affect them if I killed myself.

Their dad had to collect them as I was in no fit state to drive by then.

It's so depressing.

Yes, I get this too, and @whatswithtodaytoday I also call it The Doom. Bleak, crushing misery and suicidal thoughts - the only things that help are tracker apps (just to try and recognise it), isolating myself as much as possible, and hard exercise. The exercise doesn’t make me feel bright and breezy again, but takes the edge off the terror that I may act on those suicidal thoughts.

Don’t know what to do with the idea that it may get worse with age. Had a horrible decade on the pill in my teens and twenties, and don’t really want more hormones in there for HRT. Will do more reading on periods and perimenopause, I think.

Yes! Not suicidal, but there is definitely always a day or two when I am convinced I have no friends, I am fucking everything up and am clearly a terrible person who should just disappear to make everyone's lives easier. DH has learned to recognise it now and points it out, which of course then makes me cry. It sucks.

I need to start tracking my moods because I recognise everything on this thread. Can’t bear to be around my kids, hate DH and want a divorce, am so irritable that I can barely speak to anyone, it lasts a couple of days and then I’m back to normal. I’m so miserable on those days though. It doesn’t take much to tip me into tears during that time.

I've posted on here before as I had this for years. Finally got a GP who would refer me to a gynaecologist who suggested a full hysterectomy. I burst into tears right there as someone was taking me seriously.

It was what I wanted. As well as all the horrible shit in my head, I had 12 day periods and terrible headaches. It may sound extreme but it's been amazing. It will be 5 years in October. On HRT. Life changing.

Interestingly both my mum and her mum had hysterectomies around the same age.

I could have written this op!

I'm 49 and very menopausal, only having very infrequent 1/2 a year periods. And I feel filled with murderous rage and horrible thoughts just before they arrive. I feel like this right now! (Have just taken myself off to bed with a bag of crisps and a glass of wine as I can't stand the sight of my lovely dh a second more (and it was him who went out to get the wine!!).)

Can't wait till this is all over (and I can't take hrt due to an underlying health condition I have).

Yes I totally agree and have been looking into the PMDD too , I'm like a different person 👿 whereas normally I piss people off with my positivity, it's awful not being in control and feeling so low.

Me! All of what everyone's described as well as utter, complete exhaustion. I've taken Florentine too for it in the past and am thinking to do so again, I'm 42 with 2 young girls and I literally lose the plot when I'm due on, takes me a week to recover too!

This was me for a few years, I have very long, irregular cycles, so these moments would feels like they came out of nowhere.
I would regularly want to divorce my husband, run away from home, feel that life was pointless, then a week later get my period.
I would be in such a pit of despair, and it took a long while for me to connect the two.
Fortunately, it does seem to have got much better in the last year or so.