Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

I did it! Told my colleague (actually my boss!) I was booze free now, felt really good and like I was making my commitment stronger. Glad I did!

Wow really brave @NeedAUserNameAllTaken well done you! And that's pure rock n roll @RandomGirl

Thanks @fluckityfluckfluck!

@NeedAUserNameAllTaken that is awesome! Well done! It’s like cementing your conviction - that’s brilliant. Do you feel a bit lighter for telling someone?

I’m safely past the trigger time, had lime and soda with my dinner and it was lush. Now under a blanket with my girl about to find a film.

Have a lovely evening everyone xx

Sounds lovely @RandomGirl! Glad you are past smoothly :) Yeah, it felt like now I'm in all the way for sure and yes, much much lighter. Another mate knows I'm having a dry period but it felt right to go all in today, I did pick someone who I knew would be supportive. Was slightly worried she may assume I was a vodka on cornflakes drinker but she did nothing of the sort. Telling my mum however.... that will be interesting as I'm pretty sure she's a functional alcoholic!!!! But cross that bridge then, today I'm feeling good for putting it out there.
How's everyone else? Have a lovely Friday night all!

That was a good step @NeedAUserNameAllTaken, makes it all the more firm telling a friend, and it is also something to be proud of!

I listened to the latest Naked Mind podcast last night, an interview with a very smart woman who was saying being AF is nothing to be sad or regretful or to feel deprived about, we are giving ourselves a great opportunity, to experience every feeling fully rather than using the blunt effects of alcohol to dull the lot! I think it is really brave to be ready and willing to experience everything life throws with your unaltered brain, we only get this life once, after all.

I always think I might need alcohol a lot more when my daughter's are teenagers, just to deal with all that entails. But maybe not anymore..

Day 3 hard going for me. My partner and I are not talking to each other but still locked down in the same house, we don't want to be together but have no way to be apart! I have gone for 3 walks with various children today, purely as distraction from thinking about drinking and to get in the 10,000 steps. It really is one interminable day at a time here for me. Still have the strong desire to drink.

Like you @RandomGirl I will have to distract myself for the next few dangerous hours. 10 or 11 cups of tea should do it. Take care of yourselves everyone, prioritise yourselves any time you get the chance!

Have just downlaoded quit app, thanks for the rec @fluckityfluckfluck.
This is not my first time trying to quit, more like my tenth, so I will try and do it differently this time!
I got pregnant with my third child mainly to make me stop drinking!! It worked for pregnancy and until he was one, then I caved. He's great though, we're keeping him

@HotelRoomforOne read the Claire Pooley analogy of the field - it's amazing and will definitely help in the really early days struggle - http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-obstacle-course.html?m=1

Sorry @HotelRoomforOne that sounds tough with your partner. We had those times a few years back, they are hard. Feel free to reach out on here for support and if you need a chat!
Re attempt no 10- I read in Dry that we can consider each attempt we tried and didnt quite get there as training, so you've had some excellent practise ready for this final attempt. A bit like a marathon! I think most of us have had many many training attempts! It does get easier, I use Heineken zero to get me through but am finding now I dont need to as much as it becomes my new normal. In Dry she also talks about replacing the habit with something healthier so instead of a drink putting on a fancy coffee pot or something?
Lol re your third! My story is similar I put off ttc for a second because of my drinking- my attempts to cut down so I was in better shape were too crap so I'd push it back again and again and again. Means I've left it quite late now doh!

How was your night out @Patbutcherismyhero? How is everyone else doing

Good afternoon all, nice to hear from everyone.

@HotelRoomforOne that made me laugh about your third child!

Today has been far easier than I thought it would be - spent the morning playing monopoly with my daughter which was actually a lot more fun than I anticipated. Probably because I smashed it. I did give her some of my Free Parking winnings though - I’m not a total witch .

My best friend invited me to the pub for a couple of house earlier but I declined and wasn’t even tempted. That felt good. All of my stress about what I was going to do to fill the day today has not come to fruition so I’m pleased. And chilled.

My [second] copy of Dry arrived this morning so I’m going to spend the afternoon on the sofa with a brew and a book. I’ve just remembered that I’m on-call this afternoon so I couldn’t really go anywhere anyway.

@HotelRoomforOne that sounds tough with your partner. Really hard when there's a bad atmosphere but you can't escape. Me and my dp have had days like that during lockdown.

Afraid to say I went out with friends and had quite the binge. Nothing bad happened and it was great to catch up but I'm feeling pretty hungover today. On the plus side this will stop me drinking for the rest of the weekend so every cloud and all that!

Really impressed with how well everyone is doing.

I don't even you @Patbutcherismyhero, glad you had fun

@HotelRoomforOne a belated welcome to the thread , it sounds like you have had a hard time , I hope we can all help you .

@fluckityfluckfluck
I am still here thanks for checking
Your pup is lovely , he is going to be a bundle of energy for the next few years , he will certainly give you something else to think about . I loved taking my dog out in the early hours when all the roads were quiet and the the birds are just getting up .
Well done on the weight loss , that's amazing ,

@RandomGirl
Saving money is kind of addictive, I have always been fairy good with money but a few years ago I had a wake up call and realised that it was down to me to sort out every single part of my finances from the amount of mony coming in to what is spent on bills and saved , I openned a new bank account and set up a DD to transfer part of my wages in to it it is amazing how quickly it builds up and I dont miss the money out of may wages . When ever I get any OT or a pay rise the tat money goes in there too .
I will never be able to retire on it but if I am unlucky and lose my job I will be ok for a few months.
A personal home trainer EEK that is not something I could do but good luck to you I hope it goes well .

What book did turn up ? how to dry stone wall ??

Ohh I did not realise I was a page behind !

@HotelRoomforOne.
That sound tough it must be hard to share a space with someone you no longer love . Do you think you will go your separate ways once the lock down has eased ? could you then move in with a friend or family member until you can find a place of your own .

@NeedAUserNameAllTaken
It is good to be able to share it with people you trust , I mentioned it just in passing to my brother a few weeks ago and he said Nah that's not for me ( like me he tended to have a couple of beers every day ) but a few days ago he sent me a pick of a stack of AF beer that he bought in a local discount shop ( stuffy sod got it all for about 2/3rds of the RRP ) so it is good to know he is easing up on it a bit too .

I have stayed dry , though i have been sorely tempted a few time this week as I have to walk past my local to get home and there were loads of people sat out in the sun enjoing a few beers and asking me to join them and I know I would of found it very hard not to have a drink .
I have had a lot of early starts at work over the past week and I have two more weeks of it , there is nothing like having to get up at 4am to keep you sober the night before !

Ah yeah 4am on a hangover would suck!
Glad you are all good @AlCalavicci.

Glad you had fun @Patbutcherismyhero

Enjoy @RandomGirl! On call?? Are you a vet? Or doctor? Just being nosey!

Day 60!!!!really cannot believe it. I had no idea I could do this or that it would be this revolutionary. At the risk of being a complete pain in the area I feel like such a fool for not realising how much better everything is this way.... I'm in no hurry to get to day 100. Maybe I'll never drink again. Maybe I will be able to have a glass of champagne every blue moon and not bother about the rest. I think I've made a decision to say no more wine for sure, as that just will lead me back to where I was and above everything else I don't want that.

Congrats @fluckityfluckfluck! That's AMAZING! Your journey has been so inspiring to read!

Hi all sorry I’ve been radio silent but it’s been crazy here dealing with A level results!

You all sound like you’re doing brilliantly 💗

@fluckityfluckfluck fanbloodytastic!!! 🌟 How is Sid and what did the kids say?!

@AlCalavicci well done for helping in walking. Did you get hold of the AF Thatchers? I ordered a case of 24! It’s very nice. 💗

@NeedAUserNameAllTaken well done for telling your friend (boss). I’ve told everyone! Haha. My husband gets a bit annoyed as he doesn’t think I had as much of a problem as I think I did. However it feels like it holds me to my commitment.

@RandomGirl I am loving your posts and your enthusiasm. Absolutely brilliant. You sound like you’re well on your way to better things. One thing that has helped me is to think about how I want my kids to remember their childhoods. 💗 Not that I was ever a massive drinker but I used to take a glass of wine up for bedtime stories, it really normalises it for them which isn’t good I think.

Part 2!

@HotelRoomforOne I feel so much for you, sounds really tough. We do use alcohol to numb and it sounds like you have a lot to deal with. I would recommend exercise when you can. If you can’t get out could you do some yoga? Yoga with Adrienne is a really lovely 30 day Programme. 💗 Maybe try not to have any big thoughts about the relationship just now. Just take a day at a time and do something nice for you each day - a bath, a scented candle, clean sheets, yoga, a run ... anything that makes you feel good. Keep posting. You are in the darkest of times and it will get better. Lockdown is bloody awful. Hugs. 💗

@Patbutcherismyhero glad you had fun. Good luck with the week ahead. Are you staying AF? How’s the moderating feeling?

Part 3!
@NeedAUserNameAllTaken thank you for those paragraphs from the book. So good!!! I am so going to get that. 💗

@Sauvignonismysaviour how are you doing? Keep posting 💗

Gosh I feel quite emotional. Loving this group!

My news is I’m now past 6 months. Still having my moments but I’ve had a stressful week with exam results and didn’t feel the need for alcohol. Going to sign up for Pilates for one evening a week and doing lots of eBay to keep me busy. Also thinking about maybe doing some photography. I’ve had lots of positive comments about some photos I put on Facebook and thinking it’s something I enjoy and could maybe learn some more about.

Sid is settling in like you wouldn't believe. He's super bright and getting the hang of the crate and doing really well with toilet training too. The kids are over the moon. My youngest told me it was the happiest day of his life when he met him 

Hope the A levels results went well @Railingsohno, it is so difficult for them all without having the chance to do the exams.

@Cherrybakewellard just tagging you in case the thread is still not showing...hope you are ok x

@Railingsohno 6 months!!!! Wow. I can't think that far ahead. You should be very proud of yourself

Hope the A Level results went well @Railingsohno. And over 6 months! Amazing. Those sound like lovely hobbies to pick up. It's amazing how much more time there is AF free! I like your idea of what do I want my child to grow up with, I also did wine at bedtime stories some nights, which now I can't believe..but being kind to myself, at least the stories happened. There's a big theme on self compassion in Dry which is really helpful.

Thank you, yeah I think I might start to tell more soon!
Glad those chapters help. I'm finding lots I can take from her, as with all these books.

@fluckityfluckfluck he is such a cutie! So lovely!