Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

Life without alcohol is infinitely more satisfying than life with alcohol, that's the irony.

I regularly go for months without drinking, and I'm always calmer, peaceful, clear headed, focused and frankly, happier.

I went into full lockdown sober (we locked down 13 March here, curfew and everything) and had a total handle on it all, even working 18 hour days. I lost the handle when May rolled around and I started having a few drinks at weekend which then turned into regular weekend drinking.

I'm still drinking now but ready to cut it all out again, I really go through phases with it. I'm quite happy to go 5 months without drinking and then drink for a month and so on.

My health and sanity agrees!

Welcome newbies! Lovely to add to our gang.
Strokethefurrywall- love your name! Love that film

Ah the fear, I hated the fear. Don't miss that.

Ooh exciting fluckity! I'm sure once you've done it a few times it gets easier.

I'm sorry it's so hard Pat, that sounds like a lot to juggle. Be kind to yourself, we've all done it. It's why we are on here!

Keep up the good work guys!
Railings and Box how are u guys?

On holiday. It’s hot, noisy and I’m struggling with the not drinking. 6 AF months now. Everyone drinking here. So many people. It’s hard.

@Railingsohno think of how you will feel tomorrow if you throw away all that time....remember how sure you are that you want to be alcohol free. Remember all those people are simply doing the expected thing and you have made the conscious decision to have more control of your life. You've got this 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Wow welcome to all the newbies! Great to see you all.

I totally agree about the fear. As much as I'm still struggling with my habitual daily drinking I'm pleased I've managed to knock those crazy binging nights on the head. Nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night riddled with anxiety about what you said or did or what you posted on social media or who you offended. I did some very silly and dangerous things when I was in those states.

Still struggling with the daily drinking though. Since lockdown it just seems like a natural part of the daily routine. I don't feel terrible for it but I know I'd probably be fresher and clearer (not to mention a lot thinner) without it.

@fluckityfluckfluck thank you. Went out for a run and felt better. It seems particularly hard on holiday. We’re quite on top of each other here and it’s busy which I find quite stressful.

Hi all....just checking in b4 bed because I said I’d be back &
don’t want to stop b4 I start. Hoping if I join you all it’ll help me stay on track. Well done railings....I’d find a holiday and stress at the same time a real challenge too. AF for me tonight 😁....even poured a glass for my lovely Mum and happily sat across from her enjoying a glass of tap water. Just wish that was always my default “Take it or leave it” position rather than the current and horribly long term default which is to spend too much of the day looking forward to a drink and too much of the evening drinking. Thanks for the thread Pat!

Well done @Poppy209

Ohh could I join please? I had a real problem with drinking which reached its peak last summer and I knew then that something had to change.

I managed 6 months from October 2019 to March 2020 without a drop and I felt amazing but I decided in March that since I'd finished up uni due to lockdown I could allow myself to drink socially.

My drinking didn't creep up too much at the start, I had my first drink in March then managed to go 30 days until my next drink then it was 14 days the next time and I just realised this week that last week I had had 3 nights out of 7 drinking. So it is slowly but surely creeping up and I am already noticing the effects and thinking about alcohol much more again, that little voice in my head telling me I deserve some wine to relax. I really don't want to go back to it being my crutch. I'm only 28 and I don't want this to take over my life again like it has done since I was 19.

I want to be clear headed for starting back uni and get that amazing feeling back. So today is my day 4.

Oh well done and thank goodness @Railingsohno I was worried about you. A run was a great idea. Have you long left and have you any strategies in place to get you through the rest? I know I would find holiday very hard x

I've gone public to friends on Facebook this morning (totally outing if I know any of you!) about being on day 50 of 100 days no alcohol challenge. Reckon the responses will be interesting

Well done @fluckityfluckfluck I'm sure people will only have good things to say. You've done amazing.

Shit week here. I'm really fed up with myself. I said to dp last night 'why do we end up drinking every night when we say we won't' and his response was 'because we enjoy it and we're a long time dead.'

He isn't wrong. I do get in that frame of mind where I just think why not? What harm does it do? It's not like I'm going out and making a fool of myself or drinking bottles and bottles of wine. I'm literally having two drinks a night in the comfort of my own home to relax. So why do I still feel so bad about it? I'm all over the place at the moment. It's been an incredibly stressful week with work.

I do think there will come a day where I just think right enough. But I'm clearly not there yet.

Thanks Pat. Why don't you keep reading some of the recommended books while having the two drinks and see how you get on? Track your units and monitor how you feel?

Yeah I've got the Clare Pooley one on the go at the moment. Only a few pages in but hopefully it will give me a new perspective. I do feel OK, I'm not hungover or anxious (no more than usual anyway!) and I'm managing to do a few bits with ds, work and do the housework. So I suppose you think 'what harm is it doing' but I know deep down that's one of the ingrained attitudes that habitual drinkers all think and in reality it probably is making me less focused, energised and so on without me realising.

Tomorrow ds is at his dads and I plan to have a chill day after this manic week at work and just relax with my book in the sunshine. Maybe a bit of a rest and some me time will help.

Good for you Pat. Enjoy tomorrow

Welcome to all the newbies
@Poppy209 , it is hard to not drink when others around you are doing, well done .
@starskey80 you are like a lot of us , we spend so much time thinking about what days we are allowed to drink we give it far to much head space , and while I do not intend to stay AF permanently I am not drinking at all at the moment . I dont want to get to the stage of its Friday I can have a drink , sod it it is Thursday nearly Friday I can have a drink other wise I would let it creep up to Tuesdays !

@amethystlady We are all here with our own goals so go for it , we are not going to jump on you for having a drink
However I would say do be mind full about how much head space you give to 'can I drink today' it can take over a bit .

@Railingsohno ,
Been on holiday without having a drink would be hard impossible for me so very well done !

@fluckityfluckfluck,
Last year when I gave up someone else posted on face book that I had given up ( I wasnt hiding the fact but I could of done without them broadcasting it ! ) A lot were really supportive and I got of good for you type msgs , but there were some that annoyed me with comments like , dont be boring , I didnt know you had a drink problem , you will be not fun at parties, and one particularly inconsiderate swine that said well you dont want to end up the same way as your DH ( Dh was a heavy drinker and died a few years ago but it was not drink related )

I hope you get lots of positive comments , just be prepared for inconsiderate ones, and stick their post on snooze !

@Patbutcherismyhero
you are doing well , dont beat yourself up , as you said you are no longer over doing it and are getting control of the issue , Alcohol is a very addictive drug so it will take you a while to wean yourself off it .
Have you found a AF drink that you like ?
I have found that when I want a drink I work on the mind set ok I can have a proper drink but I will have a AF one first , then another ok one more AF before I have a proper one . by that stage the real craving has pasted me by .
I could not of got this far if I didn't have a good substitute .

I have also found that I fancy a drink when I am thirsty ( now I have wrote that down it seems rather obvious ! ) so a pint of tap water also helps stop the craving for a pint of cold cider , I realise it might not work if you are a wine / spirits drinker.

Good lord I did not mean to write a dissertation , sorry for the rambling .

Jesus @AlCalavicci I guess that's one way to figure who your actual friends are. How awful people can be, I'm so sorry to hear about your DH.

So true @ALCalavicci, the amount of time given to drink is depressing. And Thursday do very easily become Tuesdays.

I would like to be a take it or leave it drinker. As it is I suppose I'd be classed as a binge drinker.
I'd worry once the 30 days are up I'd would just slip back to my old ways. The good thing is that I've finally admitted my attitude to booze is not a healthy one. Hopefully this will help.

Sorry Railings, I think I'd struggle too. I wonder is some sober bloggers might have suggestions that make it easier. Well done for getting out for a run, hope the running helps. I imagine the first is always the hardest?? If it helps I realise on holidays I spent far too much energy thinking about the next drink- at least you are free of that!

Hope the sunshine is restful for you Pat, you sound like you are making progress, all our goals are different and sticking to a limit is good! I found booze free days near impossible unless we had no wine!

Amazing fluckity, hope the responses are good.
You're an inspiration!

Sorry AlCalavicci, that's rubbish. And sorry to hear re your DH.

Welcome Thetime!

Nice one Poppy!

Thank you all for the kind words , I realised at that point i have some very good friends and some truly crap ones . The crap ones are only on the very edge of my life now ( they would be out altogether but we have some good mutual friends )

Popping in to say goodnight all. My 2nd AF eve in a row in ages ;) One of the things that I remember reading somewhere sometime is that if you look on not drinking as denying yourself something it’s more difficult. Instead, the way to look at it is in reverse and to turn it into a positive “being kind to yourself” thing.....so substitute one thing you enjoy (too much) for other things. The weekend is coming up so any ideas??? I’ve lined up a good book, going shopping in the morning (when I won’t be as tempted by the wine aisle) for some nice food, magazines and posh cordial, I’m going to do my nails & watch a movie or two. Away from home for a while so everything is a bit different which is helping. Lovely post ALCalavicci. You’re obviously a lovely friend to have given the time you gave to us lot - the now-crap-friends loss is our gain!

Morning all. I'm working today and no kids tonight. I know I won't have a drink but I also know I'll have to resist a lot. Plan is to walk walk walk after work - I've 9 days without the kids looming. And I'm not working after today. I have stuff I want to do but this time - previously - would have involved an awful lot of alcohol.

@Poppy209 well done. @Railingsohno hope you are doing okay.

Happy Friday everyone

Hi OP, I just did a read through all your posts. Sorry you are feeling anxious right now - it is such a weird crap time in the world.

Sure you have considered it, but you sound like you would really benefit from a Dry Month. Doing a month is horribly hard at first but then gets easier and feels like a real achievement when you’ve done it. And with a month you can really see how much drinking is impacting your mental health (which sounds like quite a lot). At the end, you’ll feel so much more in control.

One good thing about a month is that IME friends and family are usually more supportive about going AF for a month challenge, rather than a vague ‘won’t drink tonight, ooh go on then’ occasional day.

Yes, I've always found a complete break resets my drinking so I moderate better. Doesn't last for me 🤣 hence the decision to quit BUT definitely does make a difference, resets the daily drinking pattern for sure.

Thank you lovely people 💗 I have no WiFi here and terrible reception so can’t post much. I managed to power on through and have found a lovely AF cider. Husband was great too - I am lucky. Went for a run again this morning, bloody hot here. Thanks again for your support @fluckityfluckfluck @AlCalavicci @NeedAUserNameAllTaken and sorry I think I may have missed someone, my phone is on the blink!