Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

Well done Fluckity that's a big hurdle and you got over it with the ease of a Usain Bolt!

Pat and Cherry I am in the same place as both of you, moderating not going completely AF. So far I am managing two or three days. I am still drinking a bit more that I would like, (about three bottles of wine a week at the moment) but I am drinking less than I was - have cut out the beers and gins I was drinking on top of at least three bottles of wine a week.

The frigging pandemic doesn't help. The little voice in my head says "the whole world is going to shit, so you may as well have some fun".

I have downloaded the myfitness pal thing and that is actually helping me as seeing the calories in black and white is quite, er, sobering!

Amazing Fluckity! So pleased for you!

Pat, that is a huge achievement and worth sharing, for sure! Moderation is really hard. I don't have the discipline for it; don't think I ever did 3 days! So many positive steps there, you're doing amazingly. As fluckity said we are all here with different goals, all equally as valid. Sorry re anxiety, I struggle with anxiety too, its horrible. I'm.glad you are finding things to help.

@fluckityfluckfluck , well done it just shows that if you are in the right frame of mind it is amazing what you can do . Been around people that have had a few to many is no fun when you are sober , they get so loud ! and repetitive .
In one of the pubs I worked we had a gent that came in every fri sat and sun , he was a nice guy but once he had had his 5th pint he would start repeating everything , we would here the story 1st on fri then 2 or three times on sat and sun , more often than not we would get them again the next week . ]

@Patbutcherismyhero , dont be so down on yourself , you have improved a huge amount over the past few weeks .
It is a long hard slog and some days are going to be harder than others but you will get there .

Morning all and thanks for the lovely messages. I'm definitely aiming for 100 days now, almost half way and according to the quit app I have its three months to see mental health/anxiety benefits in full.

I will re-evaluate then but feel like my main aim of not drinking out of habit and when home alone is achieved now.

Have a good week everyone x

It's very quiet - everyone ok?

Morning @fluckityfluckfluck.
All ok here , I have been working long and iregullar hours for a while but it is really getting to me atm, it is messing with my body clock and eating .
I hope you are doing ok .

How is everyone else ?

Nice one Fluckity!
I'm all good thanks, day 23 here!
How's everyone else?

I couldn't find this thread yesterday weirdly?

So, yesterday I went for a beach walk, my friend again suggests we go sit outside one of the bars so we can catch up properly. Sun was shining, tide was out and..... I had a Diet Coke

I'm feeling like I really can achieve my goal of no drinking until 5pm friday. I'll be honest, the calories I've discovered I'm saving by not drinking is enough motivation!

Oh good I thought maybe I'd pissed people off by being so pleased with myself - no one likes a smug asshole so sorry if I was too gushy with it

Well done @Cherrybakewellll that's a step in the right direction! @NeedAUserNameAllTaken 23 days is over 3 weeks sober, amazing!

I've had a bad week so far. I've found lockdown and working from home really hard this week. I'm incredibly busy at work but also have my ds at home and I'm just totally burnt out and stressed. Trying to plan things for the summer holidays but everything is hard work, book ahead, restricted and there just doesn't seem to be much joy in any of it. I've been feeling very stressed, struggling to sleep and drank Monday and Tuesday which isn't a good start to the week for me. I've started to realise that once that nice initial feeling of the alcohol kicking in wears off it actually doesn't make me feel any better. If anything I get more irritable and it heightens my low mood. But that's not surprising as we all know it's a depressive. I'm not going to lie, I'm fed up with everything including myself.

@AlCalavicci a lack of routine definitely doesn't help. The weather is crap here and not going out for a walk yesterday made me twitchy and uneasy all day.

Well done @NeedAUserNameAllTaken you are racking up the days! And @Cherrybakewellll that's awesome. I've been asked on a date this weekend - now someone tell me how the hell to have a first date sober

@Patbutcherismyhero Working from hone is such hard work with dc. And agree re the level of restrictions etc. We went to a woodland park last week and I couldn't go buy anything in the cafe because I forgot my mask - so much to think about.

Can you find anything to reward to end of the day isn't alcohol? Anything to try and break the cycle? Be kind to yourself it's a stressful difficult time

@fluckityfluckfluck a date! How exciting! Could you do something that doesn't involve alcohol like a walk or a trip to a museum or something like that? Or maybe a lunch date rather than evening where you can say you're driving later in the day? Or just be honest.

Yes I've been working with ds home since March but for some reason this week has just sent me over the edge. Alcohol isn't even a reward anymore it's just a habit. I'm stuck in some very frustrating and unhealthy ruts. As I said before I have the exact same issue with food. I desperately need to lose weight and I wake up daily thinking today will be the day I eat better and stay sober yet come 5pm I'm pigging out and cracking open the booze. It's like Groundhog Day and I'm just so tired of it.

You know the alcohol is fueling the anxiety and making it worse right? It's a devil for that. You think it makes it go right? And it does, for the period you're drinking. But it comes back stronger and harder the next day, so that you'll pick up that next drink to stop it again.

I can tell you hand on heart, a sober life will make you happier and healthier, both physically and mentally. I'm about to hit 11 months sober, and I was late stage alcoholic.

What about trying 16/8 @Patbutcherismyhero? The idea is you eat during a 8 hour window (I do 11-7) and fast the other 16 (black tea, coffee and diet soda okay just no calories)

There is no restriction on food types amounts or calories - but it gives me a structure that stops the mindless snacking in the evening and has tonnes of other health benefits in addition to weight loss

I've told him I'm doing the 100 day no alcohol challenge so no need to lie, but I find dating very difficult with drink so not sure if I'll go through with it. It's an online thing and I've not met him before so no idea if I will actually find him attractive etc

@Patbutcherismyhero I am using My Fitness Pal and it helps to see the calories of everything (including wine!). I have lost a little weight using it as it does help to be more aware of what I am eating.

I am sticking well to having at least two days AF per week. Day three at the moment (well the day isn't over yet!). Now I just need to cut down a bit more when I do drink. I am starting to feel like I am in control of the drink instead of the other way around.

@theemmadilemma well done on 11 months, coming back from that stage must have been very hard.

Morning All, Can I join in? Want to cut back massively. Haven’t rtft but have lurked (4 too long) on many others. Saving reading this one for early evening which is my danger time ;/ Its that first (which is rarely the only) drink that’s the mistake for me. Looking forward to waking up tomorrow feeling sanctimonious!!! See you later....have lovely days everyone;)

I'd like to join too please.

I used to enjoy a drink a few times a week, but recently I've been drinking more and more in quantity and every night and using it to deal with my anxiety.

It's becoming a problem. I'm doing less, always dehydrated and nauseous in the mornings, look and feel like shit.

I don't feel able or ready to quit completely. I know I wouldn't stick to that. My goal for now is to moderate.

To have at least one alcohol free night a week preferably two.
To resist saying fuck it and starting before the evening meal is finished.
To go to bed earlier so I don't drink as much.

It would be great to join in.

Hi all, Can I join ?

Have also struggled with how much I drink. For about 4 years I've had that horrible anxiety and fear after a night drinking wine. I also have the bad habit of drinking at home, alone.
I was drinking up to 5-6 bottles of wine a week, generally over a 3-4 day period.
I can do AF free days during the week, but you know yourselfs, a stressful work week can bring that to zero AF days.

I've begun reading Allen Carrs Easyway to control Alcohol, and The Alcohol Experiment: 30 day challenge.... and have been having many Aha moments.... especially the internal fighting going on. There's that little voice that has been forming over the years that will say, ' It's Thursday, it's been a hard week, you deserve wine, sure everyone else will be drinking'.... and the other voice that knows I don't want it or need it, in fact I'm not even enjoying the taste anymore.

And yet, like clockwork, on Thursday I will head to the shop and almost sleep walk my way to buying two bottles.

I've got a stone and a half I've been struggling to shift for three years, again, I KNOW it's the wine, but then come thursday will lie to myself that it's not the wine, I walked enough that week to 'earn' wine.
All bullshit.

I'm sick of being fat, I'm sick of bloat and waking at three and four in the morning, unable to get back to sleep. I'm ready for a serious change.

What's been worrying me for a while is how functional I am after a bottle and a half of wine. The next day I should be sick, but I'm not. I can function just fine, sort kids, work, run around getting stuff done.

This plays into the hands of the little alco Voice that tells me it's not affecting my everyday life, so carry on.

But it is, I'm anxious, think wayyyyyy too much about wine, and feel fat and gross.
There's loads more I could be doing, I'm definitly so much more productive on AF days, and happier.
I love my sleep, and love when I sleep without wine.

Well done Fluckity, you are an inspiration.

And don't beat yourself up Patbutcher, if it was easy we wouldnt be here.

The good thing about the books I'm reading is it points out all the lies the little voice tells us, falsehoods we have been fed since childhood that we believe to be true.
Adults do not need a glass of wine after a working day to relax. We don't need it to have fun.
I keep telling myself this, I'm trying to change my thinking.

I find if I don't have a drink by 7-8pm I just dont bother. So these are my triggering times. I will try to do something to distract myself at
these times.

I'm on day 4 of 30 days dry, I will hope to increase this, but for now the aim is 30 :)

Good luck ladies :)

Welcome all newbies and thanks for the kind words @starskey80. The week before Pat started this thread I'd drank myself stupid with my neighbours on a Wednesday night, vomited for the second time that month and couldn't drive to work the next morning - so I really had reached a place where I was desperate for change.

Clare Pooleys book the Sober Diaries refers to that voice as the wine witch @starskey80 I found her book the best of all I'd read as hers was the most relatable to my experience, although I'm divorced and working. Good luck everyone, keep posting

Not sure how I managed the random bold text - sorry!

Hello @amethystlady @Poppy209 @starskey80

This is a supportive thread which I hope we can keep going - no judgement or expectations, we all have individual goals.

Thanks @Fluckityfluckfluck

About three weeks ago I was in a friend's house and managed to guzzle wine till half four in the morning, talked total shite and then had The Fear for days. Not worth it.
I'd really enjoyed the night, until I got drunk. I hate the feeling.

I'm divorced too, and I think a lot of it started after we split. I would literally drink for oblivion. But now I'm much happier so no need or want for the oblivion feeling. It's just become an annoying habit I want to break.

I'd like to be able to just have a couple of glasses of wine when out for a meal and that be it.... Not sure I entirely trust myself. Will have to see how I feel after the 30 days.

I was thinking the other day, with the exception of two pregnancies, since I've been 18 I have never had a long period of sobriety. Although I didnt have issues as such in my 20's. I drank to be social and it was fun.
It was a lonely marriage and then divorce that kinda led to the at home alone drinking that I want to cut out.
It's a bit sad-old-spinster-y for me, lol.

I will have a look out for that book, thanks.

This is funny, but I've ordered a few Mills&Boon books from amazon --- runs away in shame lol.
Not read them since I was 17 as I was far too snobby a reader to pick them up again, but I just remember finding them so silly and great brain fluff I thought they'd be a good way to relax, instead of the wine.

I'll let you know if the help :)

Thanks for the welcome Darcy, I've been reading for awhile and the supportive ladies already on the thread had me joining :)