Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

@Patbutcherismyhero that is brilliant!!!! Just keep going. It’s such a great feeling the next morning isn’t it?! 💗

@fluckityfluckfluck. That’s brilliant. Can you maybe go out for a walk/run/do yoga? I find that my day unfolds much better if I exercise in the morning.

@fluckityfluckfluck what’s the 40th/housewarming dilemma?

Just back from a 10k walk! Great minds railing

Dilemma is dramatic - basically my first proper social event where I would be expected to and always drink. And where I won't know others except for host and one friend. And I'm not used to going to stuff single either. So lots of issues...

@fluckityfluckfluck

Just back from a 10k walk! Great minds railing

Dilemma is dramatic - basically my first proper social event where I would be expected to and always drink. And where I won't know others except for host and one friend. And I'm not used to going to stuff single either. So lots of issues...

Oh well done!!!

I would aim to stay AF. I actually found socialising without alcohol easier than I thought. So nice not to worry about doing something stupid too. I am a bit quieter than I was when drinking but that wasn’t a bad thing. I don’t drunken monologue and have much better 2 way conversations.

I would get yourself a nice outfit, do your nails hair etc... and stay AF. You may have a better time!

Well done @Patbutcherismyhero

@fluckityfluckfluck, I agree with railing . Maybe if you don't know many people there that's actually an advantage? At least you won't have to negotiate a roomful of people who would usually expect you to be drinking and will be surprised you're not. You've done so amazingly well, I bet you can manage this with no problem.

I had a couple of AF beers yesterday evening as we were barbequing, as did DH. That's really good going for us as we'd definitely have opened and finished at least a bottle of wine a few weeks ago. I must admit I did have a little wobble at first - it seemed odd not to have a chilled glass of white in my hand on such a glorious summer evening. But it was absolutely fine after a few mins and I didn't think of it anymore once I was eating

Amazing going @pat you are doing yourself proud!

Well done on your AF Saturday Pat. Heres to completing the weekend with an AF Sunday. Everything crossed for you. Tomorrow is day 200 for me. It has gone so quickly. You can do this!

Well done @Patbutcherismyhero! Amazing! Its so Nice to wake up fresh on a Sunday right?

Sorry you are missing the kids @fluckityfluckfluck, hope the walk helped. Could you drive to the party? Then you have a clear reason not to drink? Or just say you're having a break? Reading the replies I think I'd also chose AF as at least that would also be guilt and worry free the next day; used to hate the beer fear the next day. Won't miss that! And then all your wonderful hard work isn't derailed too!

Glad the AF beers helped @BoxAndKnife! I've just discovered they taste even better after a quick stint in the freezer.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Yesterday was strange. Went to the pub in the afternoon with family who were all drinking. No issues for me there, I was designated driver and had no desire to drink anyway I just wanted to sit out in the sun for a while.

Then later when I got home I ended up pouring a drink because it's been nearly 4 days and I deserve it (I know, I know) but as I started drinking it I just wasn't enjoying it. It wasn't doing anything other than giving me a slight headache and it just seemed pointless to continue so I poured it down the sink after drinking probably less than half. Don't get me wrong there have been many times when I can quite easily guzzle a glass down and enjoy the effect but when that's not happening either due to tiredness or simply not being in the mood or whatever it just seems like a total waste.

I hope I still can count it as an AF day!

Sorry guys the previous post was me after another NC!

It sounds like you are definitely getting into a good mindset Pat, well done!

It's Monday which means it's AF day again, I'm aiming to be AF until Thursday and then share a bottle of red with my husband.
For me being completely AF is just not something i see for myself but I do want to take control and cut down, mainly for calorie purposes. So that's my goal. Hospital is gonna be stressful tomorrow and possibly horrendous news so that'll be a test of strength tomorrow evening.

Hell yes you can Pat, amazing! I think that's worth 2 AF days to be honest - you must feel amazing.

I had a super active day yesterday, walking 10k then cutting the grass and pottering in the garden. Have the Claire Pooley book on audible and pottered with my headphones on.

Today I've arranged to go on a walk with a colleague I don't know that well socially, am starting to get braver and reach out to people to fill the time without the kids.

Happy Monday everyone. Keep posting and keep trying - every AF day is a win

Thinking of you Cherry, stressful times indeed. Please be kind to yourself. Can you maybe plan something nice this evening?

@Cherrybakewellard I hope everything goes well at the hospital, do let us know won't you? Hopefully it will be good news.

I'm much like you in my goals, can't see myself ever being totally AF but wanting to have bigger gaps between drinking days and try to see alcohol as a treat rather than a everyday necessity. For calorie intake as much as anything else!

@fluckityfluckfluck what a productive weekend you've had! You must be shedding those lbs with all that exercise and I bet you feel good mentally for it too. Hope your walk goes well. It's great that you are reaching out in ways you might not have before.

Typical that I've just had a call to say appointment is now Thursday. Although that sort of works for the AF situation because now I have no excuse for any wine before then!

I think you're right @Patbutcherismyhero it's about having control and balance rather than it just being an easy habit.

Hi everyone! I passed 8 weeks on Friday, dad has caved a couple of times though. Feeling SO much better!! Can't believe I used to drink like that, it's mad!

This evening I am medicating with Heineken zero and a giant slab of chocolate - I can highly recommend it

Hi everyone , it sounds like we all had a good weekend

@fluckityfluckfluck how on earth do you walk 10k I had to walk 2.5 to work at the start of the lock down when there were no buses , I was knackered by the time i got there ( mind you carrying a 8 kg rucksack and wearing steal toecaps dosen't induce me to sprint ! ) I am on the chocolate too , Belgium choc cheese cake from tescos , very nice .

@Patbutcherismyhero it sounds like you have turned a corner , its a odd feeling actually not wanting a drink rather than just knowing you shouldnt have one isnt it .

I dont know if it will work for everyone but I was talking to a friend at weekend who said he was trying to cut down too , he is a wine drinker , so he splits a bottle of wine between several plastic milk bottles so they each only have a small glass of wine in them then freezes them.
he then has to wait until each one has defrosted ( he wont allow himself to take more than one at a time out of the freezer ) so he still has a glass of wine most nights but it stops him from knocking a couple back as soon as he gets home from work .

I had a single rum on Sunday night but other than that I have been AF for the week .

Pleased to report I'm AF tonight. Unfortunately I've had Diet Coke which means caffeine but I can't do without it all in one go.

We've agreed no alcohol until Thursday. So here's aiming for tomorrow.

@AlCalavicci that’s quite a sad story.

@Cherrybakewellard well done!

Gave in and had a couple of drinks last night but once again didn't fully enjoy and half way through the night had that 'why am I doing this' feeling again.

Disappointed in myself for ruining the longest dry spell I've had in a while but it's shown me that I don't need or even want it on a regular weeknight. It just feels pointless. As @AlCalavicci says there is a difference between not wanting to drink rather than just feeling like you shouldn't drink and I think I'm experiencing that now.

I fell into the trap of the witching hour again last night, this is usually when I go on my mad snacking binges too - I ate three packets of crisps one after the other last night so I really need to find a way to deal with that time of day instead of falling into these bad eating and drinking habits. I do feel a lot more confident for the rest of the week now though.

@Patbutcherismyhero well done, even though you caved, you realised half way through that you didn’t really want it. It’s all progress.

For me what helped was thinking about why I wanted a drink at a given time. What was my trigger. And working from there. It’s been quite eye opening! Drinking numbs things. Why do we need to do that?

Have you read Claire Pooley describing giving up alcohol/trying to moderate with the field of bunnies/obstacle course analogy? I was listening to it yesterday and it made so much sense to me

@fluckityfluckfluck is she pro moderating? I’m trying to avoid getting sucked back in so only want to read abstaining literature/podcasts. Thanks!

No - she talks about the futility and exhaustion associated with moderation for anyone who has realised they have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

The book is called the sober diaries - I have it through audible - let me see if I can find that passage somewhere to link x