Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

So it's Monday. I managed 2 nights of no drinking last week, which sounds crap but when you consider I haven't had an alcohol free evening since February, I feel like it's a start.
I've got on the scales today and I'm nearly 12 stone so it's planned to be no drinking until Friday this week.

So it's Monday. I managed 2 nights of no drinking last week, which sounds crap but when you consider I haven't had an alcohol free evening since February, I feel like it's a start.
I've got on the scales today and I'm nearly 12 stone so it's planned to be no drinking until Friday this week.

@user2085375632 there are those in the sober sphere who think everyone who drinks alcohol “has a problem” because, ultimately, alcohol is a toxic, addictive substance and everyone who drinks alcohol is, to a greater or lesser extent, addicted.

You can’t really argue with the chemistry and what it does to our bodies and minds.

@Piglet89

I understand what you’re saying but a lot of things make me feel good - really nice food (food addiction is a thing), a long hike or a run (exercise addiction is a thing), morning coffee (caffeine addiction is a thing), buying something nice (shopping addiction is a thing). In the same way that I manage my feelings for all of the above and keep them to a reasonable level ie I don’t over indulge in any of the above even though I like how they make me feel, some people can happily only have a couple of drinks a week and never want any more than that.

However, with alcohol, I have to make a conscious effort to not drink more than a certain amount. I wonder why it’s alcohol for me and shopping, exercise, caffeine, gambling for others. I find it an interesting subject.

Happy Monday everyone.

So I managed Mon/Tues/Weds AF, no problem. By Thurs I really fancied a drink, my DH poured himself a G&T and I caved - because I had the next day off, the usual excuses. 6 units.
I had allowed myself to drink Fri & Sat night because we were away. A bottle of prosecco Fri night was 9 units over 5 hours. Saturday I really outdid myself; had a glass of wine at lunch, then went for a walk and to the pub, by the time I went to bed at 1am I had managed 2 bottles of wine in the course of the day. 18 units. I slept badly, had palpitations and felt the guilt.

So over the week that's 4 AF days (which I should be pleased about) but I've packed in 33 units over 3 days. That is an insane amount. I just don't know what is wrong with me. Well - I do - yes, I know I have a problem with alcohol, as some people helpfully like to point out on this thread! Yes, I have a problem with alcohol which I'm trying to improve.

I'll take 4 AF days as a positive, and also there's been weeks where I've had more than 33 units, easily. I'm not buying any wine til the weekend when we have people over and I will be AF Mon to Thurs. I will do that. The next thing I need to address is the capacity I drink. And yes, I understand that it might be better for me to not drink at all.

God I just feel like such a shit person!

@Piglet89

I think most people are trying to self soothe in some way, to some extent. On this thread, we’re a group of people who are doing that with alcohol but other people self soothe in other ways. In fact, pretty much everyone I know from the extreme fell runner to the internet shopping overspender are self soothing to some extent, in their own way.

@Cherrybakewellard well done, that's a great start. I weigh similar to you and really do feel like I need to get my snacking and drinking habits in check. Prior to lockdown I'd lost quite a bit of weight and I'm so cross with myself for letting it creep back on.

@TazSyd I agree with your addiction analogy. We all do things that perhaps aren't good for us because they are enjoyable whether it's eating cake, drinking booze or whatever. I think alcohol is one of the more damaging and addictive substances though.

@Sauvignonismysaviour you are not a shit person! You still had 4 AF days this week. I've mirrored you to be honest - 4 AF days. A couple of pointless drinks in the week just because I fancied it and then a big binge when i went out. I dread to think how many units I sank that night. We are all a work in progress. We don't have to deprive ourselves completely, that was never the aim. We just need to make healthier choices which you have done by having half of the week AF - surely an improvement on nightly drinking. I'm aiming to do a full AF week and see how I feel.

@Sauvignonismysaviour

You aren’t a shit person. Your mind and body now expect to have alcohol and it might take a while to wean yourself off it. My best tip would be to read up and educate yourself about how your mind and body are reacting, so that you are better able to deal with it.

If you are shit then we are all shit Sauvignon. Be kind to yourself x

We are all a work in progress

This is absolutely true.

As you say even 1 AF night a week, if you have been drinking every night, is a step in the right direction and 3 is even better.

Please be kind to yourselves, it’s a lot harder for some people to cut back on alcohol than it is for others, for many reasons. The fact that you are even in this thread is a good start 💐.

@fluckityfluckfluck

If you are shit then we are all shit Sauvignon. Be kind to yourself x

Gosh yes, this. 100%. We are all in the same boat. Don't beat yourself up @Sauvignonismysaviour, treat yourself with kindness and compassion

I found Quit like a girl really good for examining how women beat themselves up and how this just feeds the addiction cycle and unhealthy behaviour. We don't need to give ourselves a hard time, that's what probably got us into this mess

Hi all

First off Sauvignonismysaviour you are not a shit person! Cutting down is hard. Thank you for being honest. I was hesitating to come on to the thread and 'fess up my total for this week but you did so I will.

I was AF Mon-Wedns. Thurs-Sun I drank a total of two and three quarter bottles (I like to be exact!) of wine and one small beer. So units around 27 I expect.

Hello! Please may I join? This thread has really resonated with me, so much so that I've actually signed up to Mumsnet. My drinking has always been a little much but loosely held; that said I drank most days. Lock down I've been dreadful so been reigning it in a bit BUT now it's just more on the days I allow. I've been really inspired by those of you going AF and think I need to try this- have done over the years but given up or celebrated completing with fizz, so perhaps a rewire is needed. I too think life without booze doesn't sound fun but then maybe why I need to do something???!!
Would love to be a part of the group and share our successes. Decided today to give AF a go, may be 30 days? Seems huge but I need a change.
Thanks for having me and good luck all xx

Welcome Need. So many of us seem to have drunk more during lockdown, you are not alone!

Thank you :)

I’d really recommend ‘Sober Mummy’ by Claire Pooley, it really helped me cut back and I’ve only had one night of drinking (lightly) since the end of May. It really helped as she would go through the scenarios of what would happen if she drank but also really positive about the sober ones. I find if I go through the whole thing (2-3 hours relaxing with a drink followed by bad sleep and a day feeling tired and guilty) and that usually stops me.

Also, when I want to drink I eat a few biscuits as that really does help, as often I think it’s a sugar thing, and a few biscuits isn’t as bad for my self esteem as a bottle of Prosecco!

Can we all confess that we all do the awkward inside giggle to ourselves when there's an alcohol thread and so many Mn users start harping on about how they don't drink? Good for them but it's not reality for me.

Thank you User208 will check that out.
Lol Cherrybake, totally. I always think/hope they must be making it up??!!!
Decided to do 30 days AF inspired by you all. Will keep you posted....

Yeah, I may have put on a couple of pounds but at least I never vomited into my handbag, fought with my loved ones in the street, fell over in public, pissed myself or lost an entire weekend after 'a few Friday night biscuits'

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/books/2016/jan/22/the-outrun-amy-liptrot-review-by-will-self

I’d like to recommend a beautiful book. The review says it all. The Outrun by Amy Liptrot.

Gosh I barely made it through that review without wanting a drink

This thread has resonated with me too. I used to be a pretty heavy drinker in my twenties and early thirties. Calmed down when I had dc, but it's crept up a bit during lockdown. I still probably rarely drink over the weekly recommended limit because I only drink once or twice a week, but with wine I have no off switch. I hate the anxious feelings the next day and I always regret it when I've drunk too much, even if I know I didn't do or say anything problematic.

I listened to the first few episodes of the This Naked Mind podcast and it's great. She's right- you don't need to wait until you really 'have a problem' to give up. There are plenty of reasons to. I like the way she frames it as "I don't have to put that in my body any more" rather than "I don't get to drink any more". I genuinely want to give up, but I keep not giving up!

@fluckityfluckfluck

The book is beautiful. The review describes it well but the review is heavier than the book, if that makes sense!

I think it’s easier to give up completely than try and moderate. It has been for me anyway.

Good luck everyone. I’m nearly 6 months AF. A habitual rather than really problematic drinker but it took up a lot of my brain space. Also used it to self medicate in the evenings when I was finding the kids hard work.