Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

DP and I have just had an AF weekend. Looking forward to waking up without a fuzzy head tomorrow . Hope everyone is having a good weekend too.

Awesome Taz! Today is day 25 for me. I tried to do dry January about 6 years ago when still married and each day felt like hell. I was angry and miserable every Friday and Saturday because I couldn't drink. I lasted until the third weekend when then DH threatened me with divorce if I didn't drink as I was making the house so awful.

I'm looking back at that time now and don't even recognise myself. Isn't time the strangest thing. I think I turned to alcohol then as there was so many battles I was fighting that it's created an automatic reflex in me. I'm so much happier now, but lonely at times. This break has shown me that alone does not have to equal excessive wine. And that I need to be kind to myself and my body.

Morning all. I had a couple of gins last night and slept terribly. Usually that small amount wouldn't affect my sleep - sometimes it actually helps me sleep so bit annoyed about that. Pleased to say I've had 4 AF nights this week though. And will try and stick to or improve on that again this week. I have to say I haven't missed drinking as much as I thought I would. It's just that trigger time between 6-8 during the week that sometimes still gets me. But if I can cut out weeknight drinking I'll feel a lot better.

Well done to you all. Hope you all have a peaceful and hangover free Sunday x

@fluckityfluckfluck

Well done on the 25 days!

Are you living alone? I was a heavy drinker when I lived alone, I think it was boredom to start with, then it became a habit. I’d definitely recommend having a list of alternative things to do, that you can pick up whenever you get a craving. It only takes 5 minutes for a craving to pass, so if you can distract yourself for 5 minutes, the craving will go.

Yes Taz when the kids aren't here I'm alone, and I share custody so without the 3 or 4 evenings a week.

Feeling very grateful for the sunshine today. Off to Dunham Massey for a long walk a and a picnic. Have a good day everyone and thanks for all the support

Hi Pat what a great week you've had! My sleep has been all over the place, think it takes a while for our bodies to adjust to the changes we are putting them through

Have a good day at Dunham Massey. We went for a big walk yesterday (slept really well last night as we were tired, even DD didn’t wake up until 8).

Today is more of a chores day but it’s a nice day, so we’ll hopefully get out later on for a walk round our local park.

Hi all, can I join in? I think my alcohol intake Is creeping up. It was a problem years ago in my early teens and again for a few months in uni, but since then I've largely been able to take or leave it. I'm also a painkiller addict although stopped and on a subutex script.
I notice that when I have periods of drinking I can go ott, for example christmas drinking carrying well into January and having to make an effort to stop it.
Since lockdown my alcohol intake has increased. Everything else has improved, my diet, my sleep, my exercise and fitness. But I've got a taste for prosecco and where a few weeks ago I made myself only buy a bottle a week and have some AF days, the past 2 weeks I've drank pretty much every night. I'm not physically addicted, and it is max 2 glasses an evening but for me its the mental association. Wine helps me relax, its that relaxed sigh after the first mouthful. Last night I realised I'd had 19units that week and resolved not to drink. Then I thought fuck it, why not, I'm an adult, I enjoy it and so I had 2 glasses. Its the fact that I said I wouldbt but did anyway and its signifying that maybe its starting to creep into a problem like the January drinking. Even as recently as last month I wouldnt have a glass if I didnt fancy it but now I always fancy it it seems.
I've told myself no alcohol tonight , and I've bought some posh firefly soft drinks. Ice every reason not to drink - I have work I'm the morning, I'm trying to eat nutritious food that's good for my body, and most of all I'm determined to get one night in. I wont stop drinking full stop - but of I could get back to a glass a night and 3 nights AF I'd be happy. Just dont know if I can do it
I sometimes do NA for the painkillers but really dont feel alcohol is a massive issue so dont want to discuss in meetings

I've had a productive morning so far
Smoothie for breakfast, I hooveted and sorted my wardrobe out and been for a lovely walk. Am just returning home from walk for lunch. I live with live in landlady and family and they're returning today which makes me anxious. Shes controlling and moans a lot and doesnt help anxiety. Hope shes not there when I get back.
Lunch is gonna be a chicken salad wrap, and then an afternoon of colouring, reading and tv
Tea is gonna be garlic and herb pork loin with jewelled couscous. But after tea and before bed is my chill time, where I watch TV and drink wine. I know I'm going to be tempted but know I shouldnt do it.

Love the sound of the garlic and herb pork loin @Madein1995! Welcome to the thread ☺️

AF weekend so far for me. Have found it absolutely fine - in fact my couple of glasses on Friday night put me off and made me realise how much better I feel without booze. So now I'm aiming to be AF for the next month. In August we are away for the weekend and have a very special meal planned on the Sat night - I probably will share a bottle of wine with DH then, but that's fine.

DH is away Mon-Fri this coming week so there won't be anyone else drinking in the house and I am aiming to be super-productive I have a couple of projects I want to get my teeth into that I keep putting off because it's so much easier just to flake out on the sofa together of an evening with a bottle of wine - but not this week!

@AlCalavicci Your experience with the guy being a dick about your not drinking is hopefully fairly unusual. It strongly suggests to me that he was aware he has issue with alcohol himself and was not pleased to be reminded about it.

I think for most people who actually have our bestr interests at heart (and obviously we don't want the others in our lives anyway) saying you are trying to be healthier/early start or my go to - it stops me sleeping so well. Also live rurally here so volunteering to be the driver is s good one. Thanks to everyone on this thread btw, I am finding it helpful too.

Just popping in to say this is a really good thread for partners of drinkers too- dp is a daily drinker whereas I haven't had a drink since lockdown. I'm not teetotal and enjoy a couple of pints at the pub every now and again but I've never really 'got ' home drinking - to me it's a social thing I associate with chatting, dancing etc. This thread has helped me understand his mindset for drinking every day and also made me realise the amount he's drinking is actually quite modest in some ways.

OP, you sound like you’re doing really well on cutting back, but in all honesty reading through your posts one after the other you are doing a lot of reassuring people you definitely DONT have a problem.... Also, if you weigh up the amount of time you spend thinking about booze and when to drink it, working out how much you’ve had, what you are going to have, regretting booze and feeling hung over, it amounts to a load more time than you actually spend drinking. You have to question if it’s worth it.

To me it sounds like you are defo in a grey area as you seem to be finding it very hard to manage.

@user2085375632 I'm not really sure what to say to that. I don't disagree with you. I probably do have some level of dependency and I definitely have spent too many days hungover. And yes i probably do still give when and what to drink too much headspace. It would be nice to be in the 'take or leave it' camp.

But on the other hand I've managed 4 days AF this week. Which is a massive cut back. I don't think I've denied having a problem, I've just spoken honestly about my relationship with booze and the reasons why I drink. If by 'problem' you mean something I need professional/medical help with then I don't think I'm at that stage. Not when I can cut it out easily and recognise the reasons why I need to.

Honestly the hangover from hell switched my brain from always fancying a glass to not really being keen anymore.

I don't even always drink on nights out now because I remember that hangover. It lasted three days and gave me insomnia

Also exercise! You feel great afterwards and don't want to ruin it with booze. When your sweating rivets for 300 calories you don't want to spend it on a glass of wine

Oh and embroidery weirdly keeps the hands busy

Hope everyone has had a lovely Sunday and here’s to another AF week!

Sorry OP, just read my post back and it didn’t sound very nice - I didn’t mean it to come across like that. You’re doing really well, it’s just exhausting trying to control something that’s just not quite in control, I know the feeling of it well!

I've had a double 'clean' gin from Sainsbury's and very nice it was too. Here's to next week being as sober as you wish it to be. I feel so much better in myself

@candycane222
You are right I think his attitude says a lot more about his drinking habits rather than mine , but that is his problem not mine so he can bugger off with his attitude > sulking a bit

Well I achieved my goal not to drink tonight! Really fancied one but powered through. Will prob have one tomorrow but I feel proud I stuck to my guns x

@AlCalavicci I think as a non home drinker to me drinking daily seems really excessive, so it's been useful to read other people's experiences and thoughts. Dp would say there's nothing wrong with the amount he drinks and to be fair although he does drink daily it's not huge amounts. It's actually been better since lockdown as he'll drink a little each day rather than having a load at the pub on a weekend. I think my views may be a little skewed as my parents are quite heavy drinkers. I just never want it at home, its not worth feeling shite the next day!

A lot of people have sugar withdrawals when they quit / cut back on alcohol. I think it’s ok to have a (watered down) sugary drink or a handful of jelly babies, if it keeps the alcohol craving at bay.

I’d usually have an elderflower and sparkling water in the summer and a hit chocolate in the winter.

Oh the sugar craving is REAL! I've been baking a lot since lockdown, which means there are always cakes in the kitchen. Last night I scarfed two not-small pieces of Nigella's lemon-iced gingerbread cake and some birthday chocolates. I have put on weight since giving up the booze, which is quite distressing but I reckon a couple of extra pounds is worth it to be AF.