To ask for your weirdest / most vivid dream. (Gross trigger warning for mine!!)

[IchWill]

Had a mad dream last night, got me sharing my oddest dream on Facebook tonight to friends. So I want to hear yours. Anything spooky / prophetic welcome too.

I have really detailed and bizarre dreams, my DP is often gobsmacked by the odd shit I wake up remembering.

The weirdest dream I ever had... I was working in some seedy two-bob knocking shop. Like you'd see on The Bill, or something. A self contained flat with paint peeling from the walls.

Anyway, my next client came in, and I casually said to him (without turning around) "Wash your knob in the sink, there's a love." (I remember, I got this line from a old Lily Savage stand-up quote).

In a nasal twang he replied to me, "Don't you know who I am?"

I span round to see "Boycey" from Only Fools and Horses. "MARLEEEENE!"

I made him wash his knob in the sink still.

He wanted a blow job. After he washed it I knelt down to prepare to get ready for action.

Thank FUCK that I woke up at this point. 🤢🤮😂

Yes, I know. I'm obviously very weird.

[CaptainAthena]

I always have the unsuitable toilets dream but I always wake up needing to go so that feels understandable!

Neglected pets, losing teeth, secret room in the house (often horrible and haunted), all of them too.

The packing dreams too, so stressful - I'm usually in a house I've lived in previously and all my crap is in there and then I realise I'm not supposed to still be there and the current owners are coming back and I have to quickly pack up and get out - I have this at least once a week and I hate it!

I had a deeply romantic sexy dream about Dominic Raab the other night and it's scarred me for life

[Mascotte]

@Miriel yes, that's the feeling.

[TorysSuckRevokeArticle50]

I very very rarely remember my dreams, when I do remember them it's because they were absolutely bloody horrible.

Last one I remember I was in a house and people were being massacred, there were dead bodies piled deep in every room, on the staircase, everywhere and I was wading through them and burying myself under them to hide. It was really awful and I knew it was a dream but couldn't wake up.

[Chicchicchicchiclana]

Lol at Martin Clunes

[TheSherbetTurbot]

Lots of dreams about derelict, dirty places that I've got to move in to and make into a home.
Also, I tend to get picked up and thrown around by demons rather a lot, and wake myself up screaming.
Oh, and 2 nights ago I'd gone to stay in a spa hotel so my best friend could buy blinds from their resident interior designer, I fell asleep on a very narrow balcony and a strange looking fella with a massive grinning face pushed me off it. As I was falling I was screaming 'I hate you!'

[Stopthehop]

I have the neglected pets one too.

I have dreams a lot where I'm trying to get ready for work and things keep happening to stop me so I'm getting later and later.

The other night I dreamt that I had been sent a cheque for 70k as compensation after seeing someone die in front of me. I was just going through what I was going to spend the money on when I woke up. I was a bit gutted all day it wasn't real.

[Thelnebriati]

I dreamt my late aunt was on a bus (that had net curtains) and she mouthed at me that I was going to win the Pools. I don't do the pools, but she used to.

[Laiste]

@Stopthehop - I have dreams a lot where I'm trying to get ready for work and things keep happening to stop me so I'm getting later and later.

Oh my version of this is suddenly realising i've forgotten to go to pick the kids up from school! You know they're waiting for you and the other parents and kids have all gone and then the awful wading through treacle rather than being able to hurry. Ugh.

[Time40]

I used to have the neglected pets one, but I haven't had it for ages - years. I wonder what it means when one of these dreams stops?

Another one that stopped a few years ago is being back at school, college or university studying for exams, although I knew that I was out of place, and there was no reason to do the re-take, as I didn't need the qualifications. In the dream, I could never understand what I was doing there, and I couldn't understand why I didn't just leave.

[Wishywashywoppwoo]

When I was younger i had a vivid nightmare that the 3 witches from hocus pocus were chasing me down the street on their brooms! Woke up terrified

As an adult my weirdest dream was being in Manchester Centre & giant charging ports appeared from the ground for my phone, i fell backwards into a dock of some sort and was being dragged backwards through the water

I remember looking up at the water above me thinking, this is it, im going to die now....... then i woke up! It was weird

[wendywoopywoo222]

I have so many weird dreams. The one that still makes me laugh was I was on a maternity ward legs in stirrups giving birth. Nurse wraps it up in a yellow blanket and happily passes it to me saying congratulations you've had a lemon drizzle cake. I was so delighted with it too. 😂😂

[Thelnebriati]

Is there a glitch in the matrix?

[frankie001]

Once dreamt I was nanny to 2 Talking epileptic dinosaurs who kept hiding each other’s medication.

[YourVagesty]

@Frankie001, I love that

[frankie001]

@YourVagesty #bestdreamever

[pasturesgreen]

The one that sticks in my mind more than ten years later was eerily prophetic.

My parents' old friend was dying. One night, I dreamt she had made a full recovery and my parents and I were having dinner with her. When I woke up in the morning I heard she had actually died during the night.

I still think about this dream sometimes, as family friend and I weren't especially close and I never dreamt of her before and never did afterwards. I like to think wherever she is now, she's at peace.

[student26]

Pets one I get every so often and the toilets in public places. Used to have a horrible one when I was younger where people with sacks tied over their top half, arms inside, would chase me. Terrifying!
I remember one dream vaguely where I had sex with Rowan Atkinson. Wasn’t too bad from what I recall! I find the dreams where you say no to sleeping with someone because you are in a relationship infuriating! I get so cross when I wake up and it’s been a missed opportunity with a celebrity I fancy in real life haha.
Also get the dream where I win money or get lots of presents and I think, I’ll just open those later. And of course, I never do. Also dreamed once that I was giving birth and it was practically painless. I had this dream as a teenager and thinking that birth would be so easy. I found out pretty quickly with both my babies that it isn’t, haha. Dreams are so much fun, but so, so, so weird. I might start writing them down actually. That would be a good thread on MN! The daily dream thread.

[student26]

Oh, also had a scary dream that would make an amazing film idea. I’ve written down bits of it and it was actually quite clever! I do wonder if I’ve seen something like it before as it did seem well played out.

[Sunbird24]

This one... Hopefully the picture attaches!

[WinterHasCome]

I have weird dreams a lot. The neglected pets one, and toilet one are regulars. Also being naked. I'll be doing something, like just about to get out of the car to do my shopping and I'll realise I'm not wearing anything at all. I'll then have to try and shop whilst also trying to cover my modesty with my arm/hands etc. It's ridiculous.

My 4yr old also has cute/funny dreams, so I’ve started writing them down. This was her dream (verbatim) that she described last night:

I met a family of caterpillars but they were never hungry. I wanted to visit their home but I couldn’t because they didn’t have any food in case I got hungry or thirsty. Then I was stood at the side of the road and one of the caterpillars was in my way of me coming back to you guys, so I threw it over the road.
There was a man on a bench and he was laughing and the other man on the bench said “What are you laughing about” and the laughing man said “I think that behind you” - the caterpillar was doing a pirouette and a curtsy

It made me laugh anyway

[ddl1]

(1) Some years ago, I dreamt that I was in a field and two people were kicking me back and forth. I screamed 'Stop! stop! I'm not a football!' and then something happened to my voice so that I couldn't even scream. (It just about summed up my position at work at that time, being a pawn in a vicious power game between senior people.)

(2) I dreamt that I was at Marks and Spencers, and suddenly the time zone changed so that instead of being around 4 p.m. it was around 2 a.m. People were still shopping despite this! I got really worried that I had promised my very elderly mother that I would ring her that evening, and she would be waiting anxiously for me to ring and not able to sleep. And I had left my mobile phone at home by mistake! A very kind shop worker allowed me to use her mobile phone, but it was not easy to use, and although I remembered my mother's phone number correctly even in my dream, I misdialled it and got someone I knew vaguely called Anna McDougall. (I have never actually known anyone called Anna McDougall.) She was not cross at being woken at 2 a.m., but told me that I worried too much about my mother and I needed to have cognitive behaviour therapy for that. I replied that maybe I did, but it wasn't my most immediate problem! Then I woke up.

(3) A recurring one is that I am travelling somewhere and I manage both to get lost and to lose one or both of my shoes! In one dream, I was at Heathrow airport and they had a corner of a room where you had to leave your shoes in a big pile while wandering through the airport and then come back for them shortly before departure. When I was nearly due to depart, I could not remember where this pile of shoes was, and could not find it, and was sure the plane would leave without me. Then I woke up!

(4) I dreamt that Donald Trump was the devil and was trying to toss me into a volcano!

[JKSN]

@Butterer @IchWill I have the abandoned pet dream too, thankfully not with the flayed bit but I really don't like it.

My most random dream is probably one where my front teeth were falling out and regrowing every few seconds and I was catching them in a sandwich bag!

[ddl1]

'I had a long running series (episode instalments over yeaaaaaaars ) that David Cameron was my boyfriend. He used to take me to Chequers for the weekend and feed me wine and cheese, fireside. He was actually really lovely.'

That reminds me of my own David Cameron dream, which was nothing like so glamorous. In my dream, some family friends insisted that I come to their home to supervise some building work they were having done, while they were away on and off. I protested that I have NO abillities in that direction, but they insisted. Anyway, it turned out that David Cameron was the foreman of the builders, and kept doing everything wrong like breaking things in the home, and I kept getting the blame for it!

[ilovesooty]

@Laiste

I too have the neglected animal dream. It's horrid isn't it? I'm so conscientious about looking after our pets too! It can come at any moment during a normal dream. Going along fine and i suddenly think ''The Guineapigs!!!'' and i realise i havn't fed them or cleaned them out for about 3/6/12 months. And then the sick panic trying to get to them and the dread of looking and then the looking and trying to see who's still alive and the guilt ....... aaaarrrrgggghhh :(

I also have a recurring Dirty Public Loo dream. Again it will be a normal dream and then drifts into me looking for a place to wee but it's all too filthy. I have to pick my way over the dirty floor to keep my feet clean.

Also a neglected/scary/previously unknown room in the house dream. Sometimes it's a kitchen, all stainless steel and smashed windows and dripping taps into full sinks. Sometimes it's a bedroom with the last occupants old fashioned pink nylon bedding and drapes ....

i'm obviously not quite right am i ?

I have the neglected animal dream and the dirty loo dream now and again too.

[Saucy99]

I had a dream that a monk made me do a poo on his behalf.