To ask for your weirdest / most vivid dream. (Gross trigger warning for mine!!)

[IchWill]

Had a mad dream last night, got me sharing my oddest dream on Facebook tonight to friends. So I want to hear yours. Anything spooky / prophetic welcome too.

I have really detailed and bizarre dreams, my DP is often gobsmacked by the odd shit I wake up remembering.

The weirdest dream I ever had... I was working in some seedy two-bob knocking shop. Like you'd see on The Bill, or something. A self contained flat with paint peeling from the walls.

Anyway, my next client came in, and I casually said to him (without turning around) "Wash your knob in the sink, there's a love." (I remember, I got this line from a old Lily Savage stand-up quote).

In a nasal twang he replied to me, "Don't you know who I am?"

I span round to see "Boycey" from Only Fools and Horses. "MARLEEEENE!"

I made him wash his knob in the sink still.

He wanted a blow job. After he washed it I knelt down to prepare to get ready for action.

Thank FUCK that I woke up at this point. 🤢🤮😂

Yes, I know. I'm obviously very weird.

Also, every now and then, I dream that I've just murdered somebody, and now I'm on the run. That's a fun game for my brain to play. Not.

You had a soap opera dream? I sometimes have them in one night. Very occasionally over years.

Having been in a sexless marriage for13 years I quite often dream of having sex with any old random.

@YourVagesty strangers, or people you know? Are your dreams linked like a soap opera, as per above?

Actually @YourVagesty, that reminds me. I have a recurring nightmare that I did something very, very bad years ago and got away with it, but now I’ve heard of something that means it will all be uncovered. Oh, the panic!

People I know, but vaguely @IchWill. Someone from school, someone that serves me frequently in the supermarket. That sort of thing. It's always really stressful though because I realise I'll never see my family or husband again because if I contact them, the police will be able to track me down

And on a related note, I also have a series that's about being on a plane or train and not being able to get home. Fun times!

I used to have the same dream over and over again for many years a giant cabbage with arms and legs would be chasing me some nights the location would change but that damn cabbage was still chasing me.
Not had the dream for a few years now thankfully.

There are some crackers here! My dreams are weird, but never memorable. I've just got an app called Dream Moods, to record my dreams and look up meanings. I think most of the meanings are rubbish though.

@GreenGordon isn't the relief you feel when you wake up from those dreams just the best?!

Lilly, that's hilarious!

You had a soap opera dream?

Yeah, really convoluted plot too! I had no feelings towards 'Dave' in my waking moments, but once I was asleep...well. Honestly ladies!

Quite disturbing really.

Last night I dreamt i was being artificially inseminated with a long thin tube by a man whilst a couple - man and woman- watched

@YourVagesty it's bloody scary the cabbage is bigger than me with evil red eyes. I'm not going to sleep tonight in case the cabbage makes an appearance now I've spoken about him.

@Butterer I have that dream. It's usually a previous pet hamster, rat, or rabbit that I've owned as a child, or adult and I suddenly remember them and go to the cage, or hutch in a panic as it's been years and they are always alive and fine, but surrounded by a ton of shit and sawdust. I'm in bits with worry.

The dream is apparently linked to a time in life when we are neglecting ourself. It can also indicate a yearning for motherhood.

I have this dream on and off for years. This huge big white rabbit with the pink bits in the ears like a cartoon rabbit go’s around eating the souls of sheep but to do it, he needs to do the thing Hannibal does when he’s talking about the wine like, sucks the souls out of the sheep??? And the older I get the more evil the rabbit gets!! Honest to god....think I’ve lost it

I dreamt that I was looking out of my bedroom window and my nanny was sweeping the path suddenly a huge shark appeared (and there was a wave of sea water) the shark bit my nanny I couldn’t see her and was screaming and banging on the window she then suddenly appeared and was hitting the shark with her broom 🧹 it then retreated

I don’t know how the sharks body fitted into the back garden or how it got there my dream didn’t factor that part in

My dreams are mental- my DH thinks I'm seriously disturbed some mornings. Last night we were living in a Games of Thronesish past. The king was a cross between DH and Chris Pine (who I do not have a thing for at all in real life as it goes) complete with leather clothing, long hair and buff, bronzed chest. I was the 3rd wife. Wife 1 was beautiful and kind, wife 2 was a bitch but the king liked me.

At some point there was a game where someone pointed at you and if you didn't know their name you got the shit kicked out of you . I survived the game but I think my best mate (in real life) didn't. There was an old, wooden door leading to the present day world wherein 1930s coppers came in now and again to take photographs and interview people.

Bloody weird.

@Justajot
I once dreamt that I was made of brie and I was standing legs apart, arms out while someone was painting the white coating on me with a roller.

That's literally made me cry with laughter

I had a weird dream about one of DHs bosses once. Weve worked together, both me and DH and his boss. Has always been really nice to me, and I've always joked about how moisturised his hands are! So soft it's weird. also want to point out I do not fancy him at all.

I had a dream that he and I were intimate, but he just rubbed his very slippery, just moisturised body on me, slipping everywhere. Like a freshly waxed surfboard, arms straight at his sides.

I woke up and laughed about it as I was telling DH who weirdly didnt see the funny side until I was out of breath trying to surfboard on him like slippery boss man.

I had a dream that I saved a dog... but he was a tomato dog. He was real, like a dachsund, but made of tomato... all red and translucent and squashy. I knew I had to keep him a secret because the whole world would want to look at him.

I was partly responsible for a store room at work. A colleague, also responsible, kept overstocking the shelves, and it was an ongoing source of tension. Quite often, I, or others, would walk into the room and say "what fresh crap is this?". Colleague would say he'd deal with it, and so he would - before replacing it with more crap.

In my dream I walked into the room to see lots of plants growing under hydroponic lamps. "What the hell is this" I said, whereupon said colleague appeared, said he'd deal with it, and swiftly removed them with help from some others.

Back in reality, he got caught fiddling his expense claims and was made to resign.