To ask for your weirdest / most vivid dream. (Gross trigger warning for mine!!)

[IchWill]

Had a mad dream last night, got me sharing my oddest dream on Facebook tonight to friends. So I want to hear yours. Anything spooky / prophetic welcome too.

I have really detailed and bizarre dreams, my DP is often gobsmacked by the odd shit I wake up remembering.

The weirdest dream I ever had... I was working in some seedy two-bob knocking shop. Like you'd see on The Bill, or something. A self contained flat with paint peeling from the walls.

Anyway, my next client came in, and I casually said to him (without turning around) "Wash your knob in the sink, there's a love." (I remember, I got this line from a old Lily Savage stand-up quote).

In a nasal twang he replied to me, "Don't you know who I am?"

I span round to see "Boycey" from Only Fools and Horses. "MARLEEEENE!"

I made him wash his knob in the sink still.

He wanted a blow job. After he washed it I knelt down to prepare to get ready for action.

Thank FUCK that I woke up at this point. 🤢🤮😂

Yes, I know. I'm obviously very weird.

I often dream that I am back in my childhood home, it's derelict damp and dark with no electricity and freezing cold. It's night time and I go in the back way and sit in an old chair in the kitchen, but I'm too scared to go past the kitchen into the hallway or the other rooms, or upstairs even though I can hear noises upstairs. Likewise, I'm too scared to run away as it means going out into the long dark driveway. In reality, the house did get quite derelict after we first moved out when I was a teenager but it was eventually sold and refurbished, so I don't know why it's always derelict in my dream.

Another reoccurring dream is that I'm in the crowded foyer of a seaside spa theatre that looks out over a seafront. All of a sudden there is a crash and the entire front of the theatre breaks away and crashes into the sea, and as I'm running away I can feel the carpet under my feet getting looser as the stone crumbles away. Everyone is pushing and trying to get to the exit doors, but I run down a flight of stairs towards the dressing room area and into a maze of corridors backstage. I can hear water rushing in from somewhere and I push a door and end up in an underground tunnel of deserted shops that look like they haven't been touched since the 1980s but are still full of stock as if they had been abandoned suddenly. I can't go back the way I came because there is now water behind the door I came through, and I have no idea if the tunnel with the shops in is sealed. I usually run about the tunnel trying to find a way out, then end up finding a staircase which I climb and end up in the back corner of a railway station where I see someone I know (usually one of my daughters) but when I try to show them the stairs down to the shops the staircase entrance is bricked up and sealed.

I have very vivid dreams/nightmares, the usual ones like the exposed loos, cars that wont go into reverse, people getting into the house while we are all asleep etc, I also have some very daft ones - I was sitting on my sofa with the curtains open and Martin Clunes kept really annoying me by peering in the window and waggling his ears at me.

I have also spent an entire night rearranging the clothes in our local Fenwicks, I was so tired when I woke up!

I once had very rough sex with Jeremy Clarkson!

I had one where I'd made instant best friends with Jeremy Clarkson, and he invited me for a night out. I had to meet him at the studio where they filmed Top Gear, and when I got there the studio was full of penguins. Jeremy said it was because all the David Attenborough programmes were fake, and they filmed them in the studio, but it was a blasted nuisance having to work their show around all these penguins, or whatever other animal it was that week. Then he said he was about ready to go, and he just had to change ... and he took his shirt off and put on a rather fetching black lace bra. And then, unfortunately, I woke up - I would love to have known what happened next.

I dreamt I found I had a second mouth, it had been seen up but was opened and festering hole of rotten teeth and smelly gums in my cheek.

Also that I found myself dead and buried under the floorboards in my old flat

I had one were I vomited a clear plastic bag containing weird items, including half a tennis ball , a small sewing kit and a water pistol. That was rather horrible.
I also get the dirty, overlooked loo one quite a bit as well, so does my mum.
Another one involved discovering a lab with human animal hybrids and discreetly trying to rescue them.

I've had similar loo dreams to the ones upthread but I always wake up from them really needing to go so I presume the dream is my brain preventing me from wetting the bed.

I don't have many dreams featuring celebrities but when I was stressed out over my MA I dreamt that I swam across a big outdoor swimming pool at night and then when I got out Stephen Fry congratulated me and handed me my degree certificate.

Loo privacy is a reoccurring dream for me too.

A reoccurring childhood nightmare was me (a small tyre) being chased by big mean tyres until I dropped into the top of a silo filled with those small different coloured pe beanbags.

I once had fantastic sex with Keiffer Sutherland and Madonna once helped me do some clothes shopping in full pointy bra getup. I won’t give you my ‘film script’ dream in case I ever get chance to pitch it though!

I want to say I have extremely realistic dreams but they rarely feature actual places I’ve been or that they are supposed to represent, Incredible detailing inside of a shop I’ve never been in etc, but I know I’m in Whitby say as it has that ‘feel’ to it...

Does anyone else get "dream hangover" after these dreams?

Sometimes they hang over me with an oppressive and doomy feeling the next day.

I have the disgusting/public/inaccessible toilet dream too! Thought it was weird, mentioned to my sister and she has the exact same one - seems it's really common!

The room will be tiled and enormous like the changing rooms of a big school or something

Yes! Like the old-school long wooden benches, just with holes cut in the seat, and no one else seems to find it weird and you can't understand why??

The number of dream hours I've wasted simply trying to find somewhere to pee, when I could've been flying, or shagging Brad Pitt etc is a tragedy 🤦🏻‍♀️ The only other repetitive one is another cliche, with my teeth crumbling out my mouth. There's always a 'here we go again' feeling in the dream, but I'm still always surprised to wake up and find I still have my own bathroom/a full set of teeth

I always get dreams about not being able to find the car in a car park and having a panic attacks (I have agoraphobia so not hard to work out)
My aunty had one that she went to get her bikini wax done and she took her pants off and had a massive fanny!

@Miriel. When I was doing my MA, I had a dream that I gave it to Alan Alda to have a read over it, but instead he ate it.

Every couple of months I dream that I'm pregnant but time goes on and on. I have no due date and every time I try to get a scan they won't let me because its been too long so I can't be pregnant or need a scan. But I know I am!
Every time I get so anxious about the baby and so confused and angry that it isn't coming.
I have 2DC and don't want more.
I do love babies though!

I regularly dream that all my teeth fall out, it’s a common one, meant to signify a change or something.

I have the neglected animals dream too. Either old hamsters I used to own, sat in their filthy cages. Or fish tanks thick with algae.

I also have the teeth falling out dream, though not for a while now. Frighteningly realistic, though it got to the point I was telling myself it was a dream while I was in it.

Often dream of disasters. Place crashes, train derailments, fires, tsunamis.

Inappropriate sex dreams, naturally.

Got kidnapped by the Honey Monster once, too.

I also have the neglected animals one, old forgotten fish tanks left in cupboards at my parents’ house. Didn’t realise that one was common!

I also had the needing to see one, except in my dream I found a clean toilet... the sheer relief... which swiftly evaporated as I woke to find myself in sopping wet sheets 🤢😩

Wee not see 🙄

I have the weird filthy loo dream with no privacy too, it feels like a nightmare and I don't actually need the toilet either. What is that all about? I thought I was just a weirdo

The world was being invaded by aliens and the human they had employed to tell us to go along with it all and keep us calm was Noel Edmunds. Still gives me shivers now.

I had a really vivid dream of having HOT sex in a lift with Plan B (before he lost weight)
I woke up in a lather with my hair soaked in sweat!
I'm 62 fgs, and Plan B has never even crossed my mind, although I did like his stuff years ago.

@Mags5Bia That made me laugh! So brilliantly absurd. I can just imagine the consternation of your dream-self.

@Mascotte I get that feeling sometimes. The worst was when I had a really vivid dream that I had two children. We lived in the countryside and I homeschooled them, and the dream seemed to play out over several years, almost like the highlights of our lives. When I woke up it took me a moment to realise that these children do not, in fact, exist, and I felt this awful sadness because I missed them.

I get car park dreams, either can't find the car or the car park is labyrinthine and huge and I can't find my way out. Also trying to find my hotel room in a hotel where the doors are not sequentially numbered but just completely random.

Once dreamt I'd found some orphaned hedgehogs and picked them up. When I put them down my whole front was covered in ticks, I could feel them all stuck into my skin. Woke up in the morning all blistered and bruised from my hot water bottle

I always I have dreams I cut my hair off. When I look in the mirror I look awful.
When I wake I realise it’s not true and I am so relieved.