To ask for your weirdest / most vivid dream. (Gross trigger warning for mine!!)

[IchWill]

Had a mad dream last night, got me sharing my oddest dream on Facebook tonight to friends. So I want to hear yours. Anything spooky / prophetic welcome too.

I have really detailed and bizarre dreams, my DP is often gobsmacked by the odd shit I wake up remembering.

The weirdest dream I ever had... I was working in some seedy two-bob knocking shop. Like you'd see on The Bill, or something. A self contained flat with paint peeling from the walls.

Anyway, my next client came in, and I casually said to him (without turning around) "Wash your knob in the sink, there's a love." (I remember, I got this line from a old Lily Savage stand-up quote).

In a nasal twang he replied to me, "Don't you know who I am?"

I span round to see "Boycey" from Only Fools and Horses. "MARLEEEENE!"

I made him wash his knob in the sink still.

He wanted a blow job. After he washed it I knelt down to prepare to get ready for action.

Thank FUCK that I woke up at this point. 🤢🤮😂

Yes, I know. I'm obviously very weird.

I have incredibly vivid and strange dreams and sometimes it takes me a while to shake them off when I wake.

The most memorable was probably one that continued for 3 nights. As in each night it took up where it had left off. It's only ever happened to me like that once. On the first night, I was kidnapped while out walking with my family. On the second night, while this crazy woman was forcing me to march along in front of her we came across my family who were still out walking and she snatched my two younger brothers as well. On the third night, after a long an arduous hike, we finally arrived at the kidnappers hideout. Which happened to be the horse feed shed on our farm. So I just walked out and went inside to get my parents. So weird.

Brie and the fox rape have both made me do silent shaking and spluttering while trying not to awaken sleeping DH beside me.

I haven’t remembered a dream for ages. Wish I could.

The weirdest Dream I remember was that Mr Burns from the Simpsons was annoyed with me and sent me a dead cat wrapped in newspaper. It was half decomposed, matted fur, flies and maggots

Another one I remember from when I was a child, I went downstairs and saw my mum, who smiled at me but all her teeth then shattered into tiny pieces and fell out of her mouth in front of me.

One of my weirdest dreams was when Julian Clary tried to kill me. He was chasing me around my primary school with a huge butcher’s knife. I’m not sure why he wanted to kill me but I’ve never been able to watch him since!

Anyone have the 'packing on holiday ' dream when you're on holiday & it's time to go & you literally have tons of stuff to get into multiple cases & end up emptying whole drawers out....I wouldn't mind but I don't even get to enjoy the holiday. There's usually problems threatening to crash the plane too...the whole dream is so stressful.

@Thelnebriati I have the zombie apocalypse dream too! Like down to the new build housing estate. The worst was one where I somehow knew how to cure them and had to get to the scientists who were in Paris, the only vehicle I could get was a bike. And obviously I had to cycle through the channel tunnel in the dark. I was exhausted when I woke up because I’d been cycling for days in the dream.
I try not to think about it too much for fear of causing them cause they are really horrible.
I also have that thing where I can’t read in dreams and people are hanging me secret notes or there’s messages pinging into my phone.

Slippery surfboard boss is bloody brilliant. Brie woman is another level.🤣🤣🤣

I had a totally filthy dream about Vladimer Putin. I remember that he was very athletic, very toned, very flexible and exceptionally inventive. IF I could remember enough to have written a book it would have made the Karma Sutra and Marquis De Sade look like a phone book.

I woke up knackered, very confused and quite a bit annoyed as he had treated me to a lifestyle I had no idea existed and surprised that someone had that much stamina.

Recently I've been having dreams where I'm a time travelling spy preventing an assassination or major disaster. Different place / time every night. I sit in a high backed chair in a white room which has a green square in the middle of one wall. I stare at the square and then I'm 'in'. Great dreams just a weirdly repetitive concept.

@JoJothesquirrel I get that 'not being able to get home in time' or 'catching the wrong bus' is an anxiety dream, but do you think the zombie dreams are? I have them regularly, they're extremely life like and vivid, and I can remember most of the details.

@Thelnebriati I wish I knew what caused them. I hate horror films and books so I don’t know how I know so much about zombies anyway (mine aren’t the falling to bits type, they are clever, sneaky and hunt in packs). I feel a lot of pressure in the dream to save the world, maybe it’s cause I feel under pressure in real life and it’s against the odds? But that’s a little obvious for dreams if your teeth falling out means stress.
I’m delighted someone else has the zombie dream though, maybe there’s a support group?

I once had very rough sex with Jeremy Clarkson! 😂😂😂 I actually woke up and said what the hell was THAT all about!

Also have recurring dreams about tornadoes. Apparently it means that I live with someone prone to angry outbursts. DH is not violent but he's a moody bastard sometimes 🙄 Could be my 5 year old?! 😂

I had a terrible one last night. There was a whole family of baby rabbits in my shed that I'd left to die. I knew they were there but I didn't feed them and they were all dead when I went to see.

It doesn't bear any resemblance to anything I've actually experienced in my real life, but I'm so glad I woke up and it hadn't happened.

I once had one where I was a man - some sort of medieval soldier who was going to be executed for betraying someone. My attitude to it was basically 'this sucks, but yeah, what I did was dishonourable, so it isn't unexpected.' I remember the fear, and the feeling of the axe cutting into my neck, and being surprised that I hadn't instantly died and the executioner had to try again with another chop.

I hadn't been watching or reading anything that could have put this kind of scene into my mind. It was extremely odd.

I've got 2. Quick before i forget them again!

1. Donald Trump ejaculated on my shoes while i sat on a wooden chair in front of him. There were other little details about what he said (i had a thread about it on MN the next day i was so traumatised).

2. Settle in - this is odd - I dreamed of a snowy landscape. Viewed from right up in the air. Beautiful, silent and pristine. No houses, just flying to the edge of a huge cedar forest and then out to an open area of flat snow field. In the middle of this open area of flat snow was a black object. Slowly descending now i could see it was a german shepard dog, panting and digging in the snow. I come down level with the dog and then i sink down through the snow to what he's digging down to.

It's a melted out round chamber in the snow. With a tiny river of melt water running through the bottom of it. Lying to one side of the water and curled up is a tiny, wizened naked old man thing. Looks asleep, but isn't ...

That's it! This was years ago and I have never forgotten it. It was so clear. WTF did it mean??

Not mine, but DSis dreamt she was chewing on a sweet for ages. Woke up to find her DH's foam earplug in her mouth 🙈

@Butterer I have that dream! Forgotten hutches containing childhood rabbits and/or guinea pigs that have been forgotten about for years.

I've managed to talk myself round in my sleep/a half awake state from some of them because I've never had hutch pigs, they've always been indoors. But yeah, exactly the same, piles of shit, no food, empty water bottles

I too have the neglected animal dream. It's horrid isn't it? I'm so conscientious about looking after our pets too! It can come at any moment during a normal dream. Going along fine and i suddenly think ''The Guineapigs!!!'' and i realise i havn't fed them or cleaned them out for about 3/6/12 months. And then the sick panic trying to get to them and the dread of looking and then the looking and trying to see who's still alive and the guilt ....... aaaarrrrgggghhh :(

I also have a recurring Dirty Public Loo dream. Again it will be a normal dream and then drifts into me looking for a place to wee but it's all too filthy. I have to pick my way over the dirty floor to keep my feet clean.

Also a neglected/scary/previously unknown room in the house dream. Sometimes it's a kitchen, all stainless steel and smashed windows and dripping taps into full sinks. Sometimes it's a bedroom with the last occupants old fashioned pink nylon bedding and drapes ....

i'm obviously not quite right am i ?

I had a BEAUTIFUL dream recently where I shagged Brad Pitt. Beautiful it was. Nothing weird from me but my friend sent me a message immediately after she woke up to say she'd dreamt that she'd lost my horse, and found her in the tiny cobbled village where she grew up, galloping up and down the cobbles and she'd ripped her entire tail off at the base and was busy eating everybody's hanging baskets.... Go figure!

What an interesting thread! Glad to know I'm not the only one with a slightly twisted subconscious.....

As a younger teenager I had a very vivid dream that I was going down a helter skelter backwards and having sex with - of all people - John Inman....... that was pretty disturbing - stopped watching Are You Being Served after that (This was early 80s).

While I was married (unhappily) to my now Ex DH I had two extremely vivid dreams on a similar theme - in one my Ex was shot dead, and in the other he was hit by a car and killed. They were extremely realistic and I had clear images of being at the hospital, talking to the police, dealing with his family and also the funerals..... in both instances when I woke up and found him safe as houses beside me I was really shocked because the dreams were soooo real.... and I was also weirdly guilty too.

After we split up I had a couple of odd dreams about him too.... in one, my new DP and I were going to a house party but couldn't find a door to the house - when we did get in, my new DP vanished for a while and when I tracked him down he was giving my ex a Christmas present and we had a huge row about it......

In the other, I was with my Ex in my Nana's old flat where we hadn't lived for 20 years..... the sitting room was just the same with sort of green and gold textured bamboo patterned wallpaper and all her things but there was no window, and my ex had no mouth and was just kind of making weird mewling noises...... there was a bit about my dear departed Nana too and I was crossing the road to the flat with a man who was apparently her fiance.... (who had never existed in real life)..... no idea what was going on there but I had this nagging feeling it was some sort of message..... still confused to this day!

I recently dreamt I confronted some women for throwing litter in the street, and when they responded in a bitchy manner I cut their heads off with a lightsaber. Totally proportionate... right?

At least 3 nights a week for about the last 15 years I've had a similar dream to a couple of other posters. I'm always completely desperate to use the loo, but each one I come across is absolutely filthy dirty (shit smeared on the seat, used sanitary towels stuck to the side, floor covered in piss), often extremely dangerous to access (think hanging over the edge of a very high cliff or with snarling beasts guarding it for example) and they're always in public view (either with missing cubicle doors or they're just a toilet in a large room/space where there are lots of other people).

It's not because I actually need the loo, so I'd be grateful for a definitive answer to what it really means if anyone knows please? I've obviously looked it up, but there seem to be lots of conflicting opinions and none which seem to fit me.

@BetsyBigNose - ... and they're always in public view (either with missing cubicle doors or they're just a toilet in a large room/space where there are lots of other people).

Oh god yes! I'd forgotten this bit. In mine it starts off with the privacy problem. The room will be tiled and enormous like the changing rooms of a big school or something and the cubicles are in the middle and only have walls which come up to your waist but the loo seats themselves are sort of up high on a pedestal so you'd be fully on display. And sort of teetering about on this sort of high mushroom of a loo! As i look for one a bit more private it all gradually turns into the filthy loo dream. What IS this about? Why are so many of us having this one?