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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to think this may have ruined a friendship?

399 replies

Barobee · 20/06/2020 17:00

TL;DR friend’s boyfriend won’t get his car out of my garage and it’s pissing me off.

Longer version: two years ago a good friend asked if her boyfriend could store his car in my garage. It was supposed to be for three months max as he had just exchanged on a house so would be able to store it in his new house’s garage once it had completed.

I said yes as she’s a good friend and I don’t mind being helpful.

Two years on and the fucking car’s still there. I texted at the beginning of June to ask if it could be moved by mid June because I wanted to paint the garage and turn it into a room where DC could hang out a bit. Friend said she would tell him he needed to move his car. Two weeks later, at friend’s suggestion as he had shown no interest in collecting the car, I texted again to ask when he was coming. No joy.

I’ve just texted again today and said if it’s easier can she just give me his number so I can deal with him directly. Now the reply is that she’ll give me his number later because she’s got another child visiting.

At first I was annoyed at him, partly because I sometimes think he treats friend quite badly, but now I’m beginning to think that they are both taking the piss (him more than her) and this is going to impact badly on our friendship. AIBU and what can I do?

OP posts:
cameocat · 24/06/2020 15:57

Sorry if that sounded harsh, not you that is ridiculous, the situation they have put you in.

Blahblahblah12345 · 25/06/2020 08:40

Have they not got the car yet? That is ridiculous.

forrestgreen · 25/06/2020 09:44

You're doing your best to keep the relationship. They're doing their best to take advantage of you.

Barobee · 25/06/2020 12:29

I’m not too sure where people got the impression that I haven’t spoken to my friend (or her partner) for the last two years. We normally meet up regularly, though of course we have moved to text/phone since Covid.

I’m also not sure why anyone would think I haven’t taken any of the advice I asked for. I’ve read everyone’s advice and I’ve taken some of it. Thank you to everyone who offered it, I do appreciate you taking the time. I freely admit that dealing with situations like this doesn’t come naturally or easily to me, but I’ve tried to approach it without putting myself vastly outside my comfort zone. Small steps, etc. I’m sure some of you may think I’m still in desperate need of a spine, but I do think I’ve gained a couple extra vertebrae from this experience.

The result is that the car has gone. He turned up early this morning and it was gone within the hour. I didn’t threaten anything in the end, as I wasn’t sure how I could follow up legally or without spending money, and it turns out that threats weren’t necessary anyway.

In addition, I’ve now got a much better understanding of the situation my friend is in, which I wouldn’t have had if I’d gone in all guns blazing. So I’m going to continue being there for her, much as she has been there for me at times.

Thanks to all of you again for giving advice and sharing knowledge.

OP posts:
SnickettyLemon · 25/06/2020 13:09

Thanks for update OP. You achieved the outcome you wanted, and have remained friends. Good result.

Eddielzzard · 25/06/2020 13:33

Well done. You've done him a great kindness and you've resolved it without ruining the friendship.

cstaff · 25/06/2020 13:33

Ah well done OP. You couldn't have asked for a better outcome i.e. still friends and you have your garage back.

Zhampagne · 25/06/2020 13:42

Well done, OP. I'm so glad that the matter is resolved.

I'm afraid that a lot of MNers are in it for the drama and want fast-moving threads with lots of action. That's why trolls do so well here, because real life is a bit less pacy. The car is gone and your friendship is intact, which is the best possible outcome.

forrestgreen · 25/06/2020 14:28

Well done

Rubyroost · 25/06/2020 15:21

Good news that you got it sorted. Glad you've almost grown a spine.

Speakingofdinosaurs · 25/06/2020 16:05

Well done OP, not just for taking the advice you have been given but in doing it your own way, adapting it to suit your own personality, values and circumstances.
It takes more strength of character to filter through all the proffered advice and decide apply it your own way.
You have definitely grown from this.
Take care.

ComeBy · 25/06/2020 16:14

@Barobee WELL DONE!

Top work - and good for you for being honest and open about how hard you find these things, and being open to learning from a thread that has been quite brutal at times.

Good luck in transforming your garage space.

FloridaEquilla · 25/06/2020 16:40

I'm afraid that a lot of MNers are in it for the drama and want fast-moving threads with lots of action. That's why trolls do so well here, because real life is a bit less pacy. The car is gone and your friendship is intact, which is the best possible outcome.

Exactly this – many dispensing ‘nuclear option’ advice are just here for the entertainment and many of them, frankly, are bullies.

Well done OP!

WitchDancer · 25/06/2020 18:35

Brilliant result, thank you for updating us

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/06/2020 18:57

That's good news Barobee. I hope your plans for the garage work out well.

Beautiful3 · 26/06/2020 12:42

Yay well done op. Glad he moved his car.

zigzagbetty · 27/06/2020 07:20

Great news! Can crack on with your new room now Smile

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/06/2020 09:13

Wow! You’ve done so well. I hope DC’s enjoy their new play room. Smile

TheMaddHugger · 27/06/2020 09:47

Good Update. Ta

Aibu to think this may have ruined a friendship?
timeisnotaline · 27/06/2020 09:56

I’m glad it’s gone. I’m totally confused about this though- In addition, I’ve now got a much better understanding of the situation my friend is in. What do you mean? You’ve realised your friend is in a relationship with an entitled twat?

SpiderStan · 27/06/2020 11:36

Don't forget, the friend is playing awkward piggy in the middle here and wont want to upset anyone. I completely understand your point. And I agree, get hold of his number and deal with him directly so you friend doesn't have to be in the middle of it. 2 years is completely unreasonable when he said a maximum of 3 months!

KentuckyBlueberry · 27/06/2020 11:50

@SpiderStan

Cancel the cheque!

Ristar · 27/06/2020 11:55

Sounds like a good result. Nice to hear it's all sorted!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 27/06/2020 15:30

Are you saying you think DF's BF is an arsehole OP?

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