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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this may have ruined a friendship?

399 replies

Barobee · 20/06/2020 17:00

TL;DR friend’s boyfriend won’t get his car out of my garage and it’s pissing me off.

Longer version: two years ago a good friend asked if her boyfriend could store his car in my garage. It was supposed to be for three months max as he had just exchanged on a house so would be able to store it in his new house’s garage once it had completed.

I said yes as she’s a good friend and I don’t mind being helpful.

Two years on and the fucking car’s still there. I texted at the beginning of June to ask if it could be moved by mid June because I wanted to paint the garage and turn it into a room where DC could hang out a bit. Friend said she would tell him he needed to move his car. Two weeks later, at friend’s suggestion as he had shown no interest in collecting the car, I texted again to ask when he was coming. No joy.

I’ve just texted again today and said if it’s easier can she just give me his number so I can deal with him directly. Now the reply is that she’ll give me his number later because she’s got another child visiting.

At first I was annoyed at him, partly because I sometimes think he treats friend quite badly, but now I’m beginning to think that they are both taking the piss (him more than her) and this is going to impact badly on our friendship. AIBU and what can I do?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 22/06/2020 08:45

As message is from friend, phone her and give her ultimatum of date then tell her it will be towed otherwise with an invoice to her.

Nanny0gg · 22/06/2020 09:00

Followed by Small Claims Court if they don't pay up

DancingInTheGarden · 22/06/2020 10:01

As he has paid no rent for the last two years he can afford a new pane of glass for the driver's window.
Break the glass, reach in and take the handbrake off, tow it.
Text him where it is towed to.

End of your problem.

Jeremyironsnothing · 22/06/2020 10:11

If it does indeed affect the friendship, it's not your doing.

Be firm. Tell her that if it's not moved the by the time the handy man arrives you'll remove it yourself one way or another, and they'll have to bear the cost.

SallyB392 · 22/06/2020 11:01

Just a word of caution here if you (the OP), tow a vehicle without a valid MOT, tax and insurance you will be committing an offence under the road traffic laws.

If you cause the vehicle to be removed in this way from your property, you could be considered to be aiding and abetting the offender.

If you remove the vehicle from your garage and place it on a public road you will be acting unlawfully. So, ignore the vast majority of these responses and seek legal advice

TheTrollFairy · 22/06/2020 11:09

People like your friend and her boyfriend are annoying. I guess the initial agreement for the car to be there was made between you and friend so you are not being unreasonable to expect her to sort out the removal of the car. I would simply say that the car being in the garage is preventing you from using your property and that it’s not unreasonable to expect some communication from her as to when the car will be picked up. How does she expect you to magically know when it’ll be picked up if you are given no notice of it! I can guarantee they are avoiding telling you so they can claim that they tried to get the car but you were out at the time

ProfessorSlocombe · 22/06/2020 11:17

If you remove the vehicle from your garage and place it on a public road you will be acting unlawfully. So, ignore the vast majority of these responses and seek legal advice

Quite aside from it having to get to court, this is a situation where things need to happen in the dead of night with nobody around, and the capacity to maintain a "How odd" face should any questions be asked.

I posted the best legal advice years ago. The OP has become an involuntary bailee. Which sounds like it should come with a medal on a ribbon, but really means they have an enforceable duty of care. However that can be offset against the cost of storing the goods.

notthemum · 22/06/2020 11:21

For goodness sake, send me their numbers and I will phone them for you.
Failing that phone and say workmen need to get into garage now. Car needs moving now. You have the number of tow truck company it can be delivered to his OR hers and they will have to pay for it.

Cordial11 · 22/06/2020 11:23

Has he replied??? Shock CF!

Ferret27 · 22/06/2020 11:28

These threads are always weird .... why are you texting!
Just phone on a Monday night ....he will be home ( as is just about everyone during covid)you can speak to him yourself get his number and pin him down.... if she’s a good friend PHONE....

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 22/06/2020 11:37

What kind of car is it? Is it a heap of crap, or an old classic? I'm intrigued as to why someone would keep a car for two years but never even get in it...

BurtsBeesKnees · 22/06/2020 12:11

I'd message him once you've got an idea from your hangars in being able to move it or not. If they can move it simply text him saying if he doesn't collect by x date you'll be having the vehicle removed and charge him for the pleasure e

DameFanny · 22/06/2020 12:34

"Just a word of caution here if you (the OP), tow a vehicle without a valid MOT, tax and insurance you will be committing an offence under the road traffic laws.
" How would that work @SallyB392? I could legally tow a completely unregistered trailer, what's the difference between that and an outdated car?

GlitterNails · 22/06/2020 12:41

Ferret27 - she tried to phone him and he didn’t answer, so she didn’t have a choice. Plus at this point I think it’s sensible to put everything in writing just in case it gets to her having to remove it.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 22/06/2020 12:43

Two years is massive CF territory!! Has he paid you rent??
I would text your friend everyday until he moves it - if it goes on longer than a week she obviously doesn’t value your friendship at all so I would say as other posters have put you’ll be calling the local scrap merchant to come get it!! Don’t be a doormat

SallyB392 · 22/06/2020 13:21

DameFanny, I haven't got the foggiest, but the OP has confirmed that the car is SORN, so not taxed. I just posed the question to the AA, and then DVLA. Both said that she can't tow a vehicle that is not road worthy.

The OP has given tacit agreement for the car to be garage on her property, so, the owner has actually done nothing wrong. As far as I'm aware he has not actually refused to remove the car!
To be honest I'm at a loss to understand why this needs to become a confrontation. The OP just needs to contact by phone, the owner of the vehicle, and request that he move the car by a certain date, bearing in mind he will need to make arrangements for collection and delivery. She should follow the verbal request with a written confirmation of the conversation, and either email or post this. If possible, she could enclose details of companies who could collect the car.

mussymummy · 22/06/2020 13:59

OP can I ask a question re this so called friend of yours. How many times have you met up with this friend over the past 2 years whilst you have been storing the car? Does this friend initiate chat with you or are you the one leading the friendship?

DameFanny · 22/06/2020 14:35

How weird Sally

Circe32 · 22/06/2020 15:10

You can tow a car which is on a SORN. If you use an 'A-bar' the car behind becomes a trailer and doesn't need tax, MOT or insurance. The towing vehicle must be insured (including for towing) and you must have sufficient rights on your licence to tow a vehicle. If the car is towed by rope, then all the usual rules of the road apply - the towed vehicle must be taxed, MOT'd and insured, unless it is being towed to a pre-booked MOT test or to a garage to have the work necessary to pass the MOT.
Just in case there's some confusion, a SORNed vehicle can be perfectly roadworthy.

forrestgreen · 22/06/2020 16:59

Text and ask for the tow truck company so you can organise having access

nowayhose · 22/06/2020 17:21

@ Barobee

Don't bother ASKING him when he's having someone remove it, send another text TELLING him when it will be towed out of your garage (Tuesday) and left on the street, for which HE will be given the bill. (and you've GOT to be willing to follow that through with the small claims court !!!! It's cheap and easy !)THEN tell him that if HIS car is not moved from the street by Tuesday evening, you WILL be reporting it as abandoned to both the police and to DVLA (who will then chase HIM for road tax and a valid MOT unless he moves it off road immediately !)

He hasn't bothered to tell you when because he's not arranged anything, he's simply stringing you along with mollifying words, but no time/ date etc that he needs to stick to, so I'm afraid YOU'RE going to have to be the one who stipulates WHEN and HOW things will be done, UNLESS he gets them done first................

ComeBy · 22/06/2020 17:27

Just in case there's some confusion, a SORNed vehicle can be perfectly roadworthy

Yes.
But this one has no MOT.

FelicisNox · 22/06/2020 18:41

You're asking for ideas and you've been given all the reasonable ones so take your pick.

You may well have been through a lot together but right now she is not being a good friend to you and her life drama is leaching into your life: I gave up such "friendships" a long time ago because they're too draining for little positivity.

If you're that good a friend you should be able to call her up tomorrow if there's no resolution and just tell her: Look, I've had it in my garage for the last 2 years and right now I'm questioning if it is there legally, it's either gone in the next 48hrs or I'm putting the window in, taking the hand break off and pushing it into the street. It's nothing personal against you but your BF is taking the piss and I need my garage back ASAP.
Sorry.x

amispeakingenglish · 22/06/2020 18:45

Make sure you have documented proof of your request and a deadline. Take photos of the car from every angle, before you move it if you can and then after clearly showing the location and make sure pics time/dated. Then just leave it in the road. Send a pic to him/her to say had to move as you had deadline and had asked but no response, Very sorry blah blah.........

mydaddy · 22/06/2020 18:58

Unfortunately I suspect the owner has no more interest in the car and would be quite happy for you to assume the responsibility of towing and scrapping it. If you do this then you might well have another battle in a small claims court to recover the costs.

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