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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this may have ruined a friendship?

399 replies

Barobee · 20/06/2020 17:00

TL;DR friend’s boyfriend won’t get his car out of my garage and it’s pissing me off.

Longer version: two years ago a good friend asked if her boyfriend could store his car in my garage. It was supposed to be for three months max as he had just exchanged on a house so would be able to store it in his new house’s garage once it had completed.

I said yes as she’s a good friend and I don’t mind being helpful.

Two years on and the fucking car’s still there. I texted at the beginning of June to ask if it could be moved by mid June because I wanted to paint the garage and turn it into a room where DC could hang out a bit. Friend said she would tell him he needed to move his car. Two weeks later, at friend’s suggestion as he had shown no interest in collecting the car, I texted again to ask when he was coming. No joy.

I’ve just texted again today and said if it’s easier can she just give me his number so I can deal with him directly. Now the reply is that she’ll give me his number later because she’s got another child visiting.

At first I was annoyed at him, partly because I sometimes think he treats friend quite badly, but now I’m beginning to think that they are both taking the piss (him more than her) and this is going to impact badly on our friendship. AIBU and what can I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Barobee · 21/06/2020 21:24

Should have said that text is from friend, not her partner. Angry

OP posts:
sonjadog · 21/06/2020 21:30

I would message her now and tell her you are going to contact someone about having it towed as you need it gone in the next two days and she hasn't told you a date for removal. That might focus her mind on answering your question...

Honeyroar · 21/06/2020 21:33

Message her and tell her she either has the manners to respond to your question or you’ll have it dragged onto the road tomorrow (tell her you’ve found a garage that will).

Saturdaysnotforexercise · 21/06/2020 21:53

I don’t know about you, but her failure to respond properly would have obliterated The friendship, even without the 2 years taking the Mickey

TimeWastingButFun · 21/06/2020 21:59

Well you've asked and been nice about it. I would give another warning about needing it gone and say that if it wasn't out within a week then you would have to park it on the road outside - any fines would go to them as the owners.

ComeBy · 21/06/2020 21:59

“thanks Friend, that’s good news as long as it is before xx. Let me know when they’re coming so that I can be sure to be in to unlock the garage. It really does need to be in time for my workman, otherwise....it’s out on the road! See you, x’

Twinkled · 21/06/2020 22:25

You are short changing yourself with this friend. Please don't place so much value on her friendship. As you say you have gone through a lot but that does not mean she is a great friend ; her actions say otherwise. Take care of you .

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 21/06/2020 22:28

Just book to have it removed now. They have no intention

TorkTorkBam · 21/06/2020 22:40

Message back a very simple message.

I have booked a tow of the car out onto the street for tomorrow afternoon. He can then pick it up whenever suits him. He is still welcome to collect tomorrow morning if he wants

Do not worry about lying about your tow tonight. Do book one in the morning though. It's your only chance of getting the car out before Tuesday either by him or the tow company.

Dadof2girls · 21/06/2020 22:47

Buy 4 of these shovels. Slip them under the tyres with the handles pointing out of the garage. Push the car out of the garage onto your drive. The car is untaxed and does not have an MOT so don't put it on the road, unless you get really fed up. Show this to your builder. He will probably love to learn this trick. www.screwfix.com/p/neverbend-square-head-square-shovel/79599

momtoboys · 21/06/2020 22:50

Following!

therealkittyfane · 21/06/2020 23:02

Message her and ask what time/day he has booked tow truck for.
If she doesn’t reply it’s because there is no tow truck. If that happens to be the case, you need to ask a local garage to drag it out of your garage for you and dump it on the road. He’ll soon get notification to shift it then.

Doodar · 21/06/2020 23:07

F

TriciaH · 21/06/2020 23:13

Tell him you did him a favour and now you need it gone. I would hint that if he doesn't pick it up you will have it towed away.

Abs2010 · 21/06/2020 23:20

F

Glittercandle · 21/06/2020 23:23

I would call a tow truck company and get a quote for pulling it out into the road. Text friend and her boyfriend and tell them how much it will cost and when you are getting it done as you know they won’t want the car to stay on the road without tax/insurance.

Euclid · 22/06/2020 03:23

Just get your workmen to push it on to the road. Why should you pay for having it towed anywhere? As your "friend's" boyfriend has not taxed or insured it when he took advantage of your generosity, he will have major fines when it is on the public road. Tell your "friend" that it will be on the road on Monday.
OP you have done nothing wrong. Just have it pushed out on the road. Be assertive.

Loreleigh · 22/06/2020 04:23

I'd text back - "the 3-month stay was meant to be as a favour. 2 years is taking the piss and 21 months rent =? ££££? If you don't contact me by the end of the week I shall assume you have abandoned the car and see whether it has any scrap value..." (If they have the cheek to point out you need the log book to sell or scrap a vehicle tell them it is considered a fly tip as they do not have the owner's permission for it to be there. Point out that's 2 years, including lockdown, that your kids have been deprived of the hang-out space they were looking forward to.

Or, just dump the damn thing on a double yellow line and let the CF's accumulate a stack of parking fines! Or leave it outside a police station or supermarket car park etc, somewhere that has a policy of towing cars that have been there more than a few hours. I believe towing and subsequent 'storage' fees can be pretty hefty - serve them right. Doesn't sound like they plan on doing anything about the car and are relying on your good nature to continue taking the P. Your 'friend' is proving what a rotten friend looks like - doesn't care about treating you and your family badly. One way or another you do need to resolve this and get your space back - good luck

hepburnmed · 22/06/2020 07:23

Just keep thinking of your kids’ faces when they see their new playroom! That should spur you on. Insist it’s moved by the day you want it you’ll have to break the window and leave it on the road... they aren’t leaving you with much choice!

pictish · 22/06/2020 07:33

Kentuckyblueberry that’s hilarious and such a good representation of mumsnet, as people get more invested and lost in their little fantasy surrounding the dilemma. DESTROY THE CAR! Grin

“OP you have no self-respect and this situation is a metaphor for your whole life. Have you done it yet? When are you going to do it? I’m refreshing the thread and getting nothing. Why aren’t you answering our questions, don’t you think that’s a bit odd?”

What I think is more odd is the intensity of this poster’s involvement and her sense of entitlement to be obeyed and kept up to date. Look at this over invested, bossy person, demanding answers like she’s owed them.
“I’m refreshing the thread and getting nothing.”
She’s just told the OP that she has no self respect, that the car is, apparently, a metaphor for her WHOLE LIFE (gosh) and then has the audacity to be put out that the OP hasn’t kept her entertained enough.
Not a clue.

OP I hope you’re sensible enough to ignore these overwrought posts.
Keep pushing for a date. X

CowsGoBaaaaa · 22/06/2020 07:36

She’s not your friend OP.

SallyB392 · 22/06/2020 08:24

I have a feeling that the OP would be acting illegally if she removed or damaged the vehicle. I'm not a lawyer but Im guessing that under the law the vehicles' owner would by now, have acquired legal rights.

If a person is evicted from a property, or leaves of their own free will, their chattel s must be stored safely for a specified period, the property owner is required to ensure their safety. Effectively this is much the same situation; the car was parked legally in the garage. The car owner was not required to pay rent, so they have not actually breached a tenancy term. The term of the 'tenancy' was implied not determined by a contract, and the OP has not actually spoken to the cars owner as of yet.

It would probably be wise at this stage for the OP to seek legal advice from someone like the CAB.

JollyHolly30 · 22/06/2020 08:25

Really hope you get a satisfactory conclusion to this saga of generosity and advantage taking!

EssexBint · 22/06/2020 08:29

I don't even know why you're making excuses to try and get the car taken away. Just say you want it removed now. And keep hounding them until it's removed. As for keeping the 'friendship' - there is no friendship. You are their tame doormat. I had a similar issue with a 'friend' who asked if they could leave their bike in my house for a couple of days. Two weeks later, after us squeezing past it in the hallway (we did not exactly live in a mansion!) and with no responses to my calls, I texted her to say it was outside the property ready for her to collect. She was there within 30 minutes. And no we're not 'friends' any more so she has had to find a new doormat and I am much happier.

imsooverthisdrama · 22/06/2020 08:39

Sorry but you left it for 2 years , it's not as if you have been asking him every day for 2 years to move it so some of the comments on here are ridiculous.
Saying that he should move it as he has took the piss but you are a little responsible for allowing it .
I'm glad you've told him to get it moved now and hopefully it will be moved ASAP .
Do not get it towed as you agreed to let him store it just threaten with the towing .
I personally wouldn't incur any costs just tell him to get it moved . The getting it towed should be worst case scenario.