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Husband and his hobby
62

Happymummy8888 · 20/06/2020 12:49

This is a quick yes or no

I have 6 month old twins and a 7 dd. Husband started new shift pattern of 4 12 hour days. I’m wfh due to Covid.

One twin is sick it’s viral but not sleeping and very clingy. H worked night shift last night came home this morning to get ready to go to his hobby I asked if he would stay home to help with kids as I was exhausted he said no and off he went.

Had a few texts back and forth and he said there’s no point me being annoyed as if he didn’t go to his hobby he would have went to bed as he was working all night. His hobby is a sport!! Who is being unreasonable here

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Givingup123456 · 20/06/2020 12:50

Yanbu. At all

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Octopuscrazy · 20/06/2020 12:50

He is being unreasonable. If he can play sport he can help with his child.

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TwilightPeace · 20/06/2020 12:51

Is it cycling per chance?

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Happymummy8888 · 20/06/2020 12:51

Also to ad when he does night shift he gets to sleep and watch tv

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AriettyHomily · 20/06/2020 12:53

The Mumsnet hobby. Can't you just say what it is?

Regardless he should have stayed to help.

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LittleBearPad · 20/06/2020 12:54

He’s cycling isn’t he. Heaven forbid anything get between a Mamil and his bike. He’s definitely BU

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Happymummy8888 · 20/06/2020 12:54

Yes bloody cycling!! I hate it

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sitckmansladylove · 20/06/2020 12:54

No this is awful. Does he help at other times ?

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Elieza · 20/06/2020 12:56

Nice that his hobby of cycling or hitting balls with a stick or whatever it is is more important than caring for his child.

On return make sure he does his bit and any pish about it such as “I can’t look after dc as I’m tired because of night shift’ should be met with a “well you should have thought of that before you prioritised you’re hobby over you sick child, I’m not his only parent and I’m not doing all the childcare”.

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LittleBearPad · 20/06/2020 12:56

Once he’s back you go out. He’s got enough energy to jump on a bike he can look after his kids.

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sitckmansladylove · 20/06/2020 12:56

Is there anyway you could go away tomorrow to get a break for yourself I know it's hard to leave young children and during covid it's not ideal?

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Elieza · 20/06/2020 12:56

Your hobby.
Stupid autocorrect.

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MiddlesexGirl · 20/06/2020 12:56

Need more detail. Your work hours. How much he usually does round the house. Whether the hobby is a regular thing. How much opportunity you both get to do your own thing etc.

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Pussycatinboots · 20/06/2020 12:58

He is BU.
At least he's volunteered to take all the kids when he gets back. Wink
Who needs sleep? - you're not getting much with a sick child!
His turn.

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TooMuchCoffeee · 20/06/2020 13:01

He's admitted he's avoiding parenting. Does he realise he has no argument left?

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BlueRaincoat1 · 20/06/2020 13:03

You are working from home with 6 monthold twins and a 7 year old? God, well done. That must be very tough. You're husband is being deeply unreasonable. Any 6 month old can be hard work after a bad night. 2 of them, one of who is unwell, when you have had very little sleep must be so tough. Your night shift sounds tougher than his!

You are meant to be a team. Those early years are so much less tolerable without a supportive partner who shares the load. He shouldn't have gone out. I don't think you should have even had to ask.

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SteelyPanther · 20/06/2020 13:09

He’s a tw*t.

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Euclid · 20/06/2020 13:12

He must be pretty dangerous on a bicycle when his alternative was sleeping.

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user159 · 20/06/2020 13:14

Yep, I'd be really annoyed. I have a husband with a hobby (not cycling) my advice, find a hobby outside the home, or take a book to the park etc and don't feel bad. I did this to my DH and suddenly we have much better communication around the subject!

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comingintomyown · 20/06/2020 13:17

Yes if he hadn’t gone cycling he would have gone to bed and then been refreshed and able to do his share. To be honest anyone who is prepared to behave like that is well past the point of being reasonable , what’s he usually like in terms of pulling his weight ?

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GinDrinker00 · 20/06/2020 13:17

When he gets back from his hobby, hand him the kids and go have a nap. I’d be annoyed too.

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tiredanddangerous · 20/06/2020 13:17

Is he working again tonight? If not hand the kids over when he gets back and go out for a few hours.

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OnTheRollercoasterCalledLife · 20/06/2020 13:18

**Need more detail. Your work hours. How much he usually does round the house. Whether the hobby is a regular thing. How much opportunity you both get to do your own thing etc.

No we don't need more detail. She's working from home with three children. 2 are 6 months old. One of the children is sick. She's asked for some help but her DH has decided to do his hobby instead of helping. So with all the information provided she is not being unreasonable and her husband is being an arse. I don't think we need to evaluate the whole relationship Hmm

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NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 20/06/2020 13:27

How long is he out on his bike and how often does he go cycling? Has he just finished his 4 shifts for the week now?

Also, are you trying to wfh full time and look after the DC or is your work part time with rest of time looking after DC?

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DwayneBenzie · 20/06/2020 13:30

Time to implement an equal leisure time policy, OP.

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