If you have a 13 year old who's out a lot, what time do they have to be home by?

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

I'm being nagged and need some perspective.

I wondered what time other people's 13 year olds need to be home by?

My sons friends seem to be out until last 8pm, and is incredulous that I ask him to be home by 6.30pm.

@Sostenueto oh how naive you were.
You didn't always know where your granddaughter was. You always knew where she said she was.

And I've already said my son isn't roaming the streets.

Mine is older now but pre-pandemic it was 8pm school nights 9pm weekends. However we used to live further away from his school so the times were more due to the fact they were the latest times I was prepared to go pick him up.

It wasn't roaming the streets though They were usually at someone's house or doing some kind of activity.

His grandparents live near his school and often they used to go there (my dad has a games room with a pool table). At weekends his friends were mostly there until 9.30-10pm

I know sostenuto's grand-daughter. Believe me, she'd have been where she said she was.

Some don;t really have any choice though. Unless they are happy to have no social time with friends many at ds's school have no-where to go. They can't afford cinema etc (and the nearest one is 45 min bus ride away). Their parent's won't allow them to have friends round and there is nothing else but to sit in the park and chat.

It's why my dad was always happy to have ds's friend's round. He was able to provide a safe space for them to chat,play pool, listen to music and drink J20's.

I don't know any 13 year olds who are just 'out'. Going to a specific house or something for a bit? Maybe. But 9 is late to me. And being out is normally an irregular occurrence, kids that age are normally at home in my experience.

9 pm for my daughter
But she never gos out anyway

@Comefromaway I agree. Some kids literally have nothing to do. But I don't see the issue with just hanging out and chatting at the park. It's a free and accessible to most kids.

I had plenty to do as a kid (mountain bike trails, swimming, skatepark, game consoles, PC, books, could invite friends over and vice versa) and I still occasionally 'roamed' aka took a long walk (because there is literally no difference.) Not every second spent outside needs to be jam packed with activities 🤷🏾‍♀️

I had to be home before dark until I moved out (age 18). So in the winter that meant being home by around 4pm.

I didn't know anyone else my age who had such an early curfew. I think at 13 most of my friends were allowed out until about 9 or 10

It depends what, where, who etc.
Nine of mine were ever allowed to roam wherever at that age.
Of a night they would be dropped off at an activity with adult oversight and picked up, ending 10pm at latest.
Of a day they could meet friends for a movie etc but most would be dropped off by a parent 30mins or so beforehand and then picked up again 30mins after finish to allow for a bite to eat or quick browse in a few shops of interest. So essentially drop off/pick up from known venue/place for defined activity not just roaming about for the day.
None were ever scarred by these restrictions or ran riot after getting older and some more freedom etc.

14yo is out until 9, as long as we know where - before All This it would be at a friend’s house, now it’s in a back garden or the local park. 10 on weekends when she was at someone’s house. But always home for dinner first unless agreed otherwise.

Summer months 10pm. Small market town. But I know where she is and who she is with and she usually spends her time out texting/Snapchatting me. Winter she hibernates lol. If I lived in a large town/city I’d probably have her home earlier.

dontbitetheboob am afraid to disappoint you but yes I really did know exact where my Dgd was at all times because she was not allowed to go anywhere unless we had phone numbers addresses and that included phone numbers of her mates and their parents. And as she has great respect for both me and her mother knew better than to lie to us because of the consequences in her doing so would have been extreme.

Thanks comefromaway you surely do know😄💐

Between 8-9pm on a school night. Between 9-10pm at a weekend. As long as he's contactable on his phone.

School day - 6.30 for dinner. 7.30 if she has already eaten.

We are in C London. They are hanging out by the canal or in the park. Few people here have a garden so they have to be out out. She’s already been out for a few hours by then - it’s enough and her friends are on their way home by then too.

Disappointed 😆😆

I used to give the phone numbers and addresses of where I was, to my parents too.

Didn't mean I was there 😁

Wow! My DD 13 goes out to friends houses but she's dropped off and picked up and I'm in contact withe the parents and exactly the same if her friends are with us. Can pop to the park on weekend afternoons usually. Obviously different post a COVID. The idea of her being out in the evening without knowing exactly where she is is unacceptable to me and she just wouldn't ask to do this.

Mine are older now but I'd want them back for dinner and then they can go out again until about 9pm on a school night.

I dont know what I'd do in current circumstances TBH. Much would depend on the children and who their friends were.

Mumsnet is a different world. I guarantee that most of you who "always know where your teens are" don't. You just know what they tell you.

I don't think there's anything wrong with roaming the streets, it's what I did as a teen. We weren't causing trouble, we just didn't want our parents eavesdropping all the time. My mum trusted me and allowed me that freedom so I never took the piss. I'll do the same with DS.

Some of you really smother your teens.

Mine is 13 Nd currently its 9.30pm

6.30 is early. Mine can be out till 9 week days and later at weekends. All this does depend on where he is and what he's doing. And I always know where he is and he knows where he isn't allowed to go.

Phone trackers are a marvellous invention.

10 - 11 pm with both my daughters but I knew they could be sensible. Son is 13 and I haven't said a time , tends to be in around 9pm at the latest. For a 14 year old not to be out without an adult is stifling imo.

Should have said that was pre covid. And by 'out' I mean at a friends house most of the time. Sometimes they were in the park but he always calls and asks if they can go there.