If you have a 13 year old who's out a lot, what time do they have to be home by?

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

I'm being nagged and need some perspective.

I wondered what time other people's 13 year olds need to be home by?

My sons friends seem to be out until last 8pm, and is incredulous that I ask him to be home by 6.30pm.

@Sostenueto*
There is no restriction on how long we can be out of our homes during a day although we should still be social distancing and most of us cannot stay overnight in a home that we do not live in. There was a change from just going out to exercise once per day to this situation several weeks ago.

It depends.
Out and about with no particular reason, 6.30pm is fine as I would expect him to be home for dinner and that would work.
Going to see a specific friend with a specific reason, 9.00 or 10.00pm would be ok as long as it’s not every night etc...

My 13 year olds been on 2 socialy distanced bike rides in the mornings with 1 friend (I'm good friends with the childs parents). He wouldn't socially distance in a group and I don't want to risk killing elderly clients by taking Covid to work.

And I agree about the ‘what do you mean by “out”?’. At the moment, I’m ouodnt expect him to be able to do much with friends, especially not until 10.00pm

I'm a bit shocked that anyone would think its OK for a 13 year old to be roaming the streets until 10pm, pandemic or no pandemic.

I have 14 and 15 year olds. We're happy to pick them up from friend's houses etc around 10pm, or even as late as 12pm from parties (when not in lockdown obviously).

But if they are heading into town shopping/going to the park etc they'll be back well before dinner.

The only teenagers who are roaming about round here (fairly affluent Home Counties commutersville) after 6-7 are generally smoking, drinking, using drugs or engaged in underage sex.

Mine comes in at 6 for dinner then back out until 9 (sometimes half)
Younger than yours too! Rather them out playing football and manhunt then glued to an Xbox!

Mine are 15 and 13 - they only go out if there’s a purpose and I know where they are going eg shopping with friends/ walk. There’s not usually any need for them to roam around. I’d worry too much if they did!

It depends what "out" means. Playing sport in a cul de sac or staying in a friends house is one thing. Sitting on walls,hanging around in parks smoking/drinking is v different.

Not all teenagers are smoking and drinking when they are out. Some of them do just like to wander/sit in the park and be away from adults while they chat etc.

Most people don't want 6 or 7 teenagers in their house (even before covid) so it's the only way they can get together in bigger groups.

And before anyone decides I'm being naive, my DC are older now but I overlook the local park and see lots of them just hanging around chatting etc. Yes, they sometimes get a bit silly or loud but that's it.

That is very early my 11 year old is out until after 8. He's not 'roaming' though . He's out playing football, rounders, basketball, cycling or various made up games with his friends and he's never more than 5 minutes away.
Disclaimer-not during lockdown obviously, he's only just started seeing friends again, usually 1 on 1 for a cycle.

Why are they out when we are in lock down?

Where's the assumption kids are 'roaming the streets ' until 10pm come from ?

Pre pandemic days the teens I know would be at friends gaming / at friends cooking / movie nights / out at the cinema / sometimes they'll travel on the train to the city and go shopping / to the cinema and for a meal. light summer nights they'll often be bike riding or over the beach. Sea and pond fishing has been popular. A surprising number of teens I know having fishing licenses and kit. And of course some go to the skatepark.

I feel sad for any teenager being treated like a much younger child. At least put some faith in him and stop trying to prevent him from growing up.

I find ,teens who are allowed a little bit of freedom turn into resourceful and sensible adults. A 6.30pm curfew is just ridiculous and singling him out from his friends

Catgirl - everybody in England has unlimited outdoor time. No sleepovers but presumably the teens live locally

@catgirl1976

Why are they out when we are in lock down?

Why shouldn't they be? It's fine to hang out with your friends.

Anyone who thinks their teenagers are socially distancing while they're out are likely deluded.

At 13 I'd be fine with 9pm under normal circumstances. But I wouldn't want my teenager roaming the streets at this moment in time.

My 13 y/o isn't allowed 'out'. When not in lockdown she can go out with her friends cinema/bowling/swimming etc and her friends are always welcome here but I don't see a need or benefit to hang about together in public for unspecified reasons. I'm surprised that so many are allowed, it's not something I've ever considered.

Teenagers who aren't socially distancing are copying the adults and younger children who aren't socially distancing too.

My kids aren't dating anyone so I don't have to worry about them having lots of physical contact with another person rn but I suspect they are not 2m away from friends

Around 7.00.

Wises- my dd went out earlier this week to sit in a field and chat to some friends. Outdoors is safest and I suspect they wanted privacy from the ears of siblings and parents.

Well! I've been told!

Thanks for the perspective. I've told him he can stay out until later.

He isn't roaming the streets, he's at the skate park doing a sport.

We don’t live in a particularly safe area and we aren’t on a housing estate. It really would be asking for trouble to just let them wander.

Come on, surely it depends on context? I'd always expect someone home by dinner time unless they had arranged something specific e.g. having dinner at a friend's house. That's just common manners. Also probably depends on where you live/whether there are things to do out and about that are reasonably safe. And whether I knew where to find them if I wanted them.

When my daughter was 13yrs, she had to be home before dark. In the summer months it was 9pm.
She’s 16yrs now, and comes home for 10.30pm unless I arrange to pick her up.

Yes I’d say 8 is ok. I wish my DD would go out and socially distance with her friend, she seems to have withdrawn into herself.