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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's ironic about Niqab and face coverings

616 replies

IsntItIronicDontYouThink · 18/06/2020 10:00

Just thought about this and how ironically, face coverings have become mandatory on public transports and it makes me think of Muslim women (Niqab wearing women specifically) who've had a hard time because of their face coverings to now find that everyone has to cover their faces (for different reasons yes but still ironic, isn't it?)

Googled to see if anyone else mentions this. Here's a piece I found about it (There's more but just picked this one).

www.google.com/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2020/06/12/face-mask-compulsory-muslim-women-12838585/amp/

OP posts:
Iusedtobecarmen · 22/06/2020 00:46

If I went to live in a country like Saudi Arabia (I wouldn't) then I wouldn't actually be able to walk around publicly in a bikini.

Id like to say id be made to feel uncomfortable,but it would be worse than that.
So why is it different that in the UK we have to accept the niqab even though it may be uncomfortable for us and seen as oppressive?

Linning · 22/06/2020 01:02

@Pepperwort

Women can cover (and some do cover) outside of religion, would you feel more comfortable if a woman wore something similar to a Niqab but didn’t happen to be a Niqab and didn’t belong to any religion? Would you be more comfortable and/or less bothered/more accepting of it if a woman was covered from head to toe with something that wasn’t a religious garnering?

Now that's a good question, and it clarifies things for me. No I would not feel more comfortable or accepting of it if it was outside of a religious setting. Not in a country where a) it isn't normal b) it doesn't suit the weather, and c_ it doesn't suit daily activities. We got rid of ankle-length gowns over a century ago, because they are damned inconvenient. The colour doesn't help either, as that is synonymous with mourning here. I might assume that if I didn't know the cultural associations, but mourning carried on past a reasonable length of time isn't healthy. The associations with the male gaze I would still find uncomfortable, as it would imply poor treatment from men in the past and an expectation of poor treatment from men in the future. It would assume and express a victimhood that helps no one.

Regarding your other question, we do all have to live within our cultures in some ways and establish some kind of common communication, moral and ethical frameworks, ways of working together. They can be challenged on points, but there has to be some degree of consensus. Otherwise you don't have one culture. That's simply practicality and pragmatism, and in our culture we do not mix religion and civic life. We keep powers separate, plus religion has long been disproved in any sense of physical science. It's only kept as one tool of social conformity, and I dislike the way islam seems to be trying to assert it's laws and customs over ours.

Your answer has left me even more dumbfounded and with even more questions:

What is “normal” ? who defines “normal” ? You? The majority? The minority? The prime minister? Who sets the the scale for normal and what does that include? And why should this scale be upheld over another one? What is the norm to you might not be the norm to me.

If it’s the majority and they decide something “controversial“ like Homosexuality is anormal, should they have the power to overturn marriage equality? Should it be requested gay people go into hiding and only hold hands at home and/or in private? If not, if that wouldn’t be okay to ask that of gays despite plenty of people finding “anormal” would it be okay to ask this of women who cover themselves (irrelevant) of religion?

“it doesn’t suit the weather" , again who decides who wears what and under which circumstances?and what is acceptable and “authorized” clothing for the weather. According to you should women only be allowed wear summer clothes during summer and winter clothes during winter? It’s really hot right now where I am at but I am wearing long sleeves and pants, like I do through most of winter, because that’s what I felt like wearing today, should I change into shorter clothes that suits your standards of weather appropriateness?
And ban myself from wearing anything long during warm days? Should I be boycotted?

"It doesn’t suit daily activities", again, do you know the ins and out of everyone to know what suits or doesn’t suit their daily activities? The fact that you would struggle doing your daily activities wearing something specific doesn’t mean others do. But I guess again since you don’t think it suits, we should take your words for it and make it a fact.

"We got rid of Anke length gown a century ago because they are damn inconvenient" Hmm, no, it stopped being the norm but they still very much exist. I own both ankle length dresses and skirts and I love them, they absolutely don’t limit me (don’t worry I also own clothes above the knee, who also fail to limit me before you start sweating over my wardrobe). But I guess I should burn them because they are outdated by about 100 years.

"The color doesn’t help either, it’s associated with mourning here.” Okay so black is only to be worn at funerals in the UK, noted. I am going to go tell H&M and primary that they are promoting unhealthy mourning habits through selling black tops, pants and dresses and should stop IMMEDIATELY.

Me wrapping myself in a colorful scarf from head to toe would be promoting domestic violence and encouraging future domestic violence on my person to you as well, which is just brilliant.

You say this “we do all have to live within our cultures in some ways and establish some kind of common communication, moral and ethical frameworks”

I absolutely cannot believe that you accused me of sexualizing women and politicizing their bodies when it’s what your entire post is about.

According to you (and no those are not «normal» standards just your very own, fairly twisted, ones.)
Women should only be allowed to wear:

-Weather appropriate clothes

  • Clothes YOU see as fitting for daily activities
-Clothes YOU deem as «normal» (whatever that means)

They should not though wear:

-Anything that cover them too much (based on what you would consider «too much») without it being perceived as an advertisement for domestic violence or their acceptance of potential future violence against them. (Fantastic victim blaming there slow clap)

  • Anything black, unless they want to be seen as people who promote unhealthy mourning habits and aren’t culturally aware.
  • Anything that doesn’t suit the weather. so in summer, no long-covering clothes, in winter nothing too short or showing too much skin.

Well fuck who need the patriarchy when we have you, eh?

Do you always judge women for what they wear and did you grow up that spoiled that you were taught your thoughts and opinions on other women clothing not only mattered but should be upheld and perceived as the norm for the UK?

Cadent · 22/06/2020 01:04

@Iusedtobecarmen you would like a right tit if you walked though my local high street in nothing other than a bikini.

Linning · 22/06/2020 01:13

@Iusedtobecarmen

If I went to live in a country like Saudi Arabia (I wouldn't) then I wouldn't actually be able to walk around publicly in a bikini.

Id like to say id be made to feel uncomfortable,but it would be worse than that.
So why is it different that in the UK we have to accept the niqab even though it may be uncomfortable for us and seen as oppressive?

You don’t have to, the UK could do exactly like Saudi Arabia and force women to uncover (instead of cover), after all there is a lot of logic in being outraged and judging a country in which women are being forced to wear something because the government would be uncomfortable with them not doing so and giving a pat in the back at another (the UK) for forcing women to not wear something and ban specific type or clothing.

Forcing women to do something is oppressive, you can’t claim the oppression in Saudi Arabia is bad and suggest a similar type of oppression should be okay just because Saudi Arabia does it.

Isn’t the key that you do NOT want to be like Saudi Arabia? So why ask «why can’t we do the same as them, there?»

You can if you want to be like them, if not you abstain. Simple.

Muslimah2020 · 22/06/2020 01:14

This thread has become quite nasty to be honest. And it just shows the ignorance that is so ingrained in the British society against anything that is different to them. The government allows freedom to all religions and dress, however that's not the problem is it? It's the fact that as a population there is a problem for respecting others.

I as a niqab wearing women when I lived in the UK, was spat on by 2 teenage boys as I walked past with my newborn twins in their pram minding my own business, I was outraged yet too scared to even say anything to them incase they decided to attack me. And they were young teenagers around 13/14 years old, whos parents must of held an anti Islamic view and the children had been thought that this is an ok way to treat another human being. I've also been in parks with my kids as they got older when I've visited the UK (now live abroad) and a child has hit mine for no reason in the playground, and when I've said to the parents they have ignored me and not even responded and pretended I wasn't there and also did not tell their child it was wrong or to apologise.
Despite all that I would never let my children think it is ok to judge against any religion or race and they know to treat everyone with respect and even at this young age they understand we are all different yet all the same and we should all show respect to eachother.

I wish everyone could be nicer to eachother, less judgmental and try to learn more to have understanding instead of holding opinions from the media, or other sources and not directly from the people who live that way.

I am completely against terrorism and those people who commit those crimes are not even Muslim even if they wish to be because in the Quran it says if you kill one innocent person it is as if you have killed the whole world of people.

I'll leave this thread now as I really don't want to read anymore hateful comments.

However I wish you all the best.

BendyLikeBeckham · 22/06/2020 01:34

That's bloody awful @Muslimah2020 that you experienced assault and abuse. Bastard little shits they were.

I agree that we should all be kinder and less judgmental to each other.

And I vehemently oppose any state (or religious or any other authority's) interference into what women (or men) should wear, whether prescribing or proscribing. The ban in France has caused a lot of anxiety for some women, and it angered me to see women being told to remove burkinis on the beach. It just seemed so wrong and I felt awful for those women, who no doubt will now not go to the beach or enjoy swimming there. Just as it is wrong to condition girls and women to feel they have to wear certain clothing, or for laws requiring them to wear it (in some countries).

Linning · 22/06/2020 01:40

@Muslimah2020

This thread has become quite nasty to be honest. And it just shows the ignorance that is so ingrained in the British society against anything that is different to them. The government allows freedom to all religions and dress, however that's not the problem is it? It's the fact that as a population there is a problem for respecting others.

I as a niqab wearing women when I lived in the UK, was spat on by 2 teenage boys as I walked past with my newborn twins in their pram minding my own business, I was outraged yet too scared to even say anything to them incase they decided to attack me. And they were young teenagers around 13/14 years old, whos parents must of held an anti Islamic view and the children had been thought that this is an ok way to treat another human being. I've also been in parks with my kids as they got older when I've visited the UK (now live abroad) and a child has hit mine for no reason in the playground, and when I've said to the parents they have ignored me and not even responded and pretended I wasn't there and also did not tell their child it was wrong or to apologise.
Despite all that I would never let my children think it is ok to judge against any religion or race and they know to treat everyone with respect and even at this young age they understand we are all different yet all the same and we should all show respect to eachother.

I wish everyone could be nicer to eachother, less judgmental and try to learn more to have understanding instead of holding opinions from the media, or other sources and not directly from the people who live that way.

I am completely against terrorism and those people who commit those crimes are not even Muslim even if they wish to be because in the Quran it says if you kill one innocent person it is as if you have killed the whole world of people.

I'll leave this thread now as I really don't want to read anymore hateful comments.

However I wish you all the best.

Again, thank you for your participation in this thread, most people do note dare interact with Niqabi women, and I am glad you came onto the thread to share you life with us, sorry you feel compelled to leave the thread because of how disrespectful some people have felt entitled to be toward another woman with a different culture and set of beliefs. I hope none of the comments have affected you.

Wishing you the best also. x

(Might join the other poster who asked to visit your pool once Covid is over, it sounds rather lovely!Grin)

Muslimah2020 · 22/06/2020 01:47

@Linning you're more than welcome anytime for a swim in my pool! And I was happy to share, I hope some women have learned more. And don't ever be nervous to interact with us, we are just like you. Normal women who choose to cover outdoors.

EmperorCovidula · 22/06/2020 03:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HelloToMyKitty · 22/06/2020 05:36

Why shouldn’t a confident woman who loves her body but doesn’t feel like she owes the world, especially random men down the streets, a sight of it, and would rather keep it and show more of it to whoever she sees fit and want to share it with, and therefore cover it when out and about because that’s what she enjoys doing with her body and makes her happy, be seen as any less liberated than a woman who chose to show more of her skin for similar reasons?

A niqabi doesn’t show her face to any men at all, except for related family members. She just can’t decide to show her face to a close male friend or colleague (which she would not be having). There’s no choice.

Thats needlessly cutting herself off from learning and interacting with half of humanity. Can’t you see how damaging that is in real life?

It is thought of as a protection of women, but it is disgusting sexism. Just like saying Muslim men can marry anyone, but Muslim women can only marry other Muslims. It’s meant to “protect” them but again, is another sexist imposition on their life.

IsntItIronicDontYouThink · 22/06/2020 07:10

@BendyLikeBeckham Where did I shame though? You copied part of the post and took offence claiming this is what I think when if you read the whole post before being outraged (typical when the shoe is on the other foot) you'd see I wrote this is how some behave/feel when some or society says they do all those things for men, yet will accuse others of the same thing. I wrote things I've seen everywhere online and I'm sure you have but yes let's pretend we don't know the meaning of any of those things and this is the first place we've read thise words.

Again you proved the point of that post because of how you lost it and jumped to defend yourself (without reading and understanding the full post) because it's the western style clothing that's being scrutinised.

I haven't condemned anyone's clothing choice but people have done mine and others. I only point out the double standards.

Look at yourself!

OP posts:
IsntItIronicDontYouThink · 22/06/2020 07:20

We got rid of Anke length gown a century ago because they are damn inconvenient

Watched some youtube videos last year I think where some women were still wearing the old style Georgian, Regency, Victorian, etc clothing (Think they're re-anactors) and in one of them the women was saying how comfortable the clothes are and debunking the myth (her words) that they're too warm for summer and aren't fit for normal activities. She said they actually keep you cool because you don't get the sun directly on your skin, they were shown racing, etc in them.

Been trying to find that particular video but can't. It was just one of the scenes in one video so can't tell which one is which.

OP posts:
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 22/06/2020 07:31

Muslimah2020 I’m sorry you had to deal with such nasty racist abuse there is no reasoning or excuse

IsntItIronicDontYouThink · 22/06/2020 07:45

@Muslimah2020 Thank you. I, too am tired of the thread and some people's ignorance and close-mindedness veiled as concern. I can't imagine what it's then like for niqab-wearing women. Like I wrote before, you've been extremely patient and gracious through it all. I don't blame you for leaving.

I've left a few times but keep coming back as it's a thread I started, forgetting the idiotic comments it would attract.

@Lining Thank you for all your posts. I learn a lot from them.

OP posts:
AnnaJKing · 22/06/2020 07:59

@Pepperwort “That's simply practicality and pragmatism, and in our culture we do not mix religion and civic life. We keep powers separate“

Which culture do you live in, that doesn’t mix religion and civic life? I can’t think of any. China maybe?

CountreeGurl · 22/06/2020 08:04

Yes, I've said exactly the same too

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 22/06/2020 08:07

France is a secular country

But some national holidays fall on Christian holidays

AnnaJKing · 22/06/2020 08:14

I just looked it up - France has 11 national holidays, of which 6 are Christian in nature.

That’s the thing - in Western societies so many people claim that we live in a secular country, yet it’s not. School holidays are based around the Christian calendar. National holidays are often Christian in nature. Bishops get guaranteed seats in the House of Lords. A Christian does not have to use PTO days to be absent from work for the major holidays of their religion. It’s seen as “just normal” and hence “secular” to have certain days off, yet it isn’t. Christian is seen as the default, and so ‘doesn’t count’.

Xenia · 22/06/2020 08:14

I didn't feel the thread was nasty to muslims. In fact my posts were let freedom prevail - let us be almost naked in musilm and any other areas and let women cover up wherever they like and if that upsets people they get therapy but that we do not ban things like Saudi (and to an extent France) have.

Despite our current lockdown the UK is a pretty free country where you can hold different views. Long may it stay that way. However that means we remain free to say religious dress requirements may be sexist and damage women and their daughters just as women who cover up can argue the opposite and we all just have to cope with hearing different views from ourselves even if that upsets us.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 22/06/2020 08:22

We are not a secular country France is

Regardless of the national holidays being secular extends to laws and education

It doesn’t in this country

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 22/06/2020 08:31

I agree cultural, political, religion and religious practice should always be allowed to be held up to scrutiny

In the UK we can do that. Having lived in a Muslim country I’m aware that freedom to do so isn’t allowed to the same extent. In some countries the public can’t not openly debate the politics of the ruling party

It’s a freedom that some can only dream of (but I know it’s not perfect)

Gulabjamoon · 22/06/2020 09:28

I as a niqab wearing women when I lived in the UK, was spat on by 2 teenage boys as I walked past with my newborn twins in their pram minding my own business, I was outraged yet too scared to even say anything to them incase they decided to attack me.

Sorry that happened to you Muslimah. Flowers

Where are all the people who pity Muslim women for wearing 'body bags' when they are needed to condemn what happened to you? They are silent.

BendyLikeBeckham · 22/06/2020 10:00

[quote IsntItIronicDontYouThink]**@BendyLikeBeckham* Where did I* shame though? You copied part of the post and took offence claiming this is what I think when if you read the whole post before being outraged (typical when the shoe is on the other foot) you'd see I wrote this is how some behave/feel when some or society says they do all those things for men, yet will accuse others of the same thing. I wrote things I've seen everywhere online and I'm sure you have but yes let's pretend we don't know the meaning of any of those things and this is the first place we've read thise words.

Again you proved the point of that post because of how you lost it and jumped to defend yourself (without reading and understanding the full post) because it's the western style clothing that's being scrutinised.

I haven't condemned anyone's clothing choice but people have done mine and others. I only point out the double standards.

Look at yourself![/quote]
OP, you were very clearly slut-shaming in your comments I quoted before. Making adverse judgments and derogatory statements about other women's morals. Shame on you.

You can backtrack and obfuscate but it doesn't change the fact that you think women who go to nightclubs, dance and act 'provocatively' are to be vilified.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 22/06/2020 10:11

I feel unease at hearing this as obviously not acceptable in any shape or form. Cowardly attacks on women as sport for uncultured yobs! But let’s not play the victim card so readily as look what happened in Reading - a former teacher no less just terminated in the name of whatever you want to dress it up as - insanity (and nothing to do with Islamic terrorism) or ultra religious hate public
beheading but it just adds to how much we should all respect diversity as a thing and just agree to disagree rather than pay the ultimate price! What you wear or hide/conceal on the streets in public means little to people who have been innocently killed because they are visually not cut from the same cloth. Second victim was a white American father as just announced and it was UK Father’s Day yesterday witnesses (probably not targeted) were apparently BAME. What is happening? Covid fatigue or just lack of communication and empathy towards diversity leading to hate and division. Islamic terror in the West puts everything into a perspective does it not?

Peace people - stop the race and religious warfare and just wear or not wear what you want as nobody cares if you have to conceal your identity just to be out and about anymore as we are all evidently different and diverse but not so different as to need to kill each other if not respect and love all man and womenkind.

Pepperwort · 22/06/2020 10:16

Where are all the people who pity Muslim women for wearing 'body bags' when they are needed to condemn what happened to you? They are silent

I don't have time for this in the mornings, but ffs. I will happily condemn men who spit at women. I as a normal British woman have been subjected to similar and worse attacks and sexual harassment for wandering down the streets wearing t-shirts and jeans, for no other reason than being female. You say you don't want the clothes to be the reason, and then you centre the clothes as the reason.

The idea that Victorian get-ups are as comfortable as our current clothes and allow as unrestricted movements is ridiculous. Probably re-enactment clothes on YouTube do not strictly capture authenticity of clothes from this period, since they need women to move in them. Try a whalebone corset and a socially enforced 20" waist on for size, remind yourself of why women carried around smelling salts, and then try telling me that. The ditching of uncomfortable clothes was a major symbol of women's liberation in the UK, a major step forward to allowing women and girls to participate in the same physical activities as men and boys. Which is why it comes up again and again when we see something resembling Victorian mourning returning as, apparently or so proponents claim now, a purely harmless fashion statement, not linked to a similarly retrograde step in an increasingly retrograde and repressive religion at all.