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Original poster

To ask for your controversial parenting tips?!

386 replies

Napqueen1234 · 17/06/2020 19:32

No judgement here. I want to know what you do day to day that works for you/your family but others may think are a bit crazy or controversial.

Today I told a friend that every day when kids are in bed (3 and 1) I tidy the whole downstairs and put all toys away so I can have a completely toy/child free evening. we just have one living room so all their toys downstairs are there and I can’t relax unless it’s tidy. It takes maybe 5/10 mins and is so worth it. My friend was shocked and said she could never be bothered to do that every day (fair enough) and thought it was mad considering it gets immediately destroyed by 6:30 the next morning. I wouldn’t even consider not tidying but to each their own and wouldn’t matter to me if someone else didn’t!

Ok not particularly controversial but anyone else have anything more juicy??

OP posts:
Kaathesnake · 18/06/2020 23:25

@CurlsandCurves

All hail the Medised!!😁

We used that, and gripe water as I had a very windy, burpy baby.

Only years later, did I realise that it was the Medised that gave our baby such blissful sleep...😱
He’s a robust 34 year old - and the only child I’ve ever known that still went for afternoon naps all through his teens. He’s always loved his sleep!!

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 18/06/2020 23:28

And thanks OP for this thread.. today wasn’t great and it’s made me smile.. and nice to think about my parenting wins (there’s been some epic fails along the way mind - I’m not smug!)

Catwaving · 18/06/2020 23:39

Medised was amaaaaazing, I loved a slug of that myself

Feed fruit and vegetables at the beginning of meals, before a main course. That way they eat more of the good stuff as they're so hungry

IagoWithABlackberry · 18/06/2020 23:42

@MovinOnUp

Not controversial but definitely a tip. I told my two that the tv didn't work when it was sunny outside. It was attached to solar panels you see, It needed to charge up during sunny days.
THAT IS AMAZING.
BankofNook · 18/06/2020 23:49

We went to a holiday cottage that was a 6hr drive away and when I rang my mum to let her know we'd arrived I made a comment about the DC being fed up for last 1-2 hours of it, we only had the two at that point and they were 4 and 2. She told me she used to drive much longer journeys than that when I was small and I didn't fuss at all so I asked her what her secret was: "medised, one dose and you slept the entire journey!" She told me our GP used to give it to her on prescription when my younger sibling was born so that she could dose me before bed and make sure I slept through as there was no sense waking up to a toddler and a newborn.

The good old days of parenting!

Brian9600 · 18/06/2020 23:53

My controversial tip is that 95% of what you do as a parent makes feck all difference. Your child’s personality and stage of development are what count, not your parenting style, and most of what we tell ourselves we’ve achieved in parenting would have happened anyway.

Not sure whether that is frustrating or comforting.

TheLittleDogLaughed · 19/06/2020 01:08

TV dinners. Not controversial but kind of frowned upon. Dd and I swear at each other in Liverpudlian accents when we’re pissed off or stressed.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/06/2020 01:20

TV time isn't monitored, he'll happily have it on all day but will play with toys, the guitar, a random cardboard tube, wander in and out etc. and is fine on days we forget to put it on.

He eats his dinner normally whilst wandering around, he was an awful eater, is still partly tube fed and this is what works. Making him sit still doesn't work because he doesn't, I have no bloody idea how school manage it but he's always on the go at home

Bedtime can take up to 90 minutes and DH will sit with him til he's asleep mostly.

Praguemum · 19/06/2020 01:53

My husband and I swear. Not excessively, but we do. We tell the kids that swearing is like drinking alcohol: not appropriate for children. We say that when they are adults they may choose to do either, but they should also be aware that there is a time and a place for both.

Mothership4two · 19/06/2020 02:04

I had forgotten Medized. Used it of ds1 on a couple of plane journeys. Flights on your own with a baby (so on your lap) are a nightmare.

Mine never had to eat everything on their plate. They had to at least try everything once and if they didn't like it they could leave it. This worked well and they are both healthy and non-fussy eaters

Bloom12 · 19/06/2020 02:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread. For info on how to start a thread of your own, please click here - FAQs

Sarahbeans · 19/06/2020 02:45

When my daughter was young, My husband and I decided not to give her chocolate / sweets or fizzy drinks / squash until she was old enough to know what it was and request it. After that, usual all things in moderation. I had read a theory that foods eaten before age of three set the taste buds. So I tried to delay it as long as possible.

I posted it on here, (different username back then) and you'd have thought I was abusing the poor child. I was told I'd make her fat, that she'd be sneaking chocolate behind my back, that I'd give her food issues etc etc.

Roll on 15 years I now have a daughter who likes chocolate, but isn't the biggest of fans, doesn't like fizzy drinks, often chooses plain water to drink with her meal, still not keen on squash etc. And I once got called in to speak to the teacher, because we had put some sweet treats in her lunchbox and she had been swapping them with other children to get their carrots.

So it worked, but boy was I flamed for saying I was going to do that.

sergeilavrov · 19/06/2020 03:40

@Bloom12 You should start a new thread in relationships to get guidance. Depending on his religion, he has broken Qatari law and can be fined and imprisoned for adultery (a capital punishment offence). Do get in touch via PM if you need guidance.

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 19/06/2020 04:25

DS 3y gets an hour of iPad videos every morning in our bed while we wake up, feed baby twins, grab some coffee etc. It keeps him entertained and lets us get ourselves organised for the day. We don't have a TV so this is his main screen time for the day.

maddiemookins16mum · 19/06/2020 04:29

How can ‘sleep training’ be deemed controversial? Back in the day it was known as putting your wains to bed in their rooms and not putting up with any nonsense.

JamesTKirkcompatible · 19/06/2020 08:25

The people saying their children were put back in bed til 7 if they worked early.. I think you have to have the right kind of children for that.

Mine are - when they don't want to have baths I put them in the sink "to wash them up" like plates and they love it.

Also, more disgustingly, I bribe my younger daughter to get in the bath by allowing her to do a wee in the bath deliberately just before she gets out...

Violinist64 · 19/06/2020 09:10

I was the same with my grownup children, Sarahbeans, but I allowed them a little chocolate occasionally (usually other relatives). The same with squash. Fizzy drinks were banned. Milk or water were the only drinks they had on a daily basis and, as they grew older, tea (without sugar of course). It worked.

Violinist64 · 19/06/2020 09:11

Oh, and I remember Medised too.

Lickmylegs0 · 19/06/2020 09:29

A nappy can be adapted to make an emergency sanitary towel...

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/06/2020 09:58

As a single Mum during lockdown my controversial tip is
Let the kids do what they want whenever they want so I am able to work FT and pay my mortgage

So it’s less Jo Wicks and more gaming
They also go to bed very late (after me) so I have quiet time in the morning to work

I’ve stopped berating myself , Nintendo and Microsoft and Google are my childcare right now

redwoodmazza · 19/06/2020 10:04

My DS will be 28 at the end of this month BUT when he was little, I let him eat jam donuts in the bath at the bath-time - to save the sugary and jammy mess!

dippydeedoo · 19/06/2020 10:07

I used to dress all my 3 sons in similar colours so I only had 1 load of washing!

appyday · 19/06/2020 10:20

My DD's get breakfast in bed on a school day, to keep them out the way while I do packed lunches/don't have to speak to them before I am fully awake and no longer grumpy. My DH thinks it will make them entitled - they are in their teens and can do it themselves, I know it saves my sanity - they are in their teens (enough said). Especially as he has left for work by that time, and doesn't need to deal with them. It's actually one of my guilty pleasures, peace and quiet until 5 minutes before they leave!

mrsBtheparker · 19/06/2020 11:12

My children never slept anywhere but their own rooms from Day 1, back in the late 70s. I used to get up just before feed time, make a coffee then sit and feed them in peace and quiet, I loved it. Having a baby in bed with you was a massive no-no then. I wonder in 40 years time how your children will look at your ways of looking after them???

mrsBtheparker · 19/06/2020 11:15

How can ‘sleep training’ be deemed controversial? Back in the day it was known as putting your wains to bed in their rooms and not putting up with any nonsense.

We're of a kind I think. I had to look up that silly phrase 'sleep training'.
My grandchildren who led their parents a merry dance with bedtime were never any problem, bath, cuddles, story in bed, light off, goodnight, worked every time!