To ask for your controversial parenting tips?!

[Napqueen1234]

No judgement here. I want to know what you do day to day that works for you/your family but others may think are a bit crazy or controversial.

Today I told a friend that every day when kids are in bed (3 and 1) I tidy the whole downstairs and put all toys away so I can have a completely toy/child free evening. we just have one living room so all their toys downstairs are there and I can’t relax unless it’s tidy. It takes maybe 5/10 mins and is so worth it. My friend was shocked and said she could never be bothered to do that every day (fair enough) and thought it was mad considering it gets immediately destroyed by 6:30 the next morning. I wouldn’t even consider not tidying but to each their own and wouldn’t matter to me if someone else didn’t!

Ok not particularly controversial but anyone else have anything more juicy??

We don't limit the dc's screen time at all. They have free access to TV, tablet and Xbox. They don't use them excessively and we don't have to argue about it.

I don't make the dc eat food they don't like.

When I was working very long nursing shifts, getting home around 1am and the dc would wake at 5am, I used to leave a drink, a bag of brioche and their tablet on their bedside tablet so I could stay in bed until 7am.

@Spied

My DC are paid to do there school work

How much do they rake in?

Another one - when dd1 asked what the f word was, I told her. Just asked her not to say it at school.

[quote bigcatlittlecatcardboardbox]@Cameron2012 my Mum did the same to me because I would NOT sleep. And I'd consider doing it to any children I have if I was desperate. [/quote]
My Gran used to use a ‘ Raisin teat’ on my mum, a piece of muslin with raisins soaked in brandy given to my mum to suck on until she fell into an alcohol induced sleep.
Ironically neither my mum or my children drink

I do the same. I find it easier to keep on top of things. I can’t go bed with toys everywhere - even if it does get trashed in the morning!

I'm going to be a bit controversial here but the lady bribing her two year old with chocolate buttons while having a nappy changed? Why not use them as l, and several others have done, and potty train him instead? It's a good time of the year to try and he will probably love being a "big boy."

The controversial ones in our house (context- DD’s 11, 8 and 6) would probably be:

1. No obligation to eat anything on your plate that you don’t like (but don’t expect to get anything else).

1. No obligation to tidy room (but there won’t be any new toys/clothes/treats unless there’s clearly room for them in a tidy bedroom).

1. No pressure to be dry at night (I think wet beds/ shaming are just cruel) so all 3 wear DryNites. Eldest probably won’t need them much longer as she’s only wet about once a week.

1. If a thank you letter/card has not been written within a week of receiving a gift, the gift is confiscated until the letter/card is written (never usually for long- it works wonders!)

1. No sweets with artificial colours in them as they go loco. Thankfully this is less and less nowadays but you would be surprised!

@Violinist64

Yes! Bribery works wonders for getting chores done.

No obligations to do chores in our house but promises of a small edible treat has them queuing up to help!

We've never had a routine or bedtimes. Staying up until 10pm is fine, if there's no school in the morning. We never get woken at 6am as a result.

No nappy early on, just ran round the garden naked until they learnt to hold it in. Potty trained by 1.

@Violinist64

I'm going to be a bit controversial here but the lady bribing her two year old with chocolate buttons while having a nappy changed? Why not use them as l, and several others have done, and potty train him instead? It's a good time of the year to try and he will probably love being a "big boy."

I didn’t need to bribe for nappy changing as DD was fine for those but I did for potty training.

DD was 100% not ready to be potty trained at 2. We started when she was three and it took a while for her to get to grips with it.

When mine were little, Medised was still available, anyone remember that?

I gave my eldest his first dose when he was teething really badly and his sleep was awful, he was soooo tired. Have him a dose, his eyes rolled back and he was gone for 12 hours. He was so much better after! That medicine got me through teething, illness etc. Nothing better to cure a bunged up nose. He took it, and within minutes he could breathe well enough to sleep.

When my second came along the guidelines changed and it was suitable for 2 years and up I think, then 12, then banned altogether. I admit I stockpiled a few bottles to get me through.

Same here Napqueen1234 I have 4 kids and every night without fail no matter how knackered I am I always want my living room to be a child free no toys and shite zone lol! We have a teaching/games/second sitting room and that gets tidy every day also when teaching is over!! I hate walking past anything that looks messy!!

I used to get really fed up with shrieking or arguing kids in the car. So each time it happened I'd quietly pull over. They'd ask why I'd stopped and I'd say the noise was making it far too dangerous to drive so I'm pulling over for 10 mins. I stopped 3 times once and we were half an hour late but they got the message. Now if one of them starts up the other usually says 'shhh, she'll stop the car if you don't shut up'.
Natural consequences where possible here too (obviously not the playing with matches kind!) so refusal to put on coat = cold, Not making the bed = uncomfortable bed later.

If running late for evening meal we had a back to front dinner. After a full days work, picking up from minder, weekly shopping we’d be tired and hungry so I’d serve dessert first — fruit salad and yoghurt etc while I prepared the main. Just as nutritious and prevented hungry grizzling.

Me and my teenagers frequently eat dinner on our laps in front of the tv. I don’t monitor internet use, we just always had / have lots of conversations around good choices. My 18 year old never had a curfew.

Mine is if you give your child a consequence (such as "we're going home if you don't stop shouting" or "you won't have an icecream if you don't stop doing x irritating/dangerous thing") then you follow it through. Don't know why so many parents seem to have problems with this

Yes! This!
Drives me crazy listening to parents loudly repeating ‘Tabitha if you don’t put that down we’ll go home’ 52 million times whilst little Tabitha gives zero shits and continues her business.
Do they think she hasn’t heard them?
Do they actually not get that she’s ignoring them?
Do they just want to ‘sound’ like they’re parenting whilst not actually doing anything about it?

Half the time listening to the parents loud empty threats is more draining than the misbehaving child!

Ooo.

1. food isn't a battle zone. None of my kids are fussy 23, 18, 18 and 3. They all eat pretty much everything, are active, ideal weight etc so I don't get overly stressed about them eating weird stuff. Smallest one had chocolate mousse, a brioche, raspberries and a banana for breakfast, eldest had some weird green smoothie, middle two split coffee and toast. If one eats cereal at 10pm that's fine whatever works. We eat together as much as possible and always eat dinner together.

2. clothes- the big 3 are not my problem mostly now. Little legs is encouraged to dress for what we are doing, and usually she is pretty good, she knows what to pack and wear for camping etc mostly. So I don't really care if she dresses like a vomit attack in the skittles factory at other times or if at home she is running round in her undies all day.

3. Screen time. Some and some. Lights out at a sensible time for the older ones, but we don't have a strict regime just redirect to something more fun. Little legs isn't bothered with screen time as a rule.

4. sleeping. The smallest still creeps in at about 5am and goes back off. She'll grow out of it when she's ready

This might be controversial. When they are old enough (2+), support your children to tidy up. They have to do it at nursery/preschool/school.

Maybe contraversial, my 3 year old makes his bed, puts his own clothes in the basket throws puts the cutlery on the table and clears his own plate away.

I also sit him on the kitchen worktop whilst I am cooking and let him “try” everything (except raw meat) and I let him use a small sharp knife to cut veggies. I also let him make Dad a cup of tea and he does everything except pour the water out of the kettle.

Fridays are pizza in front of the telly, unless we go out for tea at the pub, well not any more but...

He had a dummy because it helped him sleep through.

Oh also I used to pretend that Bing wasn’t on TV any more because it used to annoy the shit out of me.

I have a rule that DS1 (11) is not allowed to speak to me after 8pm sometimes I feel terrible about it (I would break the rule if he was distraught or something, but it's always "In Fortnite there's this awesome skin...") but he has ADHD and I also have a non sleeping toddler so I need my sacred hours in the evening to myself to be able to be halfway human towards them the rest of the time.

I tried to do the unlimited screen time thing but turns out my kid is the one who can't/won't/just doesn't self regulate. Oh well.

Not controversial but definitely a tip.
I told my two that the tv didn't work when it was sunny outside.
It was attached to solar panels you see, It needed to charge up during sunny days.

When mine were really small, the rule was that if they behaved going round the supermarket they could choose a sweetie at the checkout. I got trouble free shops, but dirty looks from other mums at the tills.
Once they were a bit bigger (maybe 8 give or take?) I started giving them pocket money. They could spend it as they wished; sweets, comics, plastic tat, whatever; but when it was gone it was gone. Meant I didn’t get pestered and they learned to manage money. They figured out if they skipped the plastic tat and saved up they could buy something better. From 11/12 they’ve had debit cards as well.

There is no justifiable reason to pierce a baby's ears. Ever.

Should be banned IMO.