Breastfeeding in public

[Forgivenandsetfree]

Inspired by a comment I have seen on Facebook.
I breastfed until 22 months, towards the end I didn't feed in public because of course she was eating by then but when she was small I did. Luckily I never had an issue and was treated well in my local Macdonalds and Costa, but the comment said most people have issues with Bf in public, aibu to think this isn't true?
YABU- I faced issues/I don't like it.
YNBU- I don't/ didn't have a problem.

Discrete

What D word
The one used in the sentence immediately after that one.

I didn't have a single negative comment in my years of BF. A few positive ones, but mainly I just got on with it and also found e.g. retail staff very accommodating when I asked if I could use a dressing room to BF in when mine were toddlers and very easily distracted and I wanted them to nod off to sleep so I could shop. ie it was MY choice to be somewhere quiet and alone.

The only negative comments I got were from MIL who thought I "would be more comfortable" BF away from the family and sit alone in the lounge. It happened early on in my BF days and I didn't challenge it. Maybe she could see my breasts or was worried about FIL seeing them.

Oh and my ex who got really funny about his (female) friend seeing me IN MY HOME, as I had hairy nipples. WTF.

What's wrong with discreet?

Read the post.

@Wolfgirrl

Vanishingly rare for a baby still to be breastfed by 12 months in this country. In fact tiny minority are by 9 months even

See, I dont believe this. In my antenatal group there are 8 mums, 6 of whom still bfing at nearly 1. If it were 'vanishingly rare', what are the odds of having 6 out of 8 in a single group?

I think bfing mums want to believe they're vanishingly rare, to be honest.

Some women are discreet breastfeeders and do it quietly with minimum fuss.

Others really do 'flop' it out, aka they just pull their top up to expose the entire boob and slap them on. They dont seem to notice or care that the child is coming on/off the boob and everyone is getting constant flashes of slobbery boob. I'm sorry to phrase it in such a 🤢 way, but I cant think of how else to word it!

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/breastfeeding-rates-britain-lowest-world-channel-4-dispatches-kate-quilton-a8468416.html

qz.com/1744017/why-the-uk-has-one-of-the-lowest-breastfeeding-rates-in-the-world/

@missyoumuch But where do the rates of bf come from? With DC1 I was asked at his 6 week check up if I was bf and never again. With DC2 I don't think I was asked once. Both were EBF to 6 months which apparently puts them in 1% of UK babies. But how would anyone calculate that figure?

Going back to my NCT group again then 4/8 of us were EBF to 6 months with our first DC. Seems like an unlikely chunk of those 1%.

I find it incredible that there are women out there who object to the sight of a boob. Jesus Christ.
It's pretty obvious when a woman is about to start feeding her child, maybe try not looking if it offends you.

@DappledThings Says there are surveys done every five years reported to the WHO.

www.nuffieldtrust.org.uk/resource/breastfeeding

No offense but I trust survey data over anecdotes that are based on people’s specific area/socioeconomic bubbles.

But if people look away Oyster then they're deemed prudes

@missyoumuch

Gosh then my group must be something of a unicorn in the antenatal world

Don’t be ridiculous wolf

I’ve never met a woman who wasn’t as discrete as her body and her baby allowed her to be.

so everything you haven't witnessed yourself --or have chosen not to witness- doesn't exist? That's an interesting state of mind....

Well you might believe the tit hanging out for hours, jewel tasselled, shimmying on tables stories fleur but I don’t.

I have big boobs. I also have a strong let down.

In the interests of not choking my children, I expect I wasn’t as ‘discrete’ as others or as the perfect bfing brigade would like me to be.

There was fuck all I could have done about that though. I’m so sorry that my female anatomy let me down.

@fleurdaxeny

Quite 🙄

Says there are surveys done every five years reported to the WHO.

Fair enough. So last ones in 2015 and 2020. My DC were born in 2016 and 2017 so I was never surveyed.

There are definitely socioeconomic bubbles, I said that myself before you so I don't doubt that at all. And yes it's totally anecdotal but 50% of one NCT group being in the 1% nationally does seem quite high to me.

Interesting stuff.

Laurie why does this topic make you so angry?

Of course your children weren't going to choke, how ridiculous. I too have big boobs and a strong letdown and while I didnt enjoy bf in public (entirely my own issue) there are many ways of doing it without everyone else having to see your boobs.

Laurie why does this topic make you so angry?

What’s wrong with anger?

Why does this topic make you so snide and judgemental? Actually, i could take a stab at that.

People probably didn’t see my boobs. But i struggled and felt self conscious. And I don’t think any women should feel that when she’s doing her best for her baby. But no doubt you disagree.

I forgot, DD had a hard time with a plane trip we were taking, so I fed her on the plane (and I was unlucky enough to have an aisle seat) when she was 8.5 months old and the comment from the guy across the aisle was along the lines of "isn't it great to be able to do that for them?" (probably relieved she'd stopped screaming! But very supportive tone).

@lauriemarlow

Go for it, take a stab! Intrigued to see if you get it right?

Nothing terribly controversial. I hazard your own BFing experience didn’t pan out exactly as you wanted it to. Or someone, somewhere made you feel bad about your experiences or choices.

Whatever it was, it’s no excuse for using shamingl, misogynistic language about other women and calling them ‘exhibitionist’ for a biologically normal act.

I had to formula feed my first but managed to breastfeed my second. I felt far more judged for using formula, I found myself explaining to everyone why we couldn’t breastfeed and that I really had tried everything possible. No comments at all about breastfeeding.

@BiddyPop I had the same experience of some elderly ladies being really pleased to see me breastfeeding, I thought I would get the opposite reaction and thought it a bit odd at the time but it's actually really sweet.

DH's gran who is very elderly and barely says a word was sat smiling at me feeding DS one lunchtime, she then turned to me and said "it reminds me of when my ones were little".

God I know, I don’t know why I’m getting sucked in. You’d think I’d learn.