Breastfeeding in public

[Forgivenandsetfree]

Inspired by a comment I have seen on Facebook.
I breastfed until 22 months, towards the end I didn't feed in public because of course she was eating by then but when she was small I did. Luckily I never had an issue and was treated well in my local Macdonalds and Costa, but the comment said most people have issues with Bf in public, aibu to think this isn't true?
YABU- I faced issues/I don't like it.
YNBU- I don't/ didn't have a problem.

I prefer to whack 'em out myself.

I had loads of comments, but only after about 8 months. Until then, it was all positive. This was with two children, the negative comments kicked in at about the same age.

@LaurieMarlow Time did not slow down! Were you there? Nope!

I was working there and after two customer complaints my manager had no choice but to ask her to cover up - she was no longer feeding. She locked up a right stink, got her friend to leave negative reviews etc. Until she admitted on Facebook that yes, she had indeed left herself exposed whilst rocking baby to sleep. Case closed and she was talk of the town for a good week or so. The story was in the local newspaper regarding the damage to the business

Lol at reporting me! You’re one of those people eh? Maybe do a jig with a breast out in your local - might calm you down a bit

@crispysausagerolls Well no, because I have self respect. I wouldn't behave like that. Nor would I behave like you are right now

How did you know I’m currently breastfeeding?!

YOU’RE A WIZARD, HARRY!

Well, my dc was breast fed 10 years ago and in some places there were looks and comments yes.
Even mil, friend and sil boyfriends commened. Breastfeeding in pubs was the worst.

Were you there? Nope!

Are witnesses always reliable? Nope.

Your initial post didn’t convey someone who had a positive and comfortable relationship with bfing so forgive me for the considerable skeptism when you bust out the ‘often told on here, never actually seen in real life’ tale that we’re all so familiar with.

Reporting you for troll hunting I'm afraid

Off you go sweetheart. Knock yourself out.

@Maltay

Yanbu I whip mine out all the time and couldn't care less! I've even bf in church and nobody has ever batted an eye and I live in a very rural traditional place

"even" in church? I bf in church all the time, I always thought it was the most accepting place - packed full of grannies . Besides, people can avert their eyes from feeding, but they can't avert their ears from grumbling/hungry baby.

I do remember at a Christening a mum who didn't usually come to church asked where she should go to breastfeed, and seemed very apologetic. I told her she could feed wherever she felt comfortable, and that I usually just did it wherever I was sitting, but that she could go to the vestry if she preferred.

Why do people think it's controversial to feed at church? I don't get this. Churches are very keen to make young families comfortable.

The only person who made a comment was my sister and that was with No.1 but only twice.

Otherwise, our motto was “if in doubt, whip ‘em out 😜
Restaurants, parks, people’s houses, roadside, funeral...you name it, I did it.

I’m from an Irish Catholic background, so I understand the concerns about feeding in church.

The catholic church’s attitude to the body has a huge impact on why bfing rates in Ireland are worse even than the U.K. (though I think they’re climbing fast now).

Feeding in a Catholic Church in Ireland was a total taboo until very recently. I’ve never seen it. My mother (who was supportive of bfing in the main) begged me not to even think about feeding DS1 in church 6 years ago. Luckily I spent very little time there .

They have recently come out and said bfing is welcome. Which is a huge step forward. I imagine many are still self conscious though.

@Alittleshortforaspacepooper

Wtf is ostentatious breastfeeding? It sounds awfully fancy and clever. Somebody teach me.

I believe it involves feather fans, a jewelled feeding bra and a fanfare. I never quite mastered it myself.

[quote DappledThings]@Dougalthesyrianhamster what's with the arched eyebrow? Are women not allowed to enjoy breastfeeding?[/quote]
I really want to know what this was about!

[quote Dougalthesyrianhamster]@LaurieMarlow Time did not slow down! Were you there? Nope!

I was working there and after two customer complaints my manager had no choice but to ask her to cover up - she was no longer feeding. She locked up a right stink, got her friend to leave negative reviews etc. Until she admitted on Facebook that yes, she had indeed left herself exposed whilst rocking baby to sleep. Case closed and she was talk of the town for a good week or so. The story was in the local newspaper regarding the damage to the business[/quote]
What a boring place that town must be.

Bf dd for over 3 years. I can guarantee I never once bf "for show". I'm very shy and wanted the ground to swallow me up most of the time. Had only one bad experience with a member of the public openly disproving, that was when dd was still a teeny baby, and one negative remark from a dentist when she was 1. Had a lot of negative comments from my partner's family, which left me very anxious. I stopped seeing them when dd turned about 18 months and didn't join dd and her father on visits to their house in case dd asked to bf. I think they thought I had finished bf-ing by that point. It made me very stressed but I'm glad I continued bf-ing, just wish I'd had more confidence.

I believe it involves feather fans, a jewelled feeding bra and a fanfare. I never quite mastered it myself.

Amateur. I'll teach you.

Vanishingly rare for a baby still to be breastfed by 12 months in this country. In fact tiny minority are by 9 months even

See, I dont believe this. In my antenatal group there are 8 mums, 6 of whom still bfing at nearly 1. If it were 'vanishingly rare', what are the odds of having 6 out of 8 in a single group?

I think bfing mums want to believe they're vanishingly rare, to be honest.

Some women are discreet breastfeeders and do it quietly with minimum fuss.

Others really do 'flop' it out, aka they just pull their top up to expose the entire boob and slap them on. They dont seem to notice or care that the child is coming on/off the boob and everyone is getting constant flashes of slobbery boob. I'm sorry to phrase it in such a 🤢 way, but I cant think of how else to word it!

In my antenatal group there are 8 mums, 6 of whom still bfing at nearly 1

Same. 5/8 of us were still bfing at 1 which doesn't seem too rare. But I suspect there may also be a lot of clustering where women who live in different areas have higher rates of bf. When mine were born we lived in SE London and pretty much everyone I met was bfing. Any formula before 3-4 months was pretty unusual. Not the same experience of friends who live in other places.

Others really do 'flop' it out, aka they just pull their top up to expose the entire boob and slap them on.

God, the language you use is so misogynistic. I can’t even .

I hate the ‘D’ word btw.

I’ve never met a woman who wasn’t as discrete as her body and her baby allowed her to be. But body shape, let down speeds, latch, baby’s temperament are all different and some people have an easy time of it than others.

There’s real danger than women get put off bfing because they fear they can’t be ‘discrete’ enough. Not everyone has small neat boobs and a baby with a failsafe latch.

@Rosebel I loved your comment! It reminded me of taking our newborn to meet DH’s grandad, and when she cried, I fed her. Grandad had no idea I was feeding her and commented “see, she just needed a cuddle with her mummy”.

YANBU
DD is now 14 (to give you an idea of how long ago this was) and I fed her in a lot of local coffee shops etc when I was on my own in the daytime.

I met DH for lunch in a pub in town one day and just fed her while we had our own lunch. It was quite a busy one so while we got a reasonably quiet spot, it wasn't that quiet, and full of business people but again, no issues.

I think the only 1 time I had a problem was an elderly lady when I was in a café in a garden centre.

Mostly, elderly ladies, and sometimes even gents, would come over after we were finished and say how great it was to see and wish us well. As there really weren't that many mums BFing in public at that time. (And there was no local BFing group for me to meet up with other mums).

SnuggyBuggy, yes, that's right. The Equality Act, 2010, states that it is 'sex discrimination to treat a woman unfavourably because she is breastfeeding', which applies to any public place. The law came into place after many years of campaigning by the NCT and other charities.

@LaurieMarlow

What D word?

@DappledThings yes it is not at all uncommon to see older babies bring breastfed where I live, in fact it is quite common to see large groups of mums all sat together bfing.

I think extended bfing mums would be a bit gutted if everyone did it and detracted from their 'achievement' 😂