Breastfeeding in public

[Forgivenandsetfree]

Inspired by a comment I have seen on Facebook.
I breastfed until 22 months, towards the end I didn't feed in public because of course she was eating by then but when she was small I did. Luckily I never had an issue and was treated well in my local Macdonalds and Costa, but the comment said most people have issues with Bf in public, aibu to think this isn't true?
YABU- I faced issues/I don't like it.
YNBU- I don't/ didn't have a problem.

This worries me a little for when the time comes as the place I live is somewhat backward; a local politician described BF as 'a fad' not very months ago, in a debate about family matters .

Thankfully that caused quite the scandal and number of somewhat less crusty businesses spoke up in response and offered their facilities to any Mother who needed (and I'm even talking offices with spare boardrooms or quiet spaces, not just cafes, pubs, shops etc) so I hope that when the time comes for me I'll feel comfortable.

@lauriemarlow

Wrong. Great supply, perfect latch, no pain, no mastitis. Chose to stop shortly before 6 months as I wanted my body back and for my DP to be able to do night feeds, etc. Perfect timing - baby adapted in about 5 minutes, and no prolonged weaning battle complete with meltdowns and biting. Perfect!

Love how bf mums assume anyone that doesnt 100% agree with very public and prolonged bf is a failed bfer themselves, with a horrendous backstory and emotional guilty over bottle feeding 😂😂

Given my DD is now 26 months old, I definitely wouldn't feed her in public any more, but that's mainly because my family would disown me. They think I'm a crazy hippy. I've never had any negative comments from strangers.

@tootletum so shes 2? (Sorry, bugbear of mine! 😬 )

@Wolfgirrl yeah I don't get it!! I mean what happened to "each to their own"! I don't expect people to like my choices, just as I don't always like theirs. All that matters is that we can still all be polite to each other about it, surely. Of course I prefer breastfeeding, otherwise I wouldn't do it. And yes, I think it's better for babies, but am I going to give some poor mum who's trying their best a lecture? Am I fuck...

Love how bf mums assume anyone that doesnt 100% agree with very public and prolonged bf is a failed bfer themselves, with a horrendous backstory and emotional guilty over bottle feeding

I never said any of that.

However, it always makes me wonder why someone would be so unnecessarily snide and judgemental about other women’s biologically normal choices.

@Wolfgirrl yes it's irritating, I was actually trying to find a shorter way of saying she really bloody old to still be asking me to whack em out

I don't expect people to like my choices

But what is to like or dislike about women using a body part designed to feed a child, to feed a child?

Do you like/dislike people’s choice to use their feet to walk? Or hands to hold stuff?

but am I going to give some poor mum who's trying their best a lecture? Am I fuck...

Are you reading a different thread? Literally no one has done that. The topic of not bfing hasn’t even come up.

@lauriemarlow

Because you can't accept that although like many other things it is natural, when done in certain ways it makes people feel uncomfortable.

I don't want to see people overtly itching their genitals in public either. It is natural, it doesnt affect me, I can look away - but it is still 🤢

I absolutely understand newborns and younger babies need feeding on demand, and would happily give up my seat for a bfing woman on a train for example.

But this is not the same as a woman exposing a breast to feed a 3 year old in public, it is not a need and is quite dismissive of the comfort of those around her.

@Lauriemarlow yes slightly off topic on my part I was sort of picking up the whole thing around assumptions on why people hold particular views. Anyway, all a bit bad tempered and don't want to add to it, you obviously disagree with my POV, ok then.

Because you’ve been conditioned to see breasts as primarily for men’s sexual pleasure, rather than their actual primary function, which is feeding babies and small children.

If we consider ourselves feminists, we should be questioning that and fighting it. Not shaming other women for following the biological norm.

@amymel2016 same! I didn’t BF my eldest but I did my middle successfully and attempted to with my youngest but that was a shit show from start to finish lol.

I’ve only ever received nasty comments and judgement for formula feeding, when I was breastfeeding everyone was so lovely and supportive.

Also after reading this thread I fear I’m one of those terrible exhibitionist women lol! In reality I’ve just got massive boobs and the only way I could make breastfeeding work for me and my youngest was to get out my whole boob and hold him in the rugby ball position I could never figure out how to do it discretely. He had an undiagnosed tongue tie and I barely produced much milk thanks to my packed in thyroid so he often fussed and wriggled and screamed most likely meaning the whole room of wherever I was saw my entire boob because babies are bloody fas when they decide to pop of the boob! I always had a muslin at the ready to cover up with but didn't always get there in time.

However, it always makes me wonder why someone would be so unnecessarily snide and judgemental about other women’s biologically normal choices.

don't be disingenuous. No one is attacking our right to breastfeed, we are pointing out that it's perfectly possible to BF in public quietly. You don't have to hide under a table or in public loo, you don't need to flaunt it either.

Pretty sure it's mainly the mothers who did breastfeed - because they wanted to, or simply because they could - who can safely testify that not only it's perfectly possible not to make a big song and dance about it, and that they never experienced any negative reaction whilst out and about.

The ones who complain about are the ones who very clearly try to make a ridiculous statement and were completely inappropriate.

Dw had friend used to come round then when needed to feed would have a big sheet type of thing. Disappeared under it think halloween ghost and just awkward she was always ranting about people need to accept and get over b feeding it wasn't the feeding that made it awkward it was casper the ghost sat on sofa trying to have a conversation .
Other friend would be feeding don't think she even stopped talking or even looked down to check when she starting doing it nobody cares

@LaurieMarlow would you feel uncomfortable if a man sat next to you kept itching his genitals?

@Wolfgirrl

Love how bf mums assume anyone that doesnt 100% agree with very public and prolonged bf is a failed bfer themselves, with a horrendous backstory and emotional guilty over bottle feeding 😂😂

Do they?

[quote Wolfgirrl]@LaurieMarlow would you feel uncomfortable if a man sat next to you kept itching his genitals?[/quote]
If you think ball scratching is comparable to babies feeding, no wonder you've got issues with it. What on earth happens at your dinner parties??

@shebashimmyshake you've clearly never had thrush!

would you feel uncomfortable if a man sat next to you kept itching his genitals?

See, unlike you, I don't equate breast with genitals. There are biological and cultural reasons why sexual organs are hidden.

But I don't see breasts as primarily sexual. Rather their purpose is to feed babies.

So let's substitute 'genitals' with 'arm'. A body part, with a clear and useful function.

No, no problem with a man itching his arm beside me. HTH.

What on earth happens at your dinner parties??

YNBU

I've had 4 and BFd them all, in public, wherever, whenever they needed it.

I did do the two top trick and tried not to expose myself too much.

Never had an issue.

No one is attacking our right to breastfeed, we are pointing out that it's perfectly possible to BF in public quietly.

Which is what everyone is doing, so no issue right?

Or should we resurrect the ostentatious conversation and get out the nipple tassles again?

Sounds like @passthemustard got the balance right!