Breastfeeding in public

[Forgivenandsetfree]

Inspired by a comment I have seen on Facebook.
I breastfed until 22 months, towards the end I didn't feed in public because of course she was eating by then but when she was small I did. Luckily I never had an issue and was treated well in my local Macdonalds and Costa, but the comment said most people have issues with Bf in public, aibu to think this isn't true?
YABU- I faced issues/I don't like it.
YNBU- I don't/ didn't have a problem.

I feed both mine in public. One is 9m and the other 2.5 years. Normally I feed the baby in the sling and I can keep the toddler distracted or give her food, but sometimes she just wants milk, like if she gets upset or if she notices me feeding the baby. I have absolutely tandem fed in public without using a cover. I'm probably the person certain plates are moaning about as my kids might well have looked around and it's pretty obvious if you're feeding two. I have also been the one going round the supermarket with a tired toddler sitting in the trolley and a boob in her mouth. I can't remember specifically where I've tandem fed but it's likely to include elderly relatives' houses and church. If my kids are welcome there then I expect to be able to provide milk and emotional support to them if needed.
I started out not wanting to tandem feed in public then I realised I'd have to be prepared to deal with toddler tantrums while i was feeding her baby sister, that or just stay at home unless my husband came too.
Someone mentioned that women feeding toddlers have a sort of weird co-dependency - well yes we do. It's because I'm her mum, breastfeeding is a complete distraction and friends who bottle fed from birth have a similar thing. My eldest is two. She's tiny. She depends on me for food, shelter, safety, etc etc. She's also insanely important to me. If she disappeared I'd miss her, you know?
I don't get why any of this would matter to anyone else outside my immediate family. The only comment I had was once when I was feeding newborn first child in a public library and was asked to use the disabled toilet. Since then, no issues.

*It's basically the same thing. I don't want to see another woman's boob as I find it icky. It is natural, but not something I want to see.

I'm sorry that offends you, but 🤷‍♀️ it is what it is.*

@Wolfgirrl you find breasts icky? Are you actually a grown woman?

And a bottom isn't the same, it's where waste comes out so dirty and that's why in some societies bums and genitals are covered, but not breasts which are clean and serve to feed a child.

You commented quite a lot on a thread around the culture of breastfeeding in this country but never mentioned that you though seeing a breast was icky. I think that would have been quite relevant to the thread, seeing as societies view that breasts are sexual is preventing a lot of mothers from breastfeeding.

He's mostly weaned now, but fed DS pretty much wherever he needed it, although sometimes it was easier to give him a bottle once he got a bit wigglier. I could only handle him flinging himself backwards towards the very pretty, very cast iron edge of the cafe table so many times.

Only particular reaction I've had has been the people across the aisle wincing on my behalf when I fed him on the train while he was in his phase of making a pterodactyl noise as he pounced on my boob. A surprising number of the local cafes magically develop table service when you're feeding a baby, by any method!

My poor father still isn't 100% with it, and tends to avoid eye contact while feeding is in progress

Some of the comments on this thread have given me a right laugh!

Wolfgirrl you do seem to have issues with breastfeeding. Maybe you should stay off all the breastfeeding threads?

@Hollywhiskey

Hats off to you. About to start tandem feeding - would in no way have the nerve to do it in public!

@crispysausagerolls oooh exciting good luck! I never planned to do it in public until my toddler had a meltdown when I was sitting in a cafe feeding her sister! And contrary to what this thread makes me feel, no one in real life has been anything other than lovely
X

I have also been the one going round the supermarket with a tired toddler sitting in the trolley and a boob in her mouth.

some people really are looking for a reaction

@Hollywhiskey

I never planned to do it at all but due in 2 weeks, DS showing no signs of stopping and I can’t really see any reason to. Yes; I have also never experienced anything unpleasant feeding the one! Just from family 😬

Still BF my 3 year old! And I hate breastfeeding! I wanted to stop when he was 6m, but he absolutely loves it and has fed like a new born until quite recently. I stopped in public when he was about 18 months old, unless he's hurt himself in which case I let him otherwise he's inconsolable bless him. So, nfed bfing in our case definitely not for show and definitely not for my own benefit!

Do people really care? BF wherever your child needs feeding! I imagine the last thing any normal person cares about is how or where you feed your child.

'Normal' being the operative word!

My little girl is 18 months and, until the start of lockdown, we were pretty much finished feeding in public. She was at nursery three days per week and had cut down dramatically on how much she was feeding. Now that we’re at home together all the time, she’s feeding loads more, and I don’t know what it will be like as things get back to normal. I don’t particularly want to feed in public now because I’m afraid of other people judging, but it will be difficult to put her off now that she’s used to having me on tap. If I do have to feed her in public, it won’t be for attention or to get a reaction: it will be because that’s what she needs, and as her mother, it’s my job to provide that.

It makes me laugh that people really think that women who breastfeed past one are doing it for attention or think they deserve a medal. No, actually we are just doing what we think is best for our children and in most cases wouldn't want any attention on ourselves. Personally, I'm real life I hardly told anyone I was still feeding unless they asked outright.

I imagine the last thing any normal person cares about is how or where you feed your child.

Well, yes.

To the 'be discrete brigade' how many times have you made a complaint about boobs in advertising? Even just complaining in general conversation?

Excellent point.

But it’s never been boobs that’s the problem, has it? Boobs are widely visible for those who want to see them.

It’s the function of those boobs that’s the issue.

I intended to breastfeed for six months and ended up doing it for 15. If you've got any experience of breastfeeding, you'll know how that can happen, even if it didn't happen to you.

Anyone who thinks I was doing it because I just got such an exhibitionist thrill out of it can, well, suck it.

@LaurieMarlow

To the 'be discrete brigade' how many times have you made a complaint about boobs in advertising? Even just complaining in general conversation?

Excellent point.

But it’s never been boobs that’s the problem, has it? Boobs are widely visible for those who want to see them.

It’s the function of those boobs that’s the issue.

Yes, and any purpose that isn't for sexual titillation is invalid!

I know a lot of these complainants are women. Unfortunately, internalised misogyny is a thing.

@LaurieMarlow agreed!

It's all fine for a man to leer at, for advertising or on a beach but an innocent child eating is obscene

I don't want to see another woman's boob as I find it icky

Incredible. Your opinion on the ickiness of breasts explains a lot but is irrelevant. You might find my breasts ‘icky’ but I care far more about feeding my child than offending you, weirdly

@Dinocan She can’t. I’ve already been in 3 threads where the op was just wondering how long we’ve bf for and I’ve found wolf lecturing others how bf others past 3 months is wrong cuz that’s what scientists say and also doing comparisons and telling off the rest how wrong we are for still bf our babies as we are lazy.

I’ve opted for giving her a diabetic cookie and ignore her. I’m proud of myself for still bf my 26m baby. If someone on mns gets offended then there are too many problems in the world to continue feeding this kind of actitudes

Anyone who thinks I was doing it because I just got such an exhibitionist thrill out of it can, well, suck it.

I just can’t even fathom this line of thinking.

My boobs were a nightmare when bfing. Huge, veiny, leaky, sore. They were like the anti-sex.

If I had exhibitionist tendencies, I’d chose a time when my boobs weren’t likely to leak milk everywhere to show them off. I think anyone would.

I don't admit this very often but I'm squeamish about little babies being bottle fed. When I see it it makes me feel a bit icky and I have to not watch.

I am well aware this is entirely my issue, that I am being monstrously unfair to feel this way, that I have no right to do so or to care at all and that it is my responsibility entirely to manage that reaction, to try to unpack why I feel like that and not to outwardly display even the tiniest bit of how I feel.

The same should be said of those who dislike seeing breastfeeding.

I've also seen Wolf all over these threads and it's interesting that she thinks people breastfeeding past a certain age is attention-seeking, since seeking attention is exactly what she is doing with all her inaccurate and goady posts.