Breastfeeding in public

[Forgivenandsetfree]

Inspired by a comment I have seen on Facebook.
I breastfed until 22 months, towards the end I didn't feed in public because of course she was eating by then but when she was small I did. Luckily I never had an issue and was treated well in my local Macdonalds and Costa, but the comment said most people have issues with Bf in public, aibu to think this isn't true?
YABU- I faced issues/I don't like it.
YNBU- I don't/ didn't have a problem.

To the 'be discrete brigade' how many times have you made a complaint about boobs in advertising?

I haven't posed with my boobs out for any advertising campaign, and I have never made a big show of BF my kids in public, and I never had any negative reaction about it. Not sure what your point is, most mothers manage perfectly well to BF discreetly - covering yourself completely in a blanket is hardly being discreet either and talking from underneath it is ridiculous

I give you a clue, most people can't even see if the mother is breastfeeding or giving a cuddle... that's what being discreet means, just be ... normal.

@somethingsnappy

Completely agree

@FleurDaxeny

Have you never had a baby latch and unlatch whilst screaming? Drawing a lot of unwanted attention and nipple flashing?!

Breastfed in public no bother! In front of my uptight awkward and easily embarrassed family... Nope! Even thinking about it annoys me. I'm sure they'd rather I'd bottle fed just because it would make them feel easier. Anyway, stuff them! And stuff anyone else who is uptight about it.

@FleurDaxeny that's great, it's the dream to be able to feed discreetly like that. My DS would simply not allow me to cover his face, muslins didn't stand a chance and just got ripped off. I'm sure a few people did catch a glimpse of nipple but really I don't GAF.

Oh but I still breastfed in front of them, fuck 'em!

Breastfed for 8 months. No negative comments. I really hope that the thought of negative comments doesn't put women off. It's a natural and wonderful thing to do.

@FleurDaxeny you’re not reading what anyone is writing are you?

and I have never made a big show of BF my kids in public

Nobody is making a big show! Some people will find it easy to breastfeed without too much hassle and others won’t because of larger breasts, fussier babies etc etc. Whether a woman has barely a peep of skin on show or a whole breast out she is NOT doing it to annoy you, titillate you or offend you. Why on earth do you think that she is?

Breastfed DS for 18 months.

One negative experience in public. It really shook me - two women mocking me in a cafe. DS was around 15 months.

DPs family were always unsupportive. "When are you going to stop?!" They'd say.

But does nobody think that if you were, say, having coffee and cake in a cafe, a woman with a full boob out with a toddler pinging on and off would put you off? I would feel awkward and a bit 🤢

Why is it so hard for you to acknowledge the feelings of others, or do only yours matter?

I breastfed both and the only negative comments I ever received were from MIL who felt breastfeeding wasn't appropriate or necessary. John Lewis in Solihull were by far the best place I visited whilst breastfeeding - they genuinely couldn't do enough for me.

@Wolfgirrl no, not really. Just out of curiosity is it disgusting to you because the child is a toddler or the pinging on and off the boob?

@sqirrelfriends both. I dont want to see someone else's boob while having a coffee, and I shouldn't have to really. Of course a baby's need to be fed trumps my unease but a toddler doesnt need it. So not only is it awkward for others its unnecessary 🤷‍♀️

Not to mention the feelings of the child being fed, are their feelings not important too?

I've only one had an issue, in Ikea when a (poorly trained) member of staff told me I couldn't breastfeed (in the children's section next to the play area where my toddler was playing 🙄). I ended up having a chat to the store manager who was v apologetic and I suggested it be flagged and staff be retained.

I've been boobing for almost 4 years straight now and not much embarrasses me!

@sqirrelfriends depends, as I said if it was a baby then yes. A 2 year old doesnt need it and can wait until a more appropriate time.

@Wolfgirrl

But does nobody think that if you were, say, having coffee and cake in a cafe, a woman with a full boob out with a toddler pinging on and off would put you off? I would feel awkward and a bit 🤢

Why is it so hard for you to acknowledge the feelings of others, or do only yours matter?

Why do you write this as if there is no context?

And no, when it comes to feeding babies in the natural and perfectly hygienic way (with no disrespect to bottle feeders), your feelings don't matter. Not one bit. Why should they? Why on earth should breastfeeding women have to stay at home or deal with hungry kids or have to faff with bottles when they don't want to just because of your feelings?

If you don't want to share your space with breastfeeding mums, eat your cake at home.

But does nobody think that if you were, say, having coffee and cake in a cafe, a woman with a full boob out with a toddler pinging on and off would put you off? I would feel awkward and a bit 🤢

I really, really wouldn't feel anything - I think possibly because as a family we're quite liberal about bodies etc, or possibly just because other women's bodies/breasts don't repulse me.

My feelings don't count for more than anyone else's feelings, but a child breastfeeding is never something I'd grimace at, and since breastfeeding can legally be done out in the open without (and rightly so) there's no point making it about feelings because this is a fact of life.

@Wolfgirrl it's your opinion that a toddler doesn't need it. What if was time for milk, do bottle fed toddlers not have milk out and about at the usual time? What if the child was upset, breastfed babies rely on it for comfort, or would you rather they cry?

Opinions like yours are part of the reason for the extremely low breastfeeding rates in this country.

HenSolo
a woman BF a toddler sitting in a supermarket trolley or in the middle of a swimming pool is doing it for attention, let's not pretend otherwise

[quote Wolfgirrl]@sqirrelfriends depends, as I said if it was a baby then yes. A 2 year old doesnt need it and can wait until a more appropriate time.[/quote]
I could say the same about your coffee and cake. You don't need it and if you don't like someone feeding around you, you can wait until a more appropriate time.

What if was time for milk, do bottle fed toddlers not have milk out and about at the usual time?

most toddlers are no longer bottle fed...

@FleurDaxeny those examples are in the minority, most people will try to cover up (not that they should have to).

@ShebaShimmyShake great. So next time I want to have a wee I won't find a loo as that's a faff, I will just pee in a bottle or something. Doesnt affect you, right? Unless you find a natural process so disgusting? Anyway your feelings wouldn't matter one bit as I'm the one who needs a wee so...

@sqirrelfriends you don't bottle feed toddlers that's the point 😂😂 past the age of 1, a toddler only needs a balanced diet and water for nutrients. So they would have juice, water, whatever.

If they're upset give them a cuddle, why do you always have to get the boob out? They have to stop at some point.

I dont want to see someone else's boob while having a coffee, and I shouldn't have to really. Of course a baby's need to be fed trumps my unease but a toddler doesnt need it.

Stay home and drink your coffee - that way there's no risk to your poor fragile eyes.

How do you know a toddler "doesn't need it"? Have you any evidence for this? I'm quite sure the WHO guidelines for breastfeeding suggest it's optimal til two years and beyond.