To feel as though I've been judged as a potential shoplifter

[101stNC]

I was in boots and thought I'd get myself a BB cream whilst in there collecting a prescription.

As I'm browsing the make-up kiosts looking at the options I can see the female security guard(?) has left her position near the door to come to the make up isle and stood at the end of the isle watching me closely. After a couple of minutes she approaches me and says that due to coronavirus testers aren't available which is fine by me as I had no intention of opening any of the creams anyway

She walks off back to the end of the isle and continues to watch me closely. I choose the one I want and make my way to the tills around the other end of the shop, I stop to pick up the dummy my daughter dropped and when i looked up the same employee is following me through the shop.

She only buggers off once she has seen me pay for my items.

I wanted to address her and ask what the issue was but as soon as she saw me leave the cashier she walked out of sight.

For context I'm 26, casually dressed (trainers and leggings) and have my little girl in the pram. I'm not a drug user and don't look scruffy (I hope!)

I phoned my DM to have a moan and ask whether it has ever happened to her, she said no despite the fact she regularly uses boots, Superdrug etc.

Today has reminded me of a separate incident where the same thing happened in a shoe shop, again where I was casually browsing to then buy.

I'm offended and embarrassed that this is the impression shop keepers get of me, what is the likely reason? Age? Pram? Trainers?

It's absolutely not the case that this happens to everybody as confirmed by the multiple friends I've asked since. She looked at me and made a judgement.

WIBU to complain or is that overkill?

No seriously OP
It wasn’t meant to be nasty
But seriously - don’t let trivial stuff like this distract you from the very disturbing stuff going on on your life.

I don’t see how you can take this personally. It’s just someone doing their job. They can follow me around the shop all day if they want - as long as they don’t call the police wrongfully arrest me for stealing why would I care?

I have had it before - I am in my 60s and slightly on the scruffy side, jeans, trainers etc, I find it really amusing tbh. I often say to my DH that even if I won the lottery jackpot I would still dress like I do and would still get followed for looking 'dodgy'

This happened to me multiple times in Boots when my daughter was younger. I have to dress smartly for work, so outside of work I'm always in leggings. Throw in a pram for good measure and I always got eyeballed by their security. It's got better since my daughter isn't in her pushchair!

It's the pram. The only times I've ever been followed was when Ive had a pram. In the the end I thought I'd wind them up even more by placing any items I was planning on buying on the hood, rather than in a basket, before I went to the till. Small things.....

@Juliet2014

No seriously OP It wasn’t meant to be nasty But seriously - don’t let trivial stuff like this distract you from the very disturbing stuff going on on your life.

Well it certainly seemed that way.

"Oh I remember you" then bringing a completely separate issue and delicate subject onto this thread to draw attention to it.

Were you genuinely concerned that a minor annoyance like this today would prompt me to forget about the other, more serious problem in my life? Or did you just want to humiliate me?

As you were.

It seems I fit the bill today then, pram leggings and trainers

Every time I went in Boots (regularly for kids vitamins and nappies etc) my daughter-in a buggy would steal tonnes of stuff. Tonnes. I didn't realise the first few times until I'd left. Eventually they got used to seeing me return with packs of random senior citizen vitamins or make up testers. So embarrassing.

My son in a buggy once stole a PUMPKIN! I kid you not. That was an embarrassing one.

I can understand it's embarrassing but you don't have a justified complaint. She was doing her job. Get over it

I'm not sure why it bothers you so much, I've often noticed that I am being observed, who cares? I have absolutely no interest in what a security guard thinks of me or my appearance

I am a thoroughly respectable pillock/ pillar of the community, and I have had this happen to me. It’s not nice and it makes you feel bad precisely because you would not behave in that way. Those who would would have no shame.

It’s not personal, it’s unfortunately what happens in a world where quite a lot of people don’t behave well, everyone becomes a suspect. Nowadays I make a point of holding any small item I’ve picked up well in front of me so it’s obvious I’m not trying to hide it. Some store detectives are better at their job than others, but try not to take it personally, even though it’s not nice.

I've been followed around supermarkets and shops before. It is always when I'm dressed down and in my scruffs 😂

I have never had this issue when I'm dressed for work or smart casual.

I don't let it bother me as they're just doing their job and have probably seen a lot of shoplifters in their time. I just happen to fit the description sometimes...

As per previous posts, I am not complaining and I'm over it ffs

Crossed posts. That wasn't directed to those commenting with their experiences or theories as to why it happened. Apologies

That is appalling, @insideoutsider. I’m so sorry.

Literally everyone is a potential shoplifter. She was doing her job (very well by the sounds of it). Next time you're out shopping remember to pick up a grip.

When I worked in a very famous department store the one suspicious person I spotted acting oddly - turned out to be a store detective - fortunately my colleague recognised them before I reported them.

How was he "acting oddly"?

Yes I'm sure nobody else would feel very uncomfortable being followed around a shop, me and the others upthread all need to get a grip.

I've said I won't be reporting her, about five times now.

Agree it was the pram.

Once in boots at Liverpool st station I bought perfume, but in some scam when i opened the box (a few weeks after buying it, and losing the receipt) it was just a dummy glass bottle. I was stunned. I brought it back to boots and I cannot have been the only person to have done that but they would NOT countenance the possibility that I had been the victim. I am Irish and have a middle class accent and I know that in Brown Thomas it would have been ''so sorry madam'' but in Boots, I was an Irish shop lifter. It is quite shocking when you realise that some profiler has pigeon holed you like this.

@Juliet2014

Oh I remember you from a recent thread you started.

You have bigger issues with your gross DP than this OP!

What a dick head comment

@101stNC

Yes I'm sure nobody else would feel very uncomfortable being followed around a shop, me and the others upthread all need to get a grip.

I've said I won't be reporting her, about five times now.

Just to add I always get followed. I don’t know whether it’s my stance if I hover in a shop lifting kind of way or maybe fiddle too much with the product

Lady two times I’ve been in boots I was watched.

40 and I swear I don’t dress scruffy 😂😂

I’m obviously utterly honest looking. When I had a pram it wasn’t infrequent for me to go back to shops, rather shamefacedly, to pay for all the stuff I’d forgotten about in the basket

And my finest hour was when I was Christmas shopping one year (with no dc, so can’t claim I was distracted by them), looked down at my arm in M & S, and realised that I was clutching a large Primark basket stuffed full of clothes. Nobody had stopped me leaving Primark, and nobody stopped me as I slunk back in.