To have told friend he's a weirdo?

[orangecats]

I am furloughed and so is a friend of mine. During the week we chat a lot to pass the time when we would be at work usually.

Yesterday, being the weekend, I didn't message him apart from replying to a few random photos he had sent. He then messaged me goodnight at around 9:30pm so I responded with a thumbs up emoji.

At 10:30 he sent me paragraphs of messages, saying I was rude for not talking to him because he can see I'm online, and doesn't he deserve a 'goodnight' message from me? He said I was impolite, and I have no consistency because I message a lot during the week and not at weekends and maybe I am doing it to test him

I said he is being a complete weirdo and acting a bit crazy. That I need space on weekends and Also, I'm allowed to be online and not talk to him he seems to think it's rude if he sees me online and I'm not messaging him.

I've told him now that I'm only going to speak to him during the week, during work hours, because he seems to feel entitled to my time and it isn't healthy.

Weirdo sounds right on! I wouldn't want to communicate with him at all, ever again.

Yeah, weirdo...

There’s clearly some confusion about whether he’s a friend or a work colleague. Maybe he thought there was more to it or maybe he’s an entitled arse who expects women to be at his beck and call.

You’ve set boundaries with him now, if he doesn’t respect them then enforce them and tell him that you’ll report him to work/police if he keeps being an idiot.

Amy Schumer examined this issue he's a clingy fragile guy also known as a "hello m'lady", he thinks as long as he never asks you out there is some sort of schrodingers relationship. He's possessive as he thinks he owns you - he has dibs on you. He does little favours or says nice things then thinks like a deposit account, you owe him niceness back. He's one of those guys who think if you insert enough "niceness tokens" in the woman machine, that sex should pop out and, when they want it, a relationship.

Obviously, don't ever enter any sort of relationship with him, if he's like this now, imagine the entitlement if he actually "owned" you.

These guys are a total nightmare to break up with - worse with children involved.

Tldr: YANBU, run woman! 🏃‍♀️

Hello M'Lady:

Also see xkcd "Friends":
xkcd.com/513/

I imagine he'll be waking up shortly with a hangover and a vague feeling of dread, which will transform into an awful certainty when he opens his phone.

If a grovelling apology isn't forthcoming today, I'd be seriously worried.

Does he think you're more than just friends?

[quote PicsInRed]Amy Schumer examined this issue he's a clingy fragile guy also known as a "hello m'lady", he thinks as long as he never asks you out there is some sort of schrodingers relationship. He's possessive as he thinks he owns you - he has dibs on you. He does little favours or says nice things then thinks like a deposit account, you owe him niceness back. He's one of those guys who think if you insert enough "niceness tokens" in the woman machine, that sex should pop out and, when they want it, a relationship.

Obviously, don't ever enter any sort of relationship with him, if he's like this now, imagine the entitlement if he actually "owned" you.

These guys are a total nightmare to break up with - worse with children involved.

Tldr: YANBU, run woman! 🏃‍♀️

Hello M'Lady:

Also see xkcd "Friends":
xkcd.com/513/[/quote]
This is all spot on
I would dial WAY back on the contact tbh

Very weird!

Work place issues only in works time.
Stick to it.
Creepy as fuck.

He’s probably got the impression you’re more than work friends with the constant messaging back and forwards in the week and probably feels a bit used?
Just seeing it from his Prespective.

Talk of the police is extreme, but you’re right to tell him his behaviour isn’t on. The screenshots would be the thing bothering me most - it’s suggests he’s the kind of person who’ll play the blame game.

Anyone who feels “used” because a woman is nice to them needs their head examined.

I don't 'use him' for messaging during the week, he is always messaging me first.

WOW, yup, a bit crazy.

Clearly, he thinks a lot more about the relationship than you do.

Like said above, unless a grovelling apology arrives at some point today, you need to dial RIGHT back on this dude.

I'd just stop completely if I were you tbh.

Tbh I wouldn’t talk to him again.

Just carry on as you were, and tell him if he’s looking for more you’re not. He can choose to walk away or stop being daft.

I wouldnt bother in the future. Tell him to get a hobby.

I've told him now that I'm only going to speak to him during the week, during work hours, because he seems to feel entitled to my time and it isn't healthy.

Make sure you only speak about work issues, too. Otherwise he'll feel entitled to all your time during work hours.

Does he want to be in a romantic relationship with you?

OP, I have a work colleague like this! We started texting about work things, but then he started texting in non-work time, and I found it all a bit full on, to the point where I had to start ignoring the texts. BTW I never actually gave him my number, he got it from a staff list at work before gdpr became a thing!! We are both married with kids! So I never suspected a thing! But picsinred has got this spot on. We are back at work now, and he has been really 'off' with me!!!! I expect he feels 'used' too, but that is really not my fault or my problem!! I feel the 'niceness in the deposit account' is a perfect description!

Yeah he's a massive weirdo who feels entitled to your time.
The best thing you can do is set boundaries, so well done.

I think he thinks your friendship or work relationship, whatever it is, might be more.
Yanbu to make your feelings clear.

I would just stop texting with him altogether.

@PicsInRed I normally find Amy Schumer really annoying but this is so accurate.