There is no such thing as "the terrible twos"?

[maybemaybeII]

Not a TAAT but there is an active thread about how parenting a toddler is hard and many parents leave their child in the cot and just walk out for 5minutes to get a breather because they can't cope.

I have two toddlers of different ages, very close age gap, but have never yelled at them or put them in "time out", or felt the need to walk away from them because they're misbehaving and driving me crazy. They've never drawn on the walls, or poured a packet of flour on the flour, or gone in to my makeup bag and destroyed my lipstick.. all the stuff you see on Instagram from time to time with a caption "toddlers are dicks/arseholes".

I'm not a perfect mum, my toddlers are currently watching Hey Duggee and about to have pain au chocolat's for breakfast (!!), and yes it is absolutely exhausting having a toddler, but AIBU to think some of the blame with badly behaved toddlers does in fact lie with the parent and "terrible twos" in bullshit? Getting my tin hat on!

I have 3 children, first two children no terrible twos but I'd say age 4 was tough. 3rd child terrible 2's for sure 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

Your post is as patronising as your comment on the post in question.
Go you.

My two didn't have tantrums or the so-called terrible twos. Now they're teens they don't act like the brats I read about on here. I guess it's to do with parenting?

Oh your kids are 2.5 and 16 months. Don't count your chicken just yet 😂 my youngest was an angel at almost 3, untill he wasn't 😉 I've no doubt your time will come, if not now when they are 4 or 5 or 6 or you know teenagers. 😂

Mine was absolutely fine age 2.

Age 3.5 and he is imaginative. Which means occasionally he does some mad stuff he doesnt know is wrong.

Sadly OP the children who do nothing are often the placid dull ones.

Akiss.

Maybe. Or maybe some kids are boring as fuck.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland you're calling kids boring as fuck because they don't have tantrums? That's as bad as the OP acting as though she's the best mum ever that has angels for children.

Some do, some don't every child is unique and has their own personality, such a pissing contest on here

Threenager isn't a word

Oh and just to add,;if you give toddlers Choc au pain plus tv at breakfast of course they won't tantrum. Now be a parent and give them a healthy breakfast plus other things not designed too appease their tiny little hearts and then you might just see the behaviours emerging. I could have gone down the route of giving my kids everything they wanted to avoid tant rums but that's not affective parenting and you will find they turn into brats from hell when they enter school and realise in the real world they don't get everything they want.

Absolutely, but no amount of perfect parenting can prevent a child who is prone to it from ever having a single tantrum.

Akiss - my kids aren't tantrum prone either. It's because their personalities mean they respond differently. They have traits they get from their dad, nothing will make him have a row etc.

Hello my2bundles. My child (as a toddler) often enjoyed a pain au chocolat with strawberries and raspberries (also high sugar) for breakfast. Their behaviour didn’t change for the worse. We also watched Peppa Pig whilst eating it

Threenager isn't a word

It's a common colloquialism / idiom comparing the behaviour of three year olds to that of teenagers. Perfectly acceptable and widely used in the media and general speech. Shakespeare made up a lot of words that didn't exist at the time. Threenager is not really much of a difference.

This whole thread is so awful I'm really surprised it's still up. The OP is goady as fuck, it's a TAAT anyway (and a really nasty one which has upset the original OP), but now people are also responding by slagging off the personalities of toddlers and calling them thick and by pretending that 30 minutes of cartoons and a pain au Chocolat is child neglect rather than perfectly normal parenting. None of it is really in the spirit, is it? Weren't we all supposed to be being kinder or something?

Do you mean on MN that women support each other? Surely not? It’s not on to describe children in the way some posters have. But am I surprised? Of course mot. On other threads, posters who say they are teachers have said they don’t want to teach germ ridden children. It’s not very pleasant is it? Who wants to have their DC taught by someone who thinks like this?

Terrible twos is a developmental phase, a really important one which largely determines how your child will cope with life and how you will cope with your child through life.

Both child and parent should feel they can express their frustration without being judged.

My eldest son is beautifully behaved at 12 but was brilliantly naughty at 2. My favourite memory is him throwing eggs when my back was turned during a baking session and then throwing flour at me. He did lots of stuff that we laugh about now but I didn't find in the least bit funny at the time.

Hahahaha well aren't you just fun! I have a three year old and an 18 month old and they scream about ten times a day, they don't sleep and they sometimes fight. I am exhausted and your post has now made me feel shit. Congratulations on being perfect! I guess I'm just shit (even though I feed them properly, have routines and organise lots of fun messy play activities). It can't be that toddlers are just toddlers.

OP, I have a mum friend who boasts about how well behaved her DD is during lockdown. Turns out that's because she has non stop screen time, her own phone that she gets given to her on waking and chocolate after every meal. When my friend tried to stop these things, her DD threw a massive sh*t fit until she got them back. So, y'know. It's all about perspective!

My DS is 2.5 and is a handful. He drives me mad at times...but I'm not going to blame my parenting. DD by comparison, now 5, had her most 'challenging' time when she wouldn't sleep for two years. Otherwise she's mostly been fairly easy to parent. Different people, different temperaments.

I'm really not sure what your purpose was in starting this thread, but if you've made some parents who are already close to the brink today feel even worse, then have my very first

I agree to an extent with you OP.

I would say 50% parenting and 50% toddler.

A few things are because parents don't discipline enough or expect too much, but at the same time it is normal for children to explore boundaries.

I don't think the harsh comments on here are needed.

Also... Another thought (because this thread has been p*'"#;g me off all day). I have painted our living room/kids' bedrooms with scrubable paint and carpeted with antistain carpet. The existence of these items suggests that small children can and do draw on walls, smear things into carpets etc...

@2007Millie, this thread is clearly a response to my thread that I posted, about how I very occasionally had to put my 17 month old down in her cot and walk away for a minute or two to calm down, when she was REALLY testing my patience. OP responded to my thread saying how she had NEVER done that and maybe I wasn't entertaining DD enough. She then made this thread very soon afterwards.

Pretty goady if you ask me and totally uncalled for.

@Fluffybat please don't let this thread get you down. I've NEVER organised fun messy play activities because I don't like it. You are going above and beyond

*”maybemaybeII

I'd give a bottle and walk out. Maybe leave him with an iPad or something.“*

This was the previous advice OP gave to a mother who was struggling with her not even 18 month old getting up at 4am.

@SquidwardTortellini95

I have put both DS's (at various times) down in cots, playpens, their bedrooms. Sometimes so I could have a cry and not just during lockdown. I think you are very sensible and you can't parent responsively if you don't recognise your own mental health needs.

I have a 2 year old. So far today.... she has tipped toothpaste down the toilet, threw all her clothes out her draws down the stairs, changed her outfit 3 times, screamed to watch peppa pig, screamed when I turned it on and rubbed her breakfast into the carpet. She never eats or sleeps and she has so much energy she never stops. She is an extrovert and wants to be out all the time or with others. She’s bold, cheeky and sassy and I love it. she has the right to experience all stages of development inc the terrible twos and I believe this stage of her life will shape her identity. I don’t need her to be perfect

You must be such a good parent. I wish I had your super special parenting skills.