What would your reaction be to this conversation?

[mooching]

If you came down in the morning and you spouse said the following:

I've started coughing so I've had to register for a CV test. I'm afraid until I get the results we'll have to self isolate, me for 7 days and you and the kids for 14.

AIBU to ask if your reaction might have included asking how I am, rather than being irritated and saying 'what?' And me having to explain that that is the government's guidelines. He walked off and only about 10-15 minutes later did he ask if I was feeling ok. I pointed out I thought helps reaction was a pretty selfish one.

He says it's my fault for the way I presented it and I think he possibly has a point. I was also aware (and it seems from his reaction that I was right) that he wouldn't know what the self isolation guidelines were. Also, I am ok so perhaps I'm wallowing in self pity?

Oh, are people even still isolating? Given there are thousands in mass gatherings everyday.

My gardener was coughing his face off yesterday, it was gross. We won’t go out the back until it’s rained his germs away.

I thought this was going to be a reverse too.

I’d cut the spouse some slack and allow them to process the info without automatically claiming they weren’t immediately sympathetic.

‘what? Shall we wait and see how you are over the next day or so first?

@Haggisfish That's not the legal guidelines.

I agree with you OP, he can be annoyed at what you all have to do to follow the guidelines, but he could've expressed it better and asked how you were doing etc.

I don't know. You probably just wanted to present the facts and no doubt your husband was taken aback for a while. I hope I've got that the right way round :-). I'm glad you are feeling OK and sticking to the guidelines when so many are not (& hope you enjoy a bit of peace for a couple of weeks ;)).

If he gets the test and is negative no need to isolate, if he gets the test and is positive then yes, of course. Not sure what the problem is. If he just has a cough they might not test him, if that happens just ignore it.

op has not been back

My first reaction would be "Oh you have to be kidding me!" probably then followed by "but how are you actually feeling?" to gauge if was likely to be serious or not.
However DH came down with a fever the day before all the schools shut. Isolating for 14 days was easy then.

@OP Are you not worried about your spouse? It’s not great but CV is pretty serious and isolating for 14 days when you’ve already done it since March isn’t that big of a deal or am I missing something?

OP will never return.

2 hours, 25 minutes and counting.

OP Are you not worried about your spouse? It’s not great but CV is pretty serious and isolating for 14 days when you’ve already done it since March isn’t that big of a deal or am I missing something?

Yes, its the OP who has the cough.

I would have thought if you were coughing enough for it to be a testable symptom he should have noticed the coughing and already asked you how you are.
However I understand his reaction if you are not coughing enough for it to be noticeable; you did as PP said go from 0-100 and it is hard to be hit by something if you haven't been involved in the thinking around it. I had friends when I was younger who would do this - we would be out and about seemingly everything fine, and they would suddenly come out with "I am ill. I need to go back to the hotel right now." or "I am ill. I now need to leave this place and you can either come with me or stay all by yourself." While my first reaction should obviously have been "goodness that's awful I am so sorry are you OK?" I am afraid it was often "What?!" They had been through a whole thought process - I'm not feeling great, maybe it will pass , it isn't passing, if I still feel like this in a few minutes I'd better go home" - and presumably hadn't wanted to worry me by involving me in that - whereas I just got "we must stop doing this nice thing immediately".

YABU and his reaction sounds normal.

Sorry, busy working which is why I haven't returned.

I have a job that requires testing for any indicators (one being a cough) so my test booking is not being dramatic. I registered last night and tried to chat to him then but he wasn't listening.

For those that would need a coffee first he was holding a coffee - I had waited, said hello etc.

The test is good because if it comes back negative then we're off the hook for isolating.

I see I could have been more gentle in my approach, that's all I was asking.

My reaction would likely have been a pissed off 'wtf?'. Then rolling my eyes and a fair amount of muttering. Whether or not you felt okay would not have been my first thought, given that you announcing the cough was the first I'd heard of it.

In my household the conversation would have gone:

I've started to cough. I know it's a PITA but that does mean work will want me tested. We'll talk about it later but we all need to isolate now I'm afraid and if the results are positive I'll have to SI for 7 days in total and you for 14. Results in 48 hours so if I'm negative we can then stop SI.

Him: Oh. Bollocks. Well lets see what the results are. How are you feeling otherwise?

I wouldn't worry if he was blunter first thing in the morning and if I generally looked OK.

I'd be surprised we hadn't had a discussion about it before booking the test. Obviously if someone has symptoms they need the test but there seems to be a lack of communication.

I would have said Righto, rolled my eyes and carried on with my day.
The OP on the other hand would have been designated to the garden shed for a week.

I have someone staying with me through lockdown. On several occasions he's mentioned having a 'bit of a sore throat' or a 'bit of a cough'. And each time he's mentioned it, I'll admit to my first reaction not being 'how are you feeling?' It's been very much more a heart sink and a 'have you taken your temperature?' I'm pretty certain that my facial expression and tone of voice wasn't sympathetic.

But he was being hyper-conscious every time and nothing came of any of those fleeting symptoms

Being given no notice to isolate for 14 days is horrendous. I would be furious

Huh?

Do you expect someone to give you notice that they are going to have a cough or a fever?

That's really not how it works..

If you literally, out of the blue, first thing in the morning announced you had been coughing and were going to have to be tested and everyone would have to isolate, I'd also be "What the...?!"

Had you been coughing the day before? Through the night? Had you given any previous indication you may be unwell? Had you had any other symptoms or did you cough once and decide you had better get tested?

It's hard to judge if YWBU really as we don't know if you are prone to drama or not. If my DH said that, out of the blue, I'd be worried as he hasn't had a sick day in over 20 years of working, so I'd be "What...?!!" but in a very different, very concerned way!

OP, I hope your test comes back negative. I know 3 people who have all tested positive within the last week, with very minor symptoms, and to be fair, none of them are extremely unwell now, just fatigued with aching joints. I'm hoping the severe strain of Covid has passed. Maybe I'm being ridiculously optimistic. I live in Wales and we are still pretty much in full lockdown though.

OP, was your cough even persistent enough for your DH to have noticed? How much coughing have you actually done? It sounds like it’s come out of the blue to him. So not persistent. Unless you live in a huge house, of course!

How long was he upstairs for in order than your cough had started and you'd booked a test in that time? Surely if you share the same bed he'd have known you were coughing last night? Or have you just coughed once or twice?

I'd have laughed & told him to far cough.

This entire thread is why contact tracing and test n trace will not work.

The OP has described exactly what the government and public health England are asking us to do.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/symptoms/

If you have 1 of the 3 symptoms, you stay home for 7 days, anyone in your household stays home for 14 days and you get a test.

The advice is NOT

If you have symptoms, wait a few days while carrying out you normal activities to see if they get worse, decide whether you think your case is a) likely to actually be CV, (b) a bad enough case to warrant doing anything about it.