What would your reaction be to this conversation?

[mooching]

If you came down in the morning and you spouse said the following:

I've started coughing so I've had to register for a CV test. I'm afraid until I get the results we'll have to self isolate, me for 7 days and you and the kids for 14.

AIBU to ask if your reaction might have included asking how I am, rather than being irritated and saying 'what?' And me having to explain that that is the government's guidelines. He walked off and only about 10-15 minutes later did he ask if I was feeling ok. I pointed out I thought helps reaction was a pretty selfish one.

He says it's my fault for the way I presented it and I think he possibly has a point. I was also aware (and it seems from his reaction that I was right) that he wouldn't know what the self isolation guidelines were. Also, I am ok so perhaps I'm wallowing in self pity?

Really over dramatic OP tbh. I would have done exactly the same as your partner

I wouldn't be that happy with you either, sorry op

I think this by itself sounds like a complete non issue.

I also don’t think he will need to self isolate for 14 days until your test result is positive. It will just be for as long as it takes to get the result back.

I'm another one here that thinks you are over dramatic and dictatorial but this does sound a little bit like a reverse. How did you manage to organise all that while he was downstairs surely would have heard you coughing come up and said are you OK, Phoning the doctors and organising covid tests is something that should have been talked about not launched into. I'd think you were a grandstanding fool tbh.

Sounds overly dramatic. A child at my DC's school had a fever. Registered for a test Sunday morning and had a negative result by Monday afternoon. That's in London so not sure how quick results come rest of the UK, but jumping to 14 days isolation is a bit

OP will never return.

Yeah they would have got a "what" from me. I'm not a morning person

I'd have probably reacted exactly like your husband tbh.

Since this whole thing started I've become hyper aware that I wake up a lot of mornings with a bit of a cough or a dry throat or some aches and pains, which normally go after I've had a cup of tea and a shower.

You don't mention any other symptoms, you don't say you've been up all night coughing, so I'd be telling you that I'll be going about my usual day and will see how you feel tonight before I decide whether to isolate.

I would say, “What?” too.

I would have reacted like your husband too.

And it's a bit of an info overload

Possibly not the first time a dramatic announcement has been made in this manner by the reaction? I'd be pretty surprised myself if my DH had started the day off like that!

We need more context. Are You actually likely to have covid? Do you look unwell?

An ICU registrar working on the covid ward who is visibly unwell is going to get a very different reaction to someone who has barely left the house in weeks and looks perfectly healthy.

Re: reverse, I wouldn't be shocked if it turned out OP was actually a man who's just locked his wife and kids in for 2 weeks. There was a surprising level of self focus is that OP.

If so, perhaps he wants The Hive of women to back him so he can then show it to the wife and prove that all the women think she's wrong, unpleasant, irresponsible and horrid (and she shame facedly then does as he says).

Wouldn't be the first time, the second time or the thousandth time.

I've started coughing so I've had to register for a CV test. I'm afraid until I get the results we'll have to self isolate, me for 7 days and you and the kids for 14.

That sounds like a work email, not a conversation with your spouse. I wouldn't be very impressed to be honest. Is this a brand new cough? A conversation should have taken place before booking a test.

I need a while to wake up in the morning and that was a lot of information all at once, so I suspect my reaction would also have been "what" while I processed the information you'd given me. (and I do know what the self isolation rules are)

I agree it should have been presented better.

But it also sounds like a non-issue ...

I would want coffee and would see you as an overreacting pain in the arse who'd just confined me to the house for two weeks.

All of this.

Presented the way you've written- my first response would be what? To have a barrage of info doing at me telling me what I need to do, is probably respond the same way. If your said I'm sick and have been coughing all night, and given a chance to ask then, as opposed to a pile of instructions, they probably didn't think you felt that I well given the organisation your already put into the situation.

I'm a bit surprised by the posts here. It sounds like the OP was a bit out of the blue, but if you have one of the key symptoms of Coronavirus then you get a test. It's the responsible thing to do at the moment, even if your personal judgement is that Covid is unlikely. And the current advice is for those living with someone being tested get tested too unless they are young children, so yes the whole family should be in isolation right now until they get the results.

It's frustrating, but that's life right now. It's pretty common in bubble classes at the moment - a child develops a bit of a cough, and everyone needs to go home until the results come back (which may be 24hrs in London, but I'm on day 5 here from requesting the test and still awaiting results).

I can understand his frustration, but if course he should be checking how you are feeling, and of course he should be self isolating at the moment.

It's tempting to say that we don't have to follow the rules after cumgate, but all that is going to achieve is more infections and death, so I do think we all have a duty to get tested and follow the self isolation rules if you have a temperature, new cough or loss of smell.

AIBU to ask if your reaction might have included asking how I am

No of course not, because your wanky statement about self isolating and booking tests etc. made it completely clear that you were fine. If I heard my spouse hacking away with a cough and they told me they had a fever, or just looked sick, then I'd ask how they were. Being told "I'm fine but I'm going to get a test" especially knowing that the actual chance of my spouse dying from covid is lower than the chance of them being dying with other things.

It's also extremely wanky to start parroting government advice to an adult like their a small child who hasn't seen any of it for last 4 months...

Most people would say "aargh. I've woken up with a cough. At what point do you reckon I should get tested? And does that mean you shouldn't go into work today? What do you reckon?"

You went from 0-100 in two sentences there, first thing in the morning. No wonder he reacted as he did.

YABU If you actually did this.
It wasn’t a conversation it was a statement out of the blue.
What would be my reaction be? er what?
Are you wallowing? Yes
Was it a selfish response from DH? No
Will you be back? .. probably not

You sound like HARD WORK

Agree with all PPs about the wanky statement, made me cringe.

Why would a sufferer then have to SI for only 7 days yet their family has to do it for 14? That makes no sense to me. I've probably missed something, OP, but you'd be out in the shed to self-isolate there and the rest of us would leave food at the shed door for you and manage without you... for the duration.

Both mine and dh reaction to each other would be "fuck, have we got enough food in?"

Yabu.