He told me he was infertile

[hetoldmewhat]

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. 6 weeks ago we got tested and stopped using condoms when the all clear came

The reason I felt comfortable doing this is he and his ex had to have fertility treatment in the past, as he was '99.9% infertile'.

Today after talking more it turns out he meant he was' 99.9% the infertile one'. He was told that 50% of his sperm get lost, and so he was 99.9% sure it was 'all his fault'.

What the actual fuck. He said sorry for the misunderstanding, but we've essentially been having unprotected sex for 6 weeks and he - knowing all the facts - didn't question my being ok with this?!

Aibu to think he should have been a lot clearer?!

Never ever believe anyone who tells you they are infertile. Never.

And he's an idiot.

Run like fuck.

He couldn't have a baby with his ex, looks like he's decided to start trying with you.

Wow. I’m sorry, but I think he meant to mislead you. It looks like he wants a baby and was sneakily trying his luck. I’m not sure I could continue with someone like that. It’s not something you can “misunderstand” even though I’m sure he’s telling you that you did.

he should have been clearer but now you know, what do you what him to say / do ?

You are responsible for your own sexual health and fertility.

I know two women with child each by men who said they were infertile.

Why did you accept that at face value?

I think you're being unreasonable to not take responsibility for using birth control if you don't want to become pregnant. it's amazing how many "infertile" people bring a child into the world. He even said 99.9%, that is not 100%. However, yes, he's an untrustworthy idiot.

You have to be responsible for your own birth control, OP, for exactly this reason. Should he have been clearer or should you have asked exactly what he meant by 99.9%, which still isn’t 100%.

Unless you were willing to have a baby with this man, why on earth would you not take precautions? Neither of you have any idea if he is infertile and you just take his word for it?

Own your own fertility.

You are responsible for your own sexual health and fertility.

This

99.9 infertile or not. Use protection.
50% of his sperm 'get lost' but 50% don't -just a few million to fertilise your one egg.

Dump and run.

I'd never stop contraception, even if a 5mth partner said they were infertile, unless you are TTC. It was good you both got checked though.

Did he even ask what contraception you were now on? If not, he isn't being responsible either!

Run away, very far, very fast. He knew what he was doing.

Unbelievably stupid of you to assume he was telling the truth. Never do that again.
Yes he's a total dick but you were so foolish it's painful.

Ask him to have a series of semen analyses - three clear ones usually establishes infertility - or use a condom. What a *&#@+!

WTH?

Yabu to trust this claim at face value

He is BU to intentionally mislead you

You are both unreasonable to stop using protection unless you are TTC and especially 5 months into a relationship

I would get rid of him. Withholding that information when he knows there is a chance you could get pregnant is controlling behaviour.

I would never have unprotected sex with someone who tells me they're infertile. Unless they literally have no balls, there's always a chance.

You hardly know him and have unprotected sex based on his assurances. You are crazy.

You need to take responsibility for birth control too. He was unclear though.

Definitely be responsible for your own sexual health and protection.

I find this very suspicious.

Unbelievably stupid of you to assume he was telling the truth. Never do that again.
Yes he's a total dick but you were so foolish it's painful.

Ever? If your husband told you, or best friend would you doubt them?

I absolutely do believe in taking responsibility for my birth control - I've always been on the pill and used condoms. But I had condoms and had to come off the pill last year due to migraines. And I didn't think I had to take responsibility anymore as there was no fertility, if that makes sense?

He said he thought I knew he's not untrustworthy in the slightest, but he is embarrassed about the issue, and the fact they had to have IVF, so I think just didn't want to talk about it more an assumed I knew and was happy.

My ex told me he was infertile. He has 5 children now.

I think you were naive, you went to the trouble of getting tested but not ask him more details on his infertility? The only proof of infertility is a vasectomy and then only if it was done less than 10 years ago. Even if he is 99.9% infertile he could still get you pregnant with the 0.01% - say he produces 50 million sperm each time (which is around the average) that's still 500,000 sperm capable of fertilising your egg each month??? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

This is probably abuse. Abusive men try and trap you by getting you pregnant and then they behave as if they own you. Get out now.