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Original poster

He told me he was infertile

126 replies

hetoldmewhat · 11/06/2020 20:49

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. 6 weeks ago we got tested and stopped using condoms when the all clear came

The reason I felt comfortable doing this is he and his ex had to have fertility treatment in the past, as he was '99.9% infertile'.

Today after talking more it turns out he meant he was' 99.9% the infertile one'. He was told that 50% of his sperm get lost, and so he was 99.9% sure it was 'all his fault'.

What the actual fuck. He said sorry for the misunderstanding, but we've essentially been having unprotected sex for 6 weeks and he - knowing all the facts - didn't question my being ok with this?!

Aibu to think he should have been a lot clearer?!

OP posts:
Didactylos · 11/06/2020 21:17

Lots of red flags here
Firstly he has lied to you and misled you in a way that could seriously alter your life and health early in a relationship in a way that is both devious and controlling
and secondly he is absolutely stupid, has poor mathematical ability and has not even bothered to make up a decent lie

Please get rid and make sure you have sorted your own contraception out when you (and you will easily) find a someone better

Nihiloxica · 11/06/2020 21:18

When men are this careless of their sperm I think they are idiots.

But you would actually be the pregnant one?

What on earth were you thinking?

Your fertility is your responsibility. A boyfriend of 5 months's possible infertility is not a reason to take such a risk.

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 11/06/2020 21:19

And my ex told me he didn't have any STI and didn't need a check as 'he got it done once a year in the military' -great I said, show me the paperwork. NEVER EVER trust anyone when it comes to someone ejactulating inside you, you need to KNOW. How many women have STIs? Pregnancy or both because a man said they were infertile, would pull out or whatever................grow up. 5 months. You don't know him.

ivfgottostaypositive · 11/06/2020 21:19

@rabblemum

What a ridiculous comment

sonjadog · 11/06/2020 21:21

Whether or not he thought you knew, he certainly knew himself that only 50% of his sperm "get lost". Which means he has been having unprotected sex with you for six weeks knowing that you could well get pregnant. Have you discussed having a baby with him? Is this something you have agreed on wanting to do together? Because if not, then he has been trying to get you pregnant without discussing it with you, and you should think over why he might want to do that...

vanillandhoney · 11/06/2020 21:21

I do think you need to take some responsibility here. You've only known him for five months.

AdaColeman · 11/06/2020 21:22

It’s one of the oldest lines in the book, is that.
Dump him, and be more careful and aware next time.

AfterSchoolWorry · 11/06/2020 21:24

Ever? If your husband told you, or best friend would you doubt them?

But he's not your husband or best friend, you've only been seeing him 5 months!

Fatted · 11/06/2020 21:24

He will be allergic to latex next. Hmm

vanillandhoney · 11/06/2020 21:25

Ever? If your husband told you, or best friend would you doubt them?

But he's neither of those things. He's a bloke you've known for five months. Ultimately, you can get pregnant, he can't. If you don't want children, use birth control.

Rabblemum · 11/06/2020 21:25

Sorting similar happened to me. A good man would never tell such a big lie with massive consequences.

FizzyGreenWater · 11/06/2020 21:27

he's not untrustworthy in the slightest

Oh boy oh boy oh BOY yesssssss he is!

Ever? If your husband told you, or best friend would you doubt them?

WTF.

5 months. That's all. That's all you've known him.

He is not a husband or a best friend, he is a bloke you HARDLY KNOW. Who is very very likely to be feeding you any shit he can so that he can have sex without a condom (as you are no longer happy on the pill) OR, worse, is trying to get you pregnant.

But it's probably because you're not on the pill.

He absolutely knew what he was doing.

I would dump without hesitation for this and you are a fool if you don't, after only 5 months.

SharpieInThe · 11/06/2020 21:27

"he's not untrustworthy in the slightest"

Lol.

GeorgiaWeLoveYou · 11/06/2020 21:27

Get rid OP.

To lie about something as major as this is unforgiveable.

ShadowMane · 11/06/2020 21:32

@hetoldmewhat

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. 6 weeks ago we got tested and stopped using condoms when the all clear came

The reason I felt comfortable doing this is he and his ex had to have fertility treatment in the past, as he was '99.9% infertile'.

Today after talking more it turns out he meant he was' 99.9% the infertile one'. He was told that 50% of his sperm get lost, and so he was 99.9% sure it was 'all his fault'.

What the actual fuck. He said sorry for the misunderstanding, but we've essentially been having unprotected sex for 6 weeks and he - knowing all the facts - didn't question my being ok with this?!

Aibu to think he should have been a lot clearer?!

so after 5 months you have TTC? no matter what he says, if you are having sex without protection, then thats what you're doing
CodenameVillanelle · 11/06/2020 21:32

Ever? If your husband told you, or best friend would you doubt them?

If my husband told me I'd still need to have medical confirmation before ditching contraception. I'd also have known him for a lot longer than 5 months Hmm
Also yanno my best friend isn't at risk of impregnating me so I'd have no reason to question if she told me that. Again, known her a lot longer than 5 months.

lockdownstress · 11/06/2020 21:33

I'm sorry OP, if you're old enough to have sex you're old enough not to believe rubbish like that.

Namechange30000000 · 11/06/2020 21:35

I went out with someone who said he’d had the snip when hadn’t. Dump him.

ConcreteUnderpants · 11/06/2020 21:39

he's not untrustworthy in the slightest

Apart from this, eh?!

Fluffycloudland77 · 11/06/2020 21:41

You can still have the progesterone only pill or implant. I get migraines on the combined pill.

EnidsCrochetCorner · 11/06/2020 21:42

Christ I was under a gynae for 2 years for endometriosis, gynae performed surgery on me, explained everything he found and told me flat out I would categorically need IVF to get pregnant. Told me when I start trying to let them know so they could start IVF route a year later.

We still used contraception until we were ready. I got pregnant naturally within 2 weeks of stopping contraception.

For you this is a massive red flag. You could have become pregnant.

saleorbouy · 11/06/2020 21:42

ivfgottostaypositive
A vasectomy is a definite way to be infertile. Once the op has been done and the vasa deferentia are cut it is a permanent method sterilisation and contraception after the having conclusive tests for no sperm have been conducted post op.

Fluffycloudland77 · 11/06/2020 21:44

Actually I knew a girl who told her a man who later married a friend of mine she couldn’t have kids.

He was very surprised to learn she had two kids. Also slightly worried....

Original poster
hetoldmewhat · 11/06/2020 21:44

*WTF.

5 months. That's all. That's all you've known him.*

I've known him 6 years.

OP posts:
category12 · 11/06/2020 21:45

So are you ready for a baby?

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