He told me he was infertile

[hetoldmewhat]

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. 6 weeks ago we got tested and stopped using condoms when the all clear came

The reason I felt comfortable doing this is he and his ex had to have fertility treatment in the past, as he was '99.9% infertile'.

Today after talking more it turns out he meant he was' 99.9% the infertile one'. He was told that 50% of his sperm get lost, and so he was 99.9% sure it was 'all his fault'.

What the actual fuck. He said sorry for the misunderstanding, but we've essentially been having unprotected sex for 6 weeks and he - knowing all the facts - didn't question my being ok with this?!

Aibu to think he should have been a lot clearer?!

I think most sperm gets lost anyway though, doesn’t it?. Most of them don’t make it through the cervix, half will head towards the wrong Fallopian tube, some die swimming up there.

They only need one strong swimmer who picked the right tube and your lumbered with them for life.

My exh sister ended up pregnant to a man who couldn't have kids.

Turns out the actual story was that he was ttc with his ex, for 4 years. They split up and she got pregnant by someone else within a year. So he assumed the issue was with him.

Low and behold, sil was 4 months pregnant on their wedding day.

Op, I would believe my husband or best friend. I wouldnt put myself in the position, of carrying the consequences of their actions though.

I wouldn't have unprotected sex with my dp, unless we were trying for a baby or i had seen some medical records.

2 different drs told me that I was infertile due to a previous drs incompetence.
6 years later I had DS
I've since had my tubes tied and still don't trust it.
Take the morning after pill

Someone told me this Once. I didn’t believe it. Even if I had believed it, I absolutely wouldn’t have trusted it. Not for a million years when I would have been the one left with a potentially unwanted pregnancy.

The question is how do you feel about it all OP? Are you going to continue seeing him?

And how did you manage to get STD tested 6 weeks ago? Everything by me was shut down.

I tend to get lost 50% of the time, but I always end up getting to where I want to be, just takes a bit longer.

Run, run like the wind, I have a three year old courtesy of my "Infertile" ex.

He said he had a low count and the ones that were there had no tails or crooked tails which meant they couldn't go anywhere.

I was pregnant immediately, after thinking that since i was over 30 i wouldn't bother with children.

I think you're getting a hard time. I think by getting tested and having a conversation with him, you have taken responsibility. You also took a calculated risk to trust someone who has turned out to be either untrustworthy or unfortunately misleading. I don't think you deserve a hard time, but equally I do think it shows he didn't take his responsibilities seriously and you'd be sensible to question if that's someone you want to be with.

But there is still a risk of pregnancy, very low if it was 99.9 percent infertile but there is a chance

Do you want to have a baby with him right now? He has clearly decided that is ok with him (which is a huge red flag after just 5mths of dating). He has also been dishonest with you in order to achieve this by stealth (another huge red flag). Personally I wouldn’t even consider getting pregnant to a man under those circumstances, as 5 months is not long enough to know what kind of a partner or father he would be, and you have 2 very big red flags regarding honesty & integrity as testimony to that.

Wow, he had sex with you for months, knowing that he could easily get you pregnant, and knowing that you believed he couldn't?!

I would not be able to get past that. He has deceived you about something which could have wrecked your life.

He's lied to you recklessly when you could fall pregnant. Have you broken up? I wouldn't have sex with him again if I were you

He was told that 50% of his sperm get lost, and so he was 99.9% sure it was 'all his fault'
It would not have been told that. What discussion did you have really?

If he had a sperm test, they would have tested the volume, the movement and the shape of the sperm.

It sounds like he might have 50% motility BUT he might also have low count and poor formation. It's the full picture that really tell the chance of fertility.

The fact he didn't say he was 100% infertile but 99.5%, which might indeed still the case, yet you decided to have an unprotected sex knowing there was Avery low chance so why are you upset with him. What if he really was 99.9 percent infertile but you still got pregnant, who would you blame then?

Have you taken a test? How long have you been having unprotected as

Could you be pregnant op?

"He said he thought I knew he's not untrustworthy in the slightest, but he is embarrassed about the issue, and the fact they had to have IVF, so I think just didn't want to talk about it more an assumed I knew and was happy."

I have to take issue with "he's not untrustworthy". He is. He really is. He really, really is. He manoeuvred you deliberately into having unprotected sex. Why?

• He doesn't like using condoms
• He wanted you tied to him through a joint child
• He wanted to to his ex the infertility was All. Her. Fault.

Those are the obvious reasons that occur to me, I'm sure there are more. From as selfish as not liking condoms (It reduces my sensation! Wah!) to as sinister as using you as a prop to get at his ex.

Actually, why he did it is not the problem. The problem is that he did it at all. You could have ended up pregnant, faced with either terminating or continuing a pregnancy you hadn't sought and changing your entire life-plan.

This man is not to be trusted. Run. Run as fast and as far from him as you can.

I forsee a pregnancy....multiple babies 🤣

So he thought you’d be ok to accidentally get pregnant

I literally have a child with an "infertile" man. Oh, and: she has a younger half-sibling, too. I have only one. You figure the rest of that situation out ...

Dh worked with a man who said his gf tried to trap him by having his child.

If you met him you’d know why either that wasn’t true or she had major self esteem issues she’s sorted since then because wannabe stoner waiting for his parents to die so he can inherit.

Come on! You've got to know that's where this is heading?
Op is just laying the groundwork

If I were laying groundwork my period would be due tomorrow! But I've already said I've not even ovulated yet thankfully (I don't think).

So have you done anything to find out whether you could be pregnant or avert the sex you had recently resulting in a pregnancy?

Sounds a bit like the knobheads I used to meet when I was a young woman, who in the hope of having unprotected sex would claim that they were infertile so didn't need to use a condom; 'yes, of course you are love'.

Odd how it was always young men who'd never been in a serious relationship in their lives.

I don't know if I'm particularly cynical but I would have to know someone a hell of a lot longer than 5 months to trust them enough to accept their word about something like that.

My DBro has a practically zero sperm count (apparently there was one sperm but it was just going in circles).

He has 4 kids.