Horse rider and her 'request'

[Harmonyrays]

I need to know if im being unreasonable here in thinking that this lady was being deliberately awkward or something if its else. For contex, we are non white, they were white.

So My children (2 + 6) and I were having a great time exploring the woods when a horse box pulled in and two women unloaded their horses. Kids were naturally excited by this and wanted to get closer to see. I made sure we were a good distance away, at least 10 metres and we were up on the slope. The kids were watching the horses being unloaded for a few minutes. My son had a stick in his hands as he was ramble around and likes to do this. I made sure they were quite. The horses were quickly taken around the other side of the box to saddle up.

After a few minutes we decided to head down to the path and walk around the other side so they could see the horses more cleary and continue our walk. Again they were quite. We found a little bridge that was going the opposite way to where the horses were and my son wanted to explore that so we headed that way. We dissapeared from the womens view for around 5 mins and then i went back to bridge to wait for my son. At this point one of the women, in her 60's, walked over and said 'we are about to take the horses up here (a path that was no where near me and my chldren) can you just move on somewhere else. I said to her im sorry but we are here well away from you and your horses. She then said 'well cant you just move on because the sticks are scaring the horses'. Bear in mind there were no sticks in view at this point at all. As this was the second time she had said 'just move on' with a dismissive hand wave i was getting annoyed and said well were not doing anything to you or the horses. She then said 'well what ARE you doing here'. I said to her 'i dont need to tell you what im doing here, we are in the woods and free to go where we please'. She then looked like she was getting exasperated and huffed saying 'yes i know that but im asking you nicely if you can just move on until we move the horses up the road'.

Given that we were over a bridge and a good 20 metres away from the horses i think it had nothing to do with sticks. I feel she had an entitled attitude and like there was something else bothering her.

The irony is we have been around horses for many years so are aware of how to behave which is exactly why we kept our distance.

If i were alone this wouldnt have bothered me but my son heard and was then saying oh lets just go mum. I feel like she made him feel he shouldnt be there and that upset me.

So i need to know your thoughts, yes i am being unreasonable the lady was right in asking us to move on. No im not being unreasonable and she was out of line telling us to move on.

Thank you

Sorry you went through that OP. She sounds horrible. Well done for sticking up for yourself

I have been shouted at by a horse rider for how I was standing to the side with my dog on a shared use path. She told me where to move to so I did. I know how hard it is to deal with 30kg of freaking out animal so
I cut her some slack about how she asked.

She did talk to me like I was a naughty pony.

Does sound a bit odd however I've had to make what probably sounds like odd requests when riding
Kids kicking a ball against a wall - horse could hear them but not see them and was terrified, but I just said can you give me 2 seconds to get past, the horse thinks you're a scary monster, come meet her! They came out and had a fuss with her and all fine
On the other hand I've had to squeeze past a tractor trimming a hedge (I'm talking inches) who refused to stop moving the tractor or cutting the hedge. That was... interesting

Of all the opinions posted here, there are only two I agree with:

there's no reason to mention race or ethnicity... you behave sensibly around horses because they are a lot bigger than you and can hurt you big time.

Horses are twitchy critters, and often highly reactive to sights they don't understand but that even a small child can process.

You should never presume a horse is well-schooled or manageable. I stopped the car once to put a loose horse into the nearest field , because it was on the road. My mum was in the car, and my GFather was a horsedealer, and she told me off for taking a stupid risk. I took the chance that it would be got back home but it was better than an anxious horse roaming in traffic.

[quote Thelittleweasel]@Harmonyrays

What's the thing they carry to hit the horses called then?[/quote]

Why are you asking the OP this? Are you trying to catch her out in a lie?

Ive read every comment and appreciate the time taken to reply but obviously cant repsond to each and everyone so just a few points.

Reading through i can see how it may have appeared to them like we were 'circling'. Couple that with having a nervous horse i can see why she may have been abrupt. I was aware of the issue of 'following' them and tried to encourage my son to walk the other way but he really wanted to see them, from a distance. Hes riden horses during summer schools so hes aware and very respectful around them but can never get enough of seeing them.

To those asking why i mentioned age and race, well i thought carefully about it but felt it relevant. Especially in the current climate and the words used with the hand gestures.

Thank you to all the riders for sharing your experiences

being a nuisance getting in the way of her horses, when she had thought you'd already left.

How could OP be getting in the way when she was 20 metres away? She has every right to be there as much as the rude horse lady does.

I don’t think she was being rude.

She only asked “ what ARE you doing here” in reply to the “we’re not doing anything to you or your horses” when she asked you to move because of the sticks.
Which you had just refused to do.
As she said she was asking nicely and only until the horses had moved up the road.
Why make moving out of sight of the horses for 2 minutes all about you?

@Megan2018

She was rude but you sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder. I don’t particularly like being watched when loading and unloading as my horse is a massive tit and isn’t great around kids with sticks either. I would be more polite, but you could’ve just got in with your walk.

So does that mean if you arrive in a public place with your horse and there are people already there, they should leave?

Woman pulls up with her horse where children are playing and is affronted that children are playing where she pulls up with her horse

She should have parked somewhere else.

YANBU it seems she was being entitled and should school her horse more if its nervous. Yes I've been around horses most off my life and use to work for a lady who dealt with problem horses. Very good transformations and i started to help her in the end.

If she knew her horse was flighty she should have left him in the box until you’d moved on.

@RootBeerFloat43

All the people asking why race was mentioned, and gasp is the OP implying that the lady is a...racist!? Because of course that's a much worse crime than actually being a racist.

Look, it's possible that the lady would have been just as rude if the OP was white. But, I have also experienced that dismissive attitude, the coldness, the outright rudeness and wondered if it was because I'm not white. I can never forget the colour of my skin in interactions in the UK. Again, I don't think everyone who is not as nice to me as they could be is a racist, but yes, sometimes they are. A white person in a white majority country has the privilige (yes I used the P word) of not thinking about race. I don't, and clearly the OP doesn't either.

Please just take the time to consider what I've said, and not just become defensive.

This! 👌

It's a bit strange how so many people post on MN saying their elderly relatives are racist but they don't hold it against them because they're from a different time and yet OP saying the lady was in her 60s has caused a furore on this thread.

You say the age was relevant, in the current climate???Did I miss something in the news today, is there a psycho 60 year old rampaging round the U.K. attacking children Now you’ve lost all credibility.

She obviously got your back up so she probably came across as rude but perhaps she was starting to stress about the horses potentially playing up. She may have been worried that your children could suddenly reappear brandishing the sticks again, which wouldn’t be great. It’s one thing to be familiar with a riding school environment and quite another to be around sport horses.
She shouldn’t have been rude about it though.

Horse riders are so entitled. It's a public woodland - you could have waved sticks at them all day if you wanted. Don't give it a second thought.

[quote AIMD]@RootBeerFloat43 I’m glad you responded to those comments. You’d think with everything in the news people might have greater awareness of these issues.[/quote]
Race politics and safety around horses have little to do with one another. People who live in rural environments and who ride horses for work or pleasure define the distinctions between people who view the countryside as a leisure facility for their enjoyment, and those who regard it as a working asset, in which they rear the livestock that you might eat.

There have been a lot of reports about people behaving inconsiderately and dangerously near horses during lockdown. Some horses have died because they have been given food that is not suitable and other times gates have been left open and horses have strayed onto the road and been killed.You say that you have been around horses and know how to behave but how was the rider to know you had that experience.? She may have had experiences with individuals who do not know how to behave around animals, horses especially

don't be ridiculous. That was clearly not the situation at all. The woman was being a bitch.

I'm not sure what her age has to do with it.Care to elaborate, OP?

How does it affect you , why ask this

Why did you mention your skin colour? Are you expecting us to say they were racists?

Really? Of course it's relevant Stfu.

The woman was incredibly unpleasant at best OP . There are also some very unpleasant people on here judging by the comments.

Why do you have to bring colour into it

For the first bit of the exchange you describe, she sounds rude, but perhaps she was worried about her horse being spooked, etc., so understandable, but went about it the wrong way. You weren't blocking her way or close to the horse.

But when you got to the bit where she said move on, and especially, What are you doing here? That was out of order, and yes I think the fact that you're non-white might well be relevant.

Horse riders are so entitled. It's a public woodland - you could have waved sticks at them all day if you wanted. Don't give it a second thought

I wouldn't give it a second thought either unless I wanted a hoof with 800kg of horse behind it going through my chest. What a fucking stupid thing to write.

@CharmerLlama exactly what I thought too. It's getting tired now.

She was snotty and entitled.

I used to work with horses and ride them.

If I saw someone with children taking an interest I would have smiled and said hello and if the horse was calm and confident, asked if the kids would like to stroke them.

And who knows - there is always that potential for race to have been a factor when someone is being snotty for no other apparent reason. Sorry -bit of whitesplaining there for the racial-factor deniers on the thread.