Horse rider and her 'request'

[Harmonyrays]

I need to know if im being unreasonable here in thinking that this lady was being deliberately awkward or something if its else. For contex, we are non white, they were white.

So My children (2 + 6) and I were having a great time exploring the woods when a horse box pulled in and two women unloaded their horses. Kids were naturally excited by this and wanted to get closer to see. I made sure we were a good distance away, at least 10 metres and we were up on the slope. The kids were watching the horses being unloaded for a few minutes. My son had a stick in his hands as he was ramble around and likes to do this. I made sure they were quite. The horses were quickly taken around the other side of the box to saddle up.

After a few minutes we decided to head down to the path and walk around the other side so they could see the horses more cleary and continue our walk. Again they were quite. We found a little bridge that was going the opposite way to where the horses were and my son wanted to explore that so we headed that way. We dissapeared from the womens view for around 5 mins and then i went back to bridge to wait for my son. At this point one of the women, in her 60's, walked over and said 'we are about to take the horses up here (a path that was no where near me and my chldren) can you just move on somewhere else. I said to her im sorry but we are here well away from you and your horses. She then said 'well cant you just move on because the sticks are scaring the horses'. Bear in mind there were no sticks in view at this point at all. As this was the second time she had said 'just move on' with a dismissive hand wave i was getting annoyed and said well were not doing anything to you or the horses. She then said 'well what ARE you doing here'. I said to her 'i dont need to tell you what im doing here, we are in the woods and free to go where we please'. She then looked like she was getting exasperated and huffed saying 'yes i know that but im asking you nicely if you can just move on until we move the horses up the road'.

Given that we were over a bridge and a good 20 metres away from the horses i think it had nothing to do with sticks. I feel she had an entitled attitude and like there was something else bothering her.

The irony is we have been around horses for many years so are aware of how to behave which is exactly why we kept our distance.

If i were alone this wouldnt have bothered me but my son heard and was then saying oh lets just go mum. I feel like she made him feel he shouldnt be there and that upset me.

So i need to know your thoughts, yes i am being unreasonable the lady was right in asking us to move on. No im not being unreasonable and she was out of line telling us to move on.

Thank you

[BrightYellowDaffodil]

I’m a rider and the woman was rude. Yes, we’ve all had times where we’re either on a horse that’s scared of something and may react badly (they only improve with experience so taking them out and about in a controlled way is the best way of dealing with it) or because we are concerned the other people won’t understand that their behaviour could cause a problem - loose dogs, shouting children etc.

There are ways and means of dealing with it, and it’s always a polite request together with an explanation so people don’t think you’re being a ‘snooty rider’. The woman you met might have had good reason to ask what she did but she went about it the wrong way.

[HeckyPeck]

i’ve known a horse to pick a 6’4 man up by his arm and chuck him across the yard because he was wearing a hat and didn’t listen to the owner not go near him

🤣 I bet he didn’t do that again!

[ConstanceSalinger]

Honestly, can you not even see a little why she might have sounded rude? If she's got an anxious horse, she'd already spotted your son's stick before she opened the door, then you stood around watching them - can you imagine trying to get your kids to perform and behave and suddenly strangers, holding a stick, start using you like a spectator sport?

She sounds like she was a bit on edge and anxious about her horse being spooked.

You say you've been around horses before, were each exactly the same, the same temperament, had lovely polite owners?

I don't think either of you were BU, she probably walked off wondering what your problem was...

[Twistedinknots]

There is no excuse for her to be rude.

However it sounds like one of the horses must have been abused in the past and is now terrified of sticks.

Hatscats above has some great advice.

I do hate some peoples attitudes to horse riders, we are not all loaded and stuck-up (almost none of us are)

I think sitting several feet higher than pedestrians maybe propagates this myth!

[Littlemeadow123]

She could have been politer, but she could have had good reason for wanting you to move. Maybe the horses were skittish? In which case she was probably asking you to move for your own safety.

Maybe she was worried that the kids would start waving sticks around again and spook them? Even catching movement out of the corner of their eye can cause a horse to panic. And if a horse broke free and bolted then you or your children could have been injured.

[MayFayner]

Of course she was fucking rude. Horse or no horse, no one has the right to tell anyone else to “move on” in a public place.

She should have either waited or asked nicely.

[Alex50]

@HeckyPeck 😊 no he didn’t, the horse was a bit nuts, he would proper attack anyone that went near him in a hat, you couldn’t go in his field with one on, I’ve never seen a horse behave so aggressively.

[matchboxtwentyunwell]

She was an absolute bitch, asking you what you were doing there in that manner.

FFS. I'm glad you ignored the cow.

[BaileyBailu]

How is your or her skin colour relevant? Are you implying she was racist?

[ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal]

Failing to see why your skin colour and her age are relevant at all. Are you trying to suggest she was trying to say you shouldn't be there because you're black? She knows her horse better than you do. If she thinks your son waving a stick around is likely to scare her horse there's no reason in the world why she shouldn't prepare for that and ask you to move your children away while they pass. Children are unpredictable, so are horses, it sounds like a reasonable precaution to take.

[FluffMagnet]

It reads to me that they felt you were circling them and were getting worried about you potentially following them on their ride, perhaps popping up out of a hedge or something and scaring the bejesus out of the horses. I say that because you followed the horses from one side of the lorry to the other, then disappeared, then returned again to watch some more. If the owner had clocked the sticks, the horses will certainly have and will likely already have been a bit fresh out the lorry. I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude, but I find older horse people tend to speak to people a bit like they do their horses!

[Megan2018]

She was rude but you sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder.
I don’t particularly like being watched when loading and unloading as my horse is a massive tit and isn’t great around kids with sticks either.
I would be more polite, but you could’ve just got in with your walk.

[FirTree31]

She sounds like an entitled arse hole. Ignore OP, you did nothing wrong.

[ATomeOfOnesOwn]

She was rude but I don't think her request was UR. It's fairly common here for riders to ask pedestrians to give them space or to move on especially if the pedestrians have DCs because DCs can be as unpredictable as horses, and especially if they have a nervous horse. From the riders' pov, they had no idea where the OP and her DCs were going to go next but they did seem to be making a point of being within sight of the horses rather than continuing their walk.

[JaffaJaffJaffpussycatpuss]

YANBU, but it sounds like she wanted a power trip and you get this in all walks of life. My DM is best at it lol

[Glitterb]

I feel like we have only got one side of the story here tbh.

I’m sorry you thought she was rude but she may have been asking you to move in case the horses spooked/bolted near your children? Horses are unpredictable, as are children.

[LuxLuxLux84]

You stood your ground well and were right to do so.

[ragged]

Think I need a diagram... horse lady sounds uptight.

[HeckyPeck]

no he didn’t, the horse was a bit nuts, he would proper attack anyone that went near him in a hat, you couldn’t go in his field with one on, I’ve never seen a horse behave so aggressively.

It makes you wish they could talk and tell you what they were scared of.

[LuxLuxLux84]

You taught your boy that she had no right to dismiss you or move you on. She needed that lesson by the sounds of it.

[MingeofDeath]

For those who are saying that "skin colour might not be relevant in my world", you don't know what race I am.
I can't see what race the OP is has any bearing on this incident.

[heartsonacake]

Their age and your races are absolutely irrelevant and nothing to do with anything you posted.

[Dunkingthebiscuits]

She was a rude stuck up bitch. You weren’t doing anything wrong whatsoever.

I am a bit confused as to why you had to mention her age or that you were non white and they were white? Did she say anything about you being too young to be in the woods or that she was older than you and she has more right to be there then you or did she say anything about the colour of your skin? The reason I ask about skin colour is because my friend is black and I’ve read out your post and she is very confused as to why you have mentioned skin colour at all??
If she did mention about skin colour, then she is a fucking racist twat and should be reported .

[louloubelx]

You were definitely not in the wrong! I have a horse too, albeit I am very lucky as he is very chilled out, but I stop and let people fuss him if they ask whilst I am riding him. I would never dream of asking someone to move, unless they were doing something that was upsetting him. Even so, most people stop if they see someone struggling with their horse. Honestly forget about the rude cow! Obviously a very entitled woman!

[JellyfishandShells]

No - not buying your version of the story. Why would she want to waste her time asking you to be careful about your child waving sticks around ? She probably asked you nicely, you got embarrassed and offended and by the time you got back home, this is the version of the story you chose to believe.

Hope you feel now you have got a chorus of validation, OP