Too old for a 3rd child?

[HappyDays36]

I’m 42, recently split with husband. I have 2 boys aged 4 and 6.

I’m a hopeless romantic and still believe in love and marriage.

I work in an industry full of young, good looking, intelligent men (lucky me!). If I date one of these guys and things get serious then he might want a family and a biological child of his own. I’m open to that.

Has anyone been in that situation?

AIBU to think that at 42 I might meet someone new and have a baby with them while still fertile??

YABU - you’re too old to meet someone new and have another baby.
YANBU - anything is possible

You are not too old to have another baby, I had my second at 44 and I've seen a couple of women on here pregnant at 45. If you want another baby it's possible. You could consider sperm donation if you don't have time to meet a new man.

I don't think a 28 year old man would want a serious relationship with a 42 year old woman. Younger men like dating older women because older women have a reputation of being amazing in the bedroom. Any relationship with a man that much younger would most like be just a bit of fun/nothing serious for him. Imagine the stick he would get from his mates, dating an older women. Would a 28 year old man want to take on your two children and your ex husband, that's a lot of baggage for someone with no baggage, unless your 28 old man already has a child of his own then it might be different.

If you want to meet someone else, have you thought about OLD, to find someone closer to you in age? It's very likely they'd have kids from a previous relationship too and would perhaps not want anymore. Would you be happy with that? Is it the baby you really want or a new relationship? If another baby is not important, you have the rest of your life to meet a new partner, there's no rush.

I'd say you are jumping ahead a little...
The guy would surely want to get to know you properly, date, get to know your DC etc before having a baby with you.
You'd be more likely having a baby with him ( IF it works out) when you ate late 40's.
That, for me would be too old.

I think you need to grieve for your marriage and not just say “ok, next!”.

Please, please don’t distract yourself from your lovely DC that already exist in reality and miss their fleeting childhoods because you can’t accept that the romantic nuclear family ideal has imploded and are trying desperately to re-create it. Please don’t do that to your DC or yourself.

Take time to breathe, be there for your DC- you can date in the future. Maybe some therapy for now? You can’t just push pain away by running after the next thing. You have to face up to it.

I don't think a 28 year old man would want a serious relationship with a 42 year old woman. Younger men like dating older women because older women have a reputation of being amazing in the bedroom.

I think you’d also need to be alert to the possibility of a younger man wanting a serious relationship with an older woman harbouring ambitions of being a cocklodger. I’m not saying they all would be but some of them might well be.

That sudden feeling of being alone can hit you at any age. I’m in my 20s and I feel like this too! (Not the kids part).